I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete -BSB; Incomplete
This is an example of a sad love song. It tells us how it feels like when losing someone that is very dear. Either by death or just because of a break-up in the relationship.
Writing from break-up perspective, let me tell you, it's true. It's very true; speaking from experiences.
BUT, let me also tell you that the feeling will pass after some time. For every heartache, they will heal. You cannot delete the memories, but the sadness, the pain, they will go away in time. Time heals, just like Mariah Carey's song; Love Takes Time (to heal). The tears will stop.
When you're going through a break-up whether you wanted it or not, the pain is there. You started to feel that you have wasted a lot of time and effort on this someone who is supposed to be in love with you. Because for those period of time that you're together, this other person became your centre of everything. In most cases, girls will definitely put their partner first before everything else. As it is the nature for a girl to do so. During this period, you spend most of your waking time with your partner than your friends or even family members. And obviously when the relationship ended, it feels as if the world ends with it.
But fear not, it doesn't. Because life goes on. When the other person, probably, is enjoying his/her new life, with laughter, smiles and new love, why should we wallow in tears for so long? Give time for grief because that is how you will heal. But do not stay there any longer than necessary. Life goes on.
Some people suggest to bury yourself with work because it will stop you from thinking about the loss. I disagree. You should spend time on thinking of what you have lost, and also what you have gained through out the experience. Cherish the happy times, learn from the sad ones. From here, slowly you will see that the break up is probably the best thing that could happen to you at a very opportune time. When you bury yourself with work, you are running away from what makes you sad, you're running away from reality. It's fine to do it for a while, but sooner or later you have to face the fact that life is not the same anymore and you have to accept this new breath of air. And move on.
Some people suggest to go out with friends rather than wallowing alone at home. I agree. But after you give time to yourself to be alone. Because the purpose of going out with friends is to enjoy and feel happy again. If you're going out while you're still in the grieving state, you will only end up with tears, if not while out, when you get back home. And this is not helping. It's okay to feel a little sadness amongst the laughter, you're only human. And move on.
Bad experiences in love relationship might make you bitter and not trusting. That is totally understandable. And no one can judge you badly for being this way. Because now you are wiser and you will start a new relationship with a purpose in mind and will not waste your time with players and jokers anymore. Because now you see the true meaning of a relationship and the value in it. So, if you're going out with someone who has different values on relationship, you know to draw the line, and to just enjoy the company as it is. You will not expect anything more. Because now, you know what you want from a serious relationship. So you move on.
Many people say that when the right person comes along, you do not even realise it. It just happen slowly and surely, and finally you are there! While it may not happen this way for everyone, the concept is the same. Because every one of us is meant for someone. It just need the right time for it to happen. Think of this time alone as way to enrich yourself and learn more about yourself, to love yourself more than everything else. To learn to be happy yourself, on your own, before you can be happy with someone else. And when your being is at the right frequency with that someone who is intended to you, surely the magic will happen. It sounds a little whimsical, but some how, it is true.
And when the real thing is happening, just rejoice every moment of it. Feel the love and happiness envelop your every senses. Don't let small little things bother you so much. If you have doubts or worries, communicate it with your partner. Because a relationship with repress feelings, is not healthy, in my opinion. It's a little scary to tell the person you love that you're upset or unhappy or angry, but if you do it, it makes you speak your mind, show your partner you have a stand, and God willing, he will appreciate it and respect you more.
Relationship is not easy. It needs hard work everyday. From the man and the woman. It cannot happen with only one person making the effort.
I sincerely hope that this post will help friends out there who are going through the heartaches. Some cannot let go of the past and give chance to new relationships. Some are still tearing from the pain. Some in relationships but emotionally repressed. I hope you will find solace, and whenever you need to talk, you know I'm all ears for you.