On this last night of Ramadhan, I am pondering. What has the month done to me or more apt, what have I made the month to be for me? Have I done enough? Have I truly did my best? I would very much like to answer yes, but I know I should be truthful. The answer is no. And like so many years before, I feel sad.
On this last night of Ramadhan, I admit I have not done as much as I could have. I have wasted the blessed month. And it's ending. If I live long enough to see it again next year, then I'll get another chance.
I truly hope and pray whatever little things that I did is accepted and blessed. I truly hope so. I am not perfect, neither am I the best servant to Him. I aspire to be better everyday, but lame as it may sound, I am only human. I should have fought harder, sacrificed more. But nafs is still stronger than Iman. What a shame. Did I win the war? Because it feels like I lost... :-(
This is a lament of a person who is humbled by the greater power. This is a lament of a person who wants to be better. And this is prayer and hope that it will be answered, one day. InsyaAllah.
Here's to a blessed Eid for everyone.
1 comment:
jgn sedey2.. nk raya dh ni..minta maaf jer.. :-)
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