June 29, 2007

Be Thankful

There is a wise saying that tells us that if we have to compare, compare with the less fortunate, such you will be thankful.

A few weeks back, I was in Mak's kitchen making coffee for breakfast. The creamer was running out I had to open a new one. As I was cutting the metal top away, I stopped and a sudden realisation came to me. It was the second can that I opened that weekend. I remembered opening a fresh one just the morning before. I was a little stunned.

As I continue my coffee making routine, my grey matter started to spark sending all kinds of messages amongst each nodes. I thought about the people who would feel so lucky just to get their hands on a mug of teh tarik. What more to be able to have their coffee and tea with creamer every day.

I know it sounds extreme, but it does happen, doesn't it? I looked around Mak's kitchen and thought how blessed I am that my family has such a lovely abode. At that moment, it didn't matter that it was not a bungalow or a town house or a three-stories semi-D. At that moment it did not matter that my room was spartan, I was just thankful I have my own bathroom; there's no need to share with my brothers because their room has their own.

That second can of creamer made me think through out the making cekodok session. Seriously. I thought about how I have my own car, small it might be, but it gets me anywhere I want to. I thought about my job and the small amount I get every month, but I'm still able to rent on my own and have a life. I thought about the clothes and accessories that I own, the hundreds of Ringgit worth of perfumes. And I said to myself, I am blessed. In and out, end to end, I am blessed.

I thought about my parents, and how blessed I am that at this age I still have them both around. I can still run to Mak and have her hug me, or act foolish with Abah and get him to stare me. I can even get to miss them "lecturing" me, and just do something stupid to make sure they do! I am thoroughly blessed!

All these while, instead of thinking of these blessings and be thankful for them everyday, I always lament on the things that I do not or could not have. I complain about my salary and how I am created for bigger and greater things. I envy people living lavish lives, the lives at this moment I could only dream about. I feel sad when I cannot just replace the things that I lost.

I complain and lament and cry and complain and make noise.

Well, I guess I used to. I am doing my best to stop doing all those. Everytime I feel like complaining or lamenting, I do my best to remind myself of the less fortunate and be thankful on how blessed I am. I have realised that by looking at luckier people, even when I'm congratulating them and feel happy for them, I am hurting inside. I keep on asking God why wasn't I chosen to be one of the lucky ones? Why must I lost things or people that I love? I keep on asking "why". I realised I cannot be happy if I continue asking that.

So now, I'm living my life a day at a time. I am doing things based on what I have at the moment. I tell myself that God willing, my time will come and all my dreams will come true if they are indeed the best for me.

I believe that God has specific plans for everyone. He tests us with bad experiences, with good fortune. He is testing us whether we are happy or sad. He even tests us when He gives us knowledge. All that is here is His, we are only borrowers. It's with His grace that we are here today.

It does not matter now if I cannot buy that Honda that I dream or that condo in Damansara Perdana. There is a reason for everything. And the best thing is that, if we have to wait, we should. Because patience is its own reward. If you feel that you are not getting what you want, it's because that is the best for you. And if we continue asking "why", we can never move forward and we are stuck at thinking how unlucky we are. That's not how we should live our life, right?

So I am thankful. Really, really thankful. I am blessed. And the moment I can actually say those words dengan ikhlas I know I will be truly happy.

Our hati is something that we have to mold and guide. It is like teaching a child. Teach your hati good things, and it will be happy. Teach it to feel sad and it will cry. Teach it to be thankful and it will be comforted.

Have a good weekend everyone.

June 22, 2007

What do you want? Really.

"You nag so much! I'm going crazy with it!" he said.

"You don't nag... If you nag I would feel as if I'm needed, as if I'm important to you," he said.

Bizarre, I tell you madam! Absolutely preposterous!

To quote Sam Fuller (Gracie Hart's partner in Miss Congeniality 2):

"Man! Can't live with them, can't... Nope. That's it."

I deleted two paragraphs that I wrote after the above. Don't know what else to say. If I say too much, I will be considered nagging. I might as well keep quiet and be indifferent.

PS: I want my man to take care of me as much as I take care of him, if not more, that is. I want a man who is a MAN not a salivating, hormone-induced boy. I want a man who knows how to cherish his woman. Heh. I've said too much already.

June 15, 2007

A Bald Sharifah

There are more ways than one to be bald these days. Other than shaving your locks off.

Yes, I'm opposed to Amani going skin head, even if it's for a part in the movie. I am all for realism in movies, but hey, we're after all, not Hollywoodians, eh?

You see, some things, maybe you can be radical and challenge them. But for the rest, it's better to let it be.

Maybe, just maybe, these people ought to use their pots of money to buy a clue. In the quest of being the best or making the best, we should not forget our roots, eh?

Having said that, I'm still excited waiting for the next movie by Yasmin Ahmad. As you know, I am after all a fan of her movies...

June 12, 2007

E to the G to the O

EGO is a funny thing. That is if you feel broken relationship, miscommunication, destroyed friendships are hilarious.

Observe the following scenarios...

1. An old timer on a subject is a type of person who likes people asking questions and said old timer's opinion. Let's call this old timer, OT. OT likes to feel important. OT is an emotional person. OT can be really involved with the work that OT is doing. OT expects new comers to come and ask questions rather than OT gives everything on silver platter.

2. New comers on the subject. Let's call them NCs. NCs are no strangers to the field of work. However NCs are new to the subject. Sometimes when you are new to something you don't even know where to begin, what to ask. Because you are not familiar with the subject. And most of the time you wait for people to feed you the information.

