Good, Good Life

If there is an automatic setting for this blog to have cobwebs when there is no update every three days, this blog will be full of it. My last entry was in September and it was a test entry from the iPad. You would think with the iPad, there will be more updates. Ha ha ha.

Life, if you just live it, is very, very interesting indeed. You meet new people, you re-acquainted with old friends, you get along with someone, and you write about all these people, you observe them, and you read what they write, and life by all means are very, very exciting.

The sky has been the bluest blue these past couple of days. Sure there are some grey clouds floating around, but I am thoroughly enjoying the blue sky. Somehow, with it being so blue, the rest of the world becomes more beautiful. Trees and grasses look greener, hills look prettier than ever.

And life, it’s like that. When we choose to see all the beauty in it, we will focus on the good things instead of the bad things (grey clouds). There are a lot more good friends than bad, more beautiful memories than sad ones, easier ways to do things than harder, and the list goes on and on. Ultimately it’s our choice. If we choose to see the bad things in life, it will consume us and we will end up being suffocated.

I’ve been really busy lately to catch up with old friends, good friends. If I continue down this road, I will end up losing them. Luckily the bunch that I hold dear, understand the life, and when we do catch up, it’s as if there were no hiatus in between. And again, it is my choice, to make the time and effort to pick up the phone and ring them, or just compose a new email. Sure, we cannot get together as often as we like, but we must continue to connect. In any way we can.

I look around, I see people connecting every day, every single moment. Some with honest intentions, some not. Some genuinely like the people they are connecting with, some do it because they have to. And that is life.

We are souls that thirst for connection, for involvement. That is the reason some of us are in temporary relationship, or trapped in a bad relationship, because any connection is better than none. No one is a detached soul. The thing that differs one person to the next, are the intentions and ultimate goal. What do you want from the connection or involvement?

Although life is not always fair, and relationship is not always smooth, choose to look at the bright side of things. That life is not always unfair and relationship is not always rocky. Aim for balance. The sky is not always grey, and for today, it is the brightest blue!

I love my life!

From My iPad

This is my first post from my iPad. Using the Recently released Blogger app for iPhone. Not exactly an ideal solution, but it serves the purpose for now. I hope Blogger will come up with a better update to the app and customised properly for iPad.

Lots of things are happening lately. So far I am happy the way things are going at the new place. Sure there are gossips and talks and everything else, but it happens anywhere and everywhere. There's no such thing as a perfect environment in this world, right? We work with what we have at the moment.

Urghh... I wish Apple will have the update to automatically capitalised the single "i". Now, let's see if inserting picture will work...

Trapped by JERAT

Sinopsis (from fixi.com.my):

Apakah kaitannya dua pembunuhan kejam dan satu kemalangan (atau mungkin juga sebenarnya percubaan bunuh yang gagal) dengan sebuah tender IT bernilai RM400 juta?

Kemalangan itu meragut ingatan Shereen. Apabila terjaga dari lena yang panjang, semuanya hilang. Dia perlu bangun semula dan bina kehidupan dan kenangan baru. Tetapi kini dia tidak pasti, siapa kawan, siapa lawan. Siapa Tash? Siapa Melia? Siapa Adele? Siapa Rizwan Zakaria? Siapa Datuk Hasnoor? Siapa Rahmat Hamidi? Dan siapa pula Pak Ya?

Di tengah-tengah kekalutan itu, dia juga perlu membongkar kegiatan penyeludupan kod-kod program ke luar negara yang didagangkan di pasaran gelap. Mampukah kepakaran IT Forensiknya membantu? Mungkinkah dia akan melepasi JERAT, atau akhirnya kecundang?

 

I received this book last week, on Thursday, from the author, Dayang Noor. Her blog is The Red Sandal Diaries. I started reading that night, and finished it the following night.

And I love it.

I very rarely read novels written in Malay. They are either soapy love stories, or soapy love stories. The thickest book I have read that was written in Malay was Hikayat Hang Tuah, and that was soooooooo long ago when I was in primary school.

So, JERAT. We have established earlier that I love it. Not because the author is my friend, but because the story line is refreshing. Being published from FIXI should already give people the idea that the book will be different. This is the first book from FIXI that I’ve read, although I was planning to get the other books since earlier this year, but never gotten to doing it.

The story is set in the IT world, something that I am familiar with. Kesian the PM pening kepala trying to get the project back on track, although the story is not about him at all. He he he…

I like the pace of the story. It keeps you on your toes and the linking between the scenes are interesting. Cehh… aku cakap macam aku dah expert je kan? What I mean is that, the story is engaging to me, it keeps me glued to it. Take for example on Friday night. The Hubby was taking The Baby and I out, but I kept going back to the book in between getting ready. Ha ha ha… Siap baring atas katil and curling to the book occay!

For a debut novel, I feel that Dayang Noor did very well. She has been blogging for years, and she has written a successful screenplay before (you can read this in her biography). So knowing that, it’s not so surprising that she’s able to craft something that I tweeted as “a mash between CSI and Digital Fortress”. Granted Dayang is no Quentin Tarantino or Dan Brown, but to me, she has what it takes should she continue doing this. :-) And I’m not saying this just because she’s a friend. Hahaha…

If you like suspense, conspiracy, modern themed book; and you don’t mind using Mr. Google to search for IT terms that are alien to you, this is a book that you should not miss. Yes, there are a lot of IT jargons in there, but without understanding them, you can still enjoy the book. It’s like reading John Grisham with the endless law terms (kan?). You can get JERAT from FIXI or Amazon. Yes people, it’s in Amazon!

The book launch will be at Annexe Gallery, Central Market this weekend, 17th September 2011. I hope I will be able to make it there.

To Kak Dayang, congratulations on this achievement! I am waiting patiently for your second book. And 5 weeks to write a book takes lots of discipline! I really admire your perseverance and dedication. :-) Here’s to more and more. I sincerely hope that I will follow your footsteps and be brave enough to send my attempts for review. He he he…

Cerita Aqiqah

Ada orang tanya tak da buat kenduri cukur jambul ke untuk baby? Dari dulu aku rasa benda ni macam tak betul. Siap ada naik buai kan? And these days aktiviti ni dah jadi macam kenduri bertunang atau kenduri kahwin. Siap ada door gift untuk orang yang datang. Ada yang berbelanja besar atas nama mengwarwarkan kelahiran bayi dan bersyukur semuanya selamat dan sempurna. :-)

Tapi, macam mana nak terangkan pada orang yang dah selalu berkenduri kendera nih? So, dengan senyuman aku jawab aja baik2....

Kitorang takda buat kenduri Aqiqah, tapi alhamdulillah dah sempurnakan aqiqah dan cukur kepala pada hari ke-7. Daging aqiqah didermakan.

Ada jugak question kenapa daging aqiqah tu tak jamu saudara mara? Isk... padahal depa boleh beli beriyani kambing kat restoran kan?

Fact is, kitorang gunakan khidmat ezyQurban je untuk urusan Aqiqah. Sebab kalau nak buat sendiri semua tak sempat nak dapatkan sunnah hari ke7 tu kan? Ada pulak suara sumbang kata itu pertubuhan opportunist.

Samada diorang opportunist atau tidak, itu urusan depa dengan Allah. At least, kitorang dah sempurnakan tanggungjawab, insyaAllah.

Itulah kekadang buat kita terpikir, masyarakat kita terlalu taksub dgn sweet nothings sampai yang penting tu yang diorang terlupa.

At this moment, serba salah pulak samada perlu atau tak nak buat kenduri doa selamat atau kesyukuran... :-)

Kitorang cukur rambut baby sehabis boleh, walaupun rambut baby sangat cantik. Subhanallah. Adalah tinggal sikit2 rambut dia, sebab bila cukur tu dia nak pergi. I think, itu adalah dugaan Allah SWT pada ibu bapa, nak tgk sanggup atau tidak cukur rambut yang cantik tuh.

Tahnik pun kitorang sempurnakan masa hari baby lahir. Mak bawak kurma.

Kadang2 kita kena go against the norm, sebab the norm tu tak betul. And kita mesti yakin dgn keputusan kita. Lebih penting, suami isteri mesti support each other. Sebab ini tggjawab sama2 bina keluarga.

 

Ps: sebenarnya, ini copy paste dari tweets from my twitter account. haha… so, excuse the shortforms and one liners.

7th day of Syawal

I am falling into a routine. Go to work, come back and attend to The Baby. Sleep, night feeds, sleep, wake up, go to work.

I hate routine.

So many things on my mind, so many things I am planning. Can’t stop processing.

Work has been good so far. Group mates asked for my blog address. Here’s hoping that they will read with open mind and should I write anything about office, they’ll take it with pinch of salt. Like I said, read at your own perils. LOL.

I need a change. I am due for hair trimming. Need to find a new stylist, since my old one is in the old office building. And I am getting emotional with the way my hair is behaving. Times like this, wearing tudung is so much easier. And a very wrong reason to wear it too! The Hubby is on leave for the next two weeks. Lucky him! But, he deserves it, after those early mornings, long days and late nights for the past month. I am glad that we’re back to being a unit.

Syawal has been a little blah for me. Such experience, having to prepare The Baby before preparing myself! That is the fun part. I have also come to a conclusion that the ones that matter most are my own family. The rest of the world, they can bungee jump for all I care. My priorities now are my own family; The Hubby and The Baby, my own family and The Hubby’s. The extended family… is just that, extended. Still love them, but no longer sits at first 15 seats. And I am done pleading so that I can join the fun. I have redefined my version of fun. That is with my own family members.

At work, I have been asked by The Director and The Manager to come out with process improvements for the current project. This project has been around for so long that the project managers are more like coordinators than project managers. I don’t claim to know everything that I will be able to turn the table around within months to make things better, but I will do my best to ensure it happens! I am faced with some adversity, but I am prepared to the challenges, insyaAllah. It might not be in the other people’s performance review, but it is in mine! So, by hook or by crook, I will get the things done!

It has been a month. Time flies. I feel pressed to make an impact. I am starting my day with positive vibes. Even when I hear or see unpleasant things, I do my best to control the state I am in, and shift the energy to better ones as much as I can. I do not come from zero, and without knowledge. There is a reason why I am here, and why I am being charged to do what I do. So I am going to do it. After all, work is work, and that’s the purpose I am here. It is not a matter of life and death. I vow never to make work a reason to alter my composure for the worse. I must always remember that when people are being defensive, it is because they feel weak or they fear the unknown. I on the other hand, should not play the same game.

I know now, that I must strategise. I dare to be different, therefore I am. So, bring it on!

Hari Raya

Day 3 of Syawal, we're still in Kuching. Little princess is down with flu... :-( She is sleeping now. Went to the clinic earlier just to confirm it is normal fever she's having.

The Hubby said that it is possible her separation anxiety has started. Because she cries everytime I leave the room. I could hardly listen to her sobbing. Breaks my heart. When The Hubby got back from Sydney, it took her some time to get use to her father. It's like she knew who he is, but wondered how he got out from the boxed screen (laptop).

The Baby can now sit up straight when we propped her up. She loves it so much. Probably makes her feel like grown ups around her. She crawls on her belly like ulat bulu. So cute!

Being a mom is tiring. So far it teaches me to be consistent, patient, perseverance, focus, empathy. Teaches me to learn to be firm while speaking softly. The books say that at this juncture, babies do not yet understand the word "no". But they understand hugs and kisses, and facial expressions. I learn to control my emotions so that my heartbeat is normal, eventhough I am desperate to get her to sleep. If I feel agitated, she will react to it, and bedtime will be even later.

Being a mom is tiring. But it teaches me lots of things. It's a lie when people say the tiredness just disappear when you look at your child. Hahaha... Fact is you still feel tired, you just feel entertained. Married women tell so many lies to their unmarried friends, with good intentions, I'm sure. Beauty sleep is now a distant memory and tired eyes are my new best friends. Thanks to eye cream and serum I manage to control them.

Looking forward to new adventure this life brings! My baby is turning 7 months in less than ten days. How time flies...

posted from Bloggeroid

New News

It’s the 4th of Ramadhan. It’s the 4th day at the new place.

My seat is by the window. So I can see the traffic on Federal Highway, as well as the traffic heading to the PLUS highway.

This week, is a relax week. The bulk will come next week.

I woke up for sahur at 5am. And I don’t go back to sleep, because I leave for work as early as 7:30am. (Yikes!) But somehow, because you’re doing what you like, it does not matter. Hmmm…

Most people here are married. Lots of character. I’m still in the observing and listening phase. Different types of PMs they have here. The loud, the friendly, the timid, the follower, etc.

Baby Hana is adjusting to the new timing very well. This morning, when I went down to prepare the things for work, she was sleeping. Before I left, I went up again to check on her and let Mak know that I’m leaving. And what do I see? Baby Hana is lying on her back, pondering the morning. She woke up to wave me goodbye like she does every morning now since Monday. I miss my baby.

She has now started to push herself forward when she’s on her tummy. And she’s getting faster. I noticed yesterday morning when I was assembling the pump. She was on her tummy, next to me. And soon enough, she was in front of me trying to grab the pump parts! My baby is growing so fast!

I hope The Hubby will be able to come back next weekend as planned. They are requesting for him to extend his stay, but I’m praying he can come back and we can be a family again. :-)

As for now, I’m off to read the project contract again!

I am blessed again…

I secretly feel that things are shaping up nicely, insyaAllah.

Several great things are happening, one by one, albeit slow and steady. But I am not complaining, as they say, slow and steady wins the race. I still believe in that. But if you can be quick and steady, it is even better. :-)

In late June my request to blog with the PMI blog team was accepted. And earlier this week, my first post was published. You can read it here: Grooming the Apprentice Project Manager. You’re most welcome to share your thoughts on the topic. And maybe add in your own tips and techniques in coaching your team members on management skills.

After I was accredited as a PMP, I started a small blog: Looneypuff’s Project Management Blog. My main objectives was to share my study notes and ideas on PMBOK Guide 4th Edition especially for PMP aspirants. Besides that, I also want to share my own insights on project management,team management, coaching, etc. A couple of months back, I was contacted by one of the familiar faces in PMP training, Cornelius Fichtner, to re-publish his articles in my blog. I hope the blog will be useful not only to PMP aspirants but by other people as well. Who knows, one day I’ll come up with a book! Ameen!

In late May I received a new job offer. I did not jump to accept it right away because although it looked promising, I did a double take. I was hoping that other options would come up. But none did, so after discussing with The Hubby, I accepted the offer. My main concern is to start building a real portfolio that can be useful in the future.

Two weeks ago, I was contacted by a manger from one of the companies that I went for interview during my confinement period (LOL). Apparently the director would like to meet up with me and last week I went for the second interview. By the end of the session I can sense he already made his decision whether to hire me or not; I just wasn’t sure which one. His poker face is awesome; got to learn that. I received the call next day telling me I got the job and that “the director is keen” for me to join the team. The offer is not as good as the first one I received, but I accepted it immediately. Hah! I’m cheap!

Upon receiving the letter of offer, I contacted the first company to tell them I am unable to join them next month. To my surprise, the HR manager that I met whom I collected my offer letter from has resigned; and she was only 8 months in the company! Does not sound very promising, eh? After a brief discussion with the HR executive, I sent an email to them through the headhunter that matched me with the company. And this headhunter is another story. I told her that my reasons of retracting my acceptance of the offer is personal, she got agitated and hang up the phone! My experience with her had not been a good one since beginning, so I wrote her a very nice email. Really, it was a nice email, not even one angry word.

I have also began a cute little thing with my good friend Mel: Cool Tots. Do drop by and check out the things that we have to offer. We are new, but we plan to stay for a long, long time. We are not only selling cool things online, but we are also sharing tips and ideas on many, many things. Some of which are being contributed by other parents worldwide. So, check us out at Cool Tots today!

So, in short, I am hoping all these new ventures will be good for the family and I. We are building our nest, and I hope to fill it not only with worldly goods but spiritual values as well, insyaAllah.

Short One

My daughter turned 5 months on Monday, 11th July. She has now started on solids as per her doctor’s suggestion. And that gave me reason to buy this:

It’s Philips Avent Steamer Blender. Thanks to Momster for writing about it. Many, many thanks babe! Needless to say, I am loving it!

The Hubby is back in Sydney for another 5 weeks stint. He left on Sunday morning. For the three weeks that he was in KL, our weekends were fully booked with family events. We planned to jalan-jalan on the Saturday before he left; but well, we did not because of you-know-what happened. It is a no brainer that I am supremely pissed still.

Anyway, with every bad tidings there is always a silver lining. I do believe that. This week I received a good news that I have been waiting for quite sometime. Suffice to say, new environment, new people, new challenges.  You’ve guessed it! Again, with any choice that you make, there are pros and cons. So bring it on!

So, as snippets went, I think this is really a snip! Have a great weekend ahead lovely people. Don’t do anything illegal.

After the Weekend

Over the weekend, my cousin got married. Many guests either arrived very, very late or had to turn back home. There were a lot of road-blocks around KL outskirt because of the scheduled walkabout by Bersih. Let me just rant in points, so that I don't miss out anything, and you get to see that I am apolitical.