3. Another new comer who handles the people and the subject. Let's call this one the PM. Lacking on PM's side makes things go haywire and out of control. PM also have no clear picture of the subject thus might have made things worse rather than better.

Suffice to say, all this three scenarios are related, tightly. But things have gone out of proportion. Ego is bruised. Of egoism no questions asked. Egoistically handled, everything went out of hand.

OT chose to keep quiet and not giving input. NCs are clueless and confused, yet hesitate to take the first steps. While PM basically have no control on the issue.

I know it seems like a trivial issue, but it happens, every day, everywhere. And the sad thing is because things could have work beautifully if it was not for the huge EGO that everyone has. Miscommunication could have been avoided in earlier state if NCs immediately do something to clear few misunderstandings. To expect OT to understand would be a little difficult especially when NCs and PM knew one another long before.

Conflict of interest, I guess. Anyway, as an onlooker, we could only hope things work out for the best.

I still believe that EGO when managed correctly can be used to the best of everything. But then again, that's just me, eh?

Have a lovely Tuesday, friends and foes. ;-)

June 11, 2007

Family event

I took the day off last Friday because on Saturday was my cousin's wedding reception. Yours truly was the designated emcee. I spent the day looking for a suitable outfit since the one that I intended to wear clashes with the theme colour of the day. Haih. Susah kan?

First, I went to Cheras Selatan newly opened Jusco, because the other day I saw this beautiful kain and baju kebaya Nyonya style. What I missed was that they were not sewn yet! Duhh... So, later that petang I drove to Ampang Park. There's a boutique there that I visit once a year to get my baju raya. I was disappointed though, because they do not have good selection outside raya season. Boleh ke macam tu?

Luckily Ampang Park always have all these sellers selling all sorts of things. So, I settled for a modern kebaya with a wrap around skirt. The colour is very classic, I felt as if I was in the 50s. He he he...

Anyway, the wedding reception was a success if you overlook our disappointment with the hall management, the caterers and the logistics provider. The event was beautiful, and 100% managed by the cousins. *wink*

And on Sunday morning, I fell asleep on the couch while reading Anne Frank's diary. I woke up just to go upstairs and sleep on the bed. Exhausted and tired.

Today however, I am fully energised and eager to tackle the challenges for the day (ewaaahhh)! Very hungry though. Can't wait for lunch time. I feel like tepanyaki today... Hmm...

June 6, 2007


Love Me Enough

I need you to love me enough so that you care
And not love me too much that I cannot go anywhere

I need you to love me enough so that you respect the decisions that I make
And not love me too much that you decide everything that I should do

I need you to love me enough so that you trust me
And not love me too much that you check my every move

I need you to love me enough that you can set me free
And not love me too much that binds you to me

I need you to love me enough so that I can have my space
And not love me too much that I'm hounded by your face

I need you to love me enough so that I feel safe
And not love me too much that I fear being with you

I need you to love me enough so I can love you back
And not love me too much that I keep holding back

I need you to love me enough that I am my own woman
And not love me too much that makes me cling to my man

I need you to love me enough
And not love me too much

Because I do love you enough
And not love you too much


If I can see the future I might not stand with you today
If I can see the future I might be ahead all the way
If I can see the future I might not take any chances
If I can see the future I might not believe in chances
If I can see the future I might not do what I did yesterday
If I can see the future I might be questioning my worth everyday
If I can see the future I might decide to be alone forever
If I can see the future I might fall in love with you even sooner
If I can see the future I might wish for naught
If I can see the future I might wish that I cannot

June '07

Good Article

I did not read last week's Mingguan Malaysia. And by so, I missed a very good article. Luckily, IAM2 actually posted this article. So, read on...

SPECIAL EDITION: from Mingguan Malaysia

June 5, 2007

On Saturday...

The plan was actually to go to Akuaria... But, wrong timing, wrong season altogether. We decided to go to the Popular Book Fair. I never had to pay going in to a book fair before, but this time we had to. RM2 per entry per day.

These are the books that managed to follow us home that day. Four of those are mine. Mine! Mine! The top book, that's definitely mine!! If I had heavy pockets this month, I would've bought more and more books! Alas...

Anyway, now, I have started a new routine. The breakfast book, the weekend book, and the anywhere, anytime books.

This was our tea break. As usual, ice cream never failed to make me happy. Coupled with coffee, hish! They definitely made my day!

The feast ended approximately 15 minutes after it was laid on the table. He he he... Yes, we're a couple of sweet tooth kids.

In the evening, I went to watch two movies. Waris Jari Hantu and Next. The former was not scary at all, although a little sad and touching. The ending, was not unexpected. I sorta figured it out much, much earlier. Most probably others had too. I'll give the movie three stars for effort and acting. The latter movie, was interesting, but the ending made me a bit dumbfounded. The storyline was a bit shaky. I do not mind a hanging ending but it was too abrupt. I thought they could do better. And for this one I shall give two stars.

Hey, I'm an amateur movie reviewer. My take on movies do not represent the masses, it's just what I feel. And if anyone else shares the same views, it says something about the movie, right? He he he...

The company's dinner is tonight. I still haven't had the faintest idea how to achieve the hair and makeup that I'm planning. But I know I will by the time I'm ready. Now... if only I could get someone to drive me to the hotel... Hmmm...