1. The reception was held in one of Police IPD's ballroom; my uncle is a police officer (how ironic!). The roadblock was right in front of the IPD; five lanes became one lane. (My brother who left the house later than the rest of us, was in the jam for 4 hours, and he was only 20 meters from the IPD entrance).
2. Maybe the IPD wants to save cost, so they set up the block right in front of their IPD. Easy, to the point. After all, the location IS admittedly strategic.
3. The maid of honor was unable to perform her duty because she was in the traffic too! The ceremony was a bit delayed, two tables for VIPs are empty.
4. Okay, enough about the wedding. Suffice to say, it went great except for the effects of the rally.
5. Bersih is an association that is politically influenced, the way I see it. It would be better if they are free of political ideologies. And this will be the only point for this matter.
6. After having said point #5, I am all for clean and fair election. I am not a member of any political parties, nor am I leaning to any one ideology. I dislike politics. To say I hate it would be too harsh, for someone has got to do the dirty job. And politic, it is just that; dirty, regardless whom you represent or support.
7. Do you remember our Rukun Negara? At least the five points that we keep on reciting every Monday assembly when we were in school? It said; 1. Believe in God, 2. Loyalty to the King and Country, 3. Upholding the Constitution, 4. Upholding the Law,  and 5. Politeness and Propriety
8. It doesn't say anything about political party. So we are free to support any individual that we believe will be able to guide us based on these 5 characteristics.
9. The way I see it, in Malaysia today, there are no individuals who are able to govern by these characteristics. Be it from the current ruling party or the others.
10. To me, Najib Razak is a weak leader and Anwar Ibrahim can/will never be my Prime Minister. I dislike them both equally.
11. A Wakil Rakyat, should just be that. A representative of the people who speaks the people's voice and not run his/her own agenda. And by speaking  for the people, does not mean visiting the "crime scene" after the "crime" has been committed and talking to the victims. Nor does it mean to wear neck braces and sporting a blackened eye to get sympathies; stop acting.
12. Having said all that, I am an idealist and what I said are all too good to be true. It can never happen in this world, anywhere in the world in fact.
13. If you feel Malaysia is a bad country to live in and Europe or Australia or the US is a better place to live in, by all means, go and live there. Then tell us how it is.
14. Funny how no one wants to live in African countries or Arab countries kan? When they do comparison, Malaysia is always compared to the 1st world countries. 
15. Funny how people seem to conveniently forget that they are able to breed and feed in peace, collect and create wealth in peace. 
16. Funny how people use religion and race to get support and sympathy.
17. Funny how people seem to forget that religion (whatever your faith is) teaches us humility and kindness. And not to "menyusahkan" other people. By rallying (and just by supporting) the other day, you have done just that.
18. Bersih was supposed to be about electoral reform and not toppling the government. But reading statuses of majority of the supporters are clearly showing the latter.
19. I would like to know the number of registered voters amongst the tens of thousands that came to walk the Bersih walk on Saturday. If you want to change the government, do your part in the next election.
20. Funny how people easily forget that no one is perfect. Not Najib. Not Anwar. Not Lim Kit Siang. Not Nik Aziz. They are just normal people. In Islam, we believe that the only person that is protected from faults (maksum) are Prophets (peace be upon them) of Allah SWT.

Hah... Sudah2 la membebel tuh. Time to go for lunch and SHOP!

 

In The End…

… the winner is…

HTC Desire Z!!!

Yes! I am now a proud owner of a cool Android gadget! LOL! This phone has brought back the geek in me. I am almost always (whenever I have the free time) looking for ways to enhance my HTC Android experience. I am sure there are lots more this thing can do, but as of now, I am going slow with it. We are after all still at getting-to-know-each-other stage.

It is still on Froyo. I am hoping HTC will release the Gingerbread update soon. I mean, it is already July and HTC has promised to deliver it by end of June. So, where is it y’all? Source: HTC customer service confirms HTC Desire Z Gingerbread update for Q2

Do I miss my Blackberry Curve? Oh yes, I do. I miss the lightness of it compared to Desire Z. But then again, Desire Z has bigger screen and “awesomer” camera. Ohhhh… I don’t need instagram to enhance the photos too, because HTC provides the filters together with the camera functions. He he he… Well, not that I have made full use of it yet. In that respect, I am thankful I did not spend for iPhone 4…

Come! Join the Android madness and leave your iPhones behind!! Angry Birds are free on Android!!

A New Contender

Hmmm… I have a strange feeling…

It is… Sony Xperia Arc.

I shall check it out later… Hmmm…

Honestly, I don’t mind not using Blackberry anymore… Then again, the only emotional attachment I have towards it, is because the phone was a gift from The Hubby and the fact that I’m able to chat with him anytime, anywhere. Not that we’re doing that much these days. He’s so busy… isk… isk…

So, on to Ms. Arc. I shall see you later luv!

p.s: see only haaaa…

Jury Is Still Out

I cannot decide.

 

Blackberry Torch

Pro: can BBM with The Hubby and I totally master the interface already

 

 

 

 

iPhone 4

Pro: can sync with my iPad easily, especially with iCloud

 

 

 

 

Nokia E7

Pro: nice spacious keypad for all my typing needs

 

 

 

 

What I want to be able to do:

• Blog
• Email
• Tweet
• Read document, read book
• Play Angry Bird or something similar

Ermm…

All ado about Anak Malaysia

So, Hannah Yeoh is a Chinese, her husband is an Indian. They want to register their daughter as “Anak Malaysia”. What is wrong with that picture?

On the other side of this bumi bertuah, I am a Malay and The Hubby is a Melanau (No, Melanau is not Malay, please correct your understanding). Our daughter is registered as Melanau.

Here’s the story, I went to JPN to register Baby Hana. In the form, I filled up her race as “Melanau”. Ten minutes later, the lady at the counter called me to confirm this bit of fact. I affirmed the status and with a smile on my face, I asked is there something wrong with it? She replied to say that some people does not want to do that. So I said, well, I wrote it in the form, so we want it that way.

Now, I have no problem about this, I am curious why other people is? What is it about being “Anak Malaysia”? Everyone knows we are all Anak Malaysia since Dr. Sam sang it out loud in the 80s. But, still, it is not a race.

I am not being racist here. Your race is your legacy. It’s your root. Yes, we could’ve register Baby Hana as a Melayu, no doubt about it. That’s the beauty of a mixed marriage. It does not mean she is less a Melayu because we did not register her as such. And it does not mean she is less Melanau just because she hasn’t been to Sarawak yet.

And “Anak Malaysia” is not a race. So why would you put it in the race column? Your nationality is already being defined as a Malaysian. That’s the reason who hold a MyKad. Legally, no non-Malaysian will hold a MyKad.

The best thing the government can do is to do away with the race column. For demographic purpose, just identify as Bumi or non-Bumi. Then again, this is another matter which can cause butthurt in many people. So, let’s just leave it for the sake of the current topic.

Also, do away with the race column in so many other forms from banks, associations, job applications, loyalty card applications, etc. There is no need for it to be there in this case.

So to Hannah Yeoh and Husband, although I’m touched you’re willing to do away with your roots recognition, I am sure your kid will still learn both legacies, but I don’t agree with the “Anak Malaysia” idea. You should modify the way you fight your cause.

And to the so called human rights activists who are fighting for “racism in Malaysia”, I would like to say that before you started your war, there hardly a “racial tension”. People respect each other’s backgrounds and religions. You all have hidden agendas and making normal people like myself go berserk for no reason. If I can turn you lot into frogs, I will.

If I were to fight for racism, I would start in the office where there are different races around, but the people using their race dialect when talking about work. Use English lah if you feel using Bahasa Malaysia means creating racial tension. Blurgh!

Test Post From Email

This is my test post from my email.

And this is one of my favourite cartoons when I was a kid.

My response to OWC

When I first read about Obedient Wives Club (Kelab Isteri-isteri Taat) on my Twitter timeline, I thought it was… interesting. Lots of rage and sarcastic comments made me curious to know what was it all about.

Upon reading the news update, I was emotional. While people keep on hyping about how the club promotes wives’ sexual prowess to ensure husbands’ fidelity, I was outraged to read the founder’s statement; “abused wives deserve it because they did not make their husbands happy”. How can a woman said that to another woman? It was as if she was under some kind of brain washing sedative that made her incoherent.

After my rage subsided, I decided that there could be a mistake. Maybe either of these two things (or both) happened:

1. The founder did not prepare a proper press statement and she got a little too excited to promote her cause
2. The founder’s statement was taken out of proportion by the press

Now, I do not know which happened, but until to date, there is no official press conference called by the club to clarify the matter. What I have read in the news so far, it seems like the club members agree with the following:

1. A woman deserve the abuse she receives because she does not know how to make her husband happy
2. A woman needs to be better than a first class prostitute to entertain her husband in the sack
3. A woman is responsible for her husband’s fidelity/infidelity

While I agree that sexual relationship between husband and wife is important, it is not the center of a relationship. It is what spice the relationship. And a relationship needs more than sex to flourish and be strong. What’s more, both the husband and wife are responsible in the relationship, they both are accountable for their actions. A great bedroom activity does not guarantee a loyal husband; or a loyal wife for that matter. All male friends that shared their views on this topic agree that sexual relationship is not the only thing that keep the relationship intact.

It is a good idea to promote healthy relationship between husbands and wives. It is great that they realise sex plays an important role. But it is absurd to be comparing a wife to that of a prostitute. It is degrading.

It is also good to encourage wives to obey their husbands; we know some wives are stubborn, we admit that. Allah SWT said we should obey so long as it is not against Islam. And Islam promotes love and dignity, as such would you obey if your husband asks you to act like a prostitute, even if it’s only for him?

Bottom line, relationship takes two to make it work. I hope the founder or representative from the club will quickly make an official statement to really share clear direction and objective of the club. Here’s to hoping there was a miscommunication somewhere that resulted this issue exploding.

Well, what say you?

Ps: the club is opening a branch in Singapore. http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20110613-283736.html

Counting my blessings today

Yeay! Alhamdulillah! Lots of things are happening for me now. It is impacting the family indirectly, in a good way, insyaAllah. Truth be told, never despair, for He will grant your wish when it is best for you in every way. It’s okay if we have to wait a little while to get the things that we want, because when it happens, it feels magical.

One by one, the puzzle pieces are falling into place. InsyaAllah in time, if able, I will share them with you my friends. Suffice to say, I am thankful and in no way I am bragging, I just have to put my feelings into words before they overwhelm me. This is a post that is close to my heart, a way to remind myself that I must always be patient and be thankful.

My loyal readers (heh! is there? haha… perasan bagus sikit) will already know by now that I have always said that I almost always get things that I want very late. I do not need to replay the same old track again. I just want to remind myself that there’s always blessings in disguise for everything that has happened. And I want to remember the feeling of getting my wishes come true however late, however far in between. I want to remember the smile on my face and the warmth that spread all over me chasing the dread away.

It is so uplifting when you get responses like “Great job!” or “Well done!” or “Excellent work!”. Yes, it’s human’s appreciation that makes us, normal people feel a little bit happier than before. But I should not forget who made that possible. It is He, working His magic. Therefore, I am thankful to Him. And when I receive words of appreciation, I now know it comes from Him.

Before, it was very difficult for me to accept compliments. I am terrible at receiving unexpected gifts. I felt I don’t deserve them. Don’t ask me why I felt that way, I do not know the reason. But these days, I slowly be more receptive, and I pray every time I receive human appreciation and applause, it makes me more humble than before.

Thank you Allah, for making things happen for me.

And It Begins…

Ever since I started to be active on Twitter, I get to read a lot of quotes, sayings and opinions. Some are good, some – not so good. Some wisdom, some trolls. It’s really about filtering what you’re reading.

There is one celebrity that I am following. Her musings are worth to be read. While I agree on her idea of children upbringing, not many of us are lucky enough to have enough means as she does. I might be assuming a lot, but as I see it, she has the freedom to choose when she wants to take an assignment and when she wants to be home with her children. Lucky her. She must have several silent incomes under her belt.

It is true when people say that a woman, once she becomes a mother, her thoughts are mostly for her child and how best she can be a great mother to her child. If she is a working woman, the thought of leaving the job crosses the mind often. Of course, if one breadwinner is sufficient, it can happen in an instant. But for someone like me, it is not as easy. In fact, we are thinking how to get more without sacrificing the time with the child.

I miss my daughter when I’m at work. But since I started working after my confinement period, never once I call home to check with Mak or Abah on how Baby Hana is doing. I know if I do that, I will start making it a habit. And I am confident that under the care of my parents, my baby will be fine, insyaAllah.

In the morning, if I do not have pressing matters in the office, I will bathe Baby Hana, feed her and put her to bed for her morning nap. These days, since she can sleep on her own, after the morning ritual of bathing and playing and feeding, I will just put her on the bed, and go get ready for work. Baby Hana will be sleeping by the time I’m ready for work. Give her a kiss and whisper sweet things and leave for work. Once at work, I put Baby Hana at the back of my mind and concentrate on work. Finish with work, I will go straight home as soon as I am able. And after putting the EBM in the fridge, I will go and get my daughter immediately. I know she misses me too because she will hold on to me tightly.

Babies are geniuses. Don’t think they don’t understand or they don’t know anything. They use their brains more than adults use theirs. When a baby babbles, I truly belief that she is communicating in her own words. But the meaning is still the same. You ask the baby how was her day, and she will respond. Sometimes she continues babbling even when you want to ask a different question. Try listening to the tone and watch the facial expression. There is hurt there and sometimes frustration. But babies are very forgiving. Give them kisses and hugs, tell them that you love them, a big smile will quickly replace the frown.

Convince them you want to be with them as much as they want you around all the time. Just give whatever time you have for your kids and always be available for them. I might not be able to be around as much as I like to, but I am sure my daughter understands. I pray one fine day I will have as much freedom as the celebrity, and I can be with my daughter whenever I want to.

ps: I wonder why is it on Wednesdays that I have lots to say… hahaha…

Ignore the trolls

Troll (n) – In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic message in an online community…. (Source: Wikipedia: Troll)

There is a trend of blogging that many people adhere to these days. The blogger will post radical thoughts and comments. They are all provocative in manner. These are the bloggers that will be getting thousands of page hits; including thousands of hate mails and offensive comments. The readers will direct their hate towards what is being written and to the blogger.

Surprisingly, even after knowing such blogs post offensive topics to their virtue and sensitivity, the readers always come back for more, and leave yet another rebuttal in the comment section. Shows how much mental capacity these people have. The readers, I mean. It’s funny sometimes how some people try to out-troll the troll. And to people like me, we enjoy reading the comments more than the actual trolling. It provides a certain… un-healthy entertainment.

This type of bloggers will be so happy that you contribute to their page hits, and it’s a no wonder they are making money out of the haters.

All I can say is, if you don’t like what is being written, don’t read it. Ignore that the blog even exist. You might feel a certain need to act on justice, but justice cannot be done through force. Nor can it materialise through hate mails or vile words. And if after two or three comments the posts do not change in nature, just leave it. Let it be.

Some trolls provide the avenue for community bashing. This is especially true if you’re reading entertainment blogs. They post a picture of a certain singer or actors. These people are caught on picture doing something or wearing something which does not go well with the local community. And, Eureka! The hate comments will come flooding in. You get comments that is “hollier-than-thou” type. It’s sad.

I personally do not condone trolling activity. It is wrong to humiliate people, it is even more wrong to get people together to humiliate other people. You are being the catalyst, and you are not spreading positivity around. Use your writing talents for better things, to get people to work together.

Trolls will not be awaken if they are not provoked. Yes they are ugly and most of the time evil, but if you play their game, you’ll lose. Take the higher ground. Use a different bridge, build a new one if you need to. Just ignore the troll’s bridge and sooner or later, the troll will die. Alone.

[image googled]

Sydney Trip Recap

Baby Hana is an excellent travel buddy. Maybe it’s her age that makes her agreeable. Or maybe it’s her genuine sunny disposition. Or maybe she’s in tuned with the surrounding and knows that it’s only her and her Mommy travelling; so she goes easy on me. :-) Whatever the reason is, I am thankful and relieved that it went so well and needless to say, painless.

The flight time to Sydney coincide with her morning nap, so that’s a plus. Alhamdulillah. I nursed her immediately when I settled on my seat, while everybody else was boarding. My seat was an aisle seat, in the middle row. No, there was no bassinet. However, I highlighted to the FA and hoped for the best. I told her that I do not mind sharing the bassinet or if there’s none, at least an empty seat next to me. What I got was, both! She managed to secure a seat with bassinet and the seat next to me was unoccupied. Alhamdulillah. Flight was full with parents with toddlers and young children. And as what Sharky told me, most of them have exceed the requirement for getting bassinets. :-)

Baby Hana slept most of the time on the plane. I managed to catch two movies! Sometimes when I saw her turning her head left and right, I just massage her ears a bit, in hope that it might relief the discomfort. Maybe it did, because she settled to sleep again.

We didn’t went around much in Sydney. On Saturday after we arrived, The Hubby brought us to walk around the market in The Rocks near Circular Quay. On Sunday we went to Hyde Park and Darling Harbour. Then the next Saturday before we left, we went to the Taronga Zoo. Weekdays were spent indoors; Baby Hana had a little flu. That experience is priceless to me, because it really gave me the confidence that I can take care of my daughter on my own. :-)

Days were short, nights arrive early. The Hubby is a little disappointed that we could not go out for dinner. And sad for us because we didn’t get to sight seeing. Honestly, I did not mind at all, since my intention to go there was mainly to visit him and let Baby Hana get re-acquainted with her Bapak.

On the flight back, Baby Hana opted to be awaked most of the time and talk. Yes, talk. She smiled and laughed a lot. And sleep for half an hour or so every time. I think the longest was only about a little more than an hour.

The most radical changes that I noticed ever since we went to Sydney was her sleeping time; now she sleeps less during the day, short naps is more accurate to describe it. She sleeps longer during the night. She is also more conversational now. She gurgles and chuckles and smiles and laughs. She babbles a lot. Once, I think it was our second night in Sydney, she babbled to sleep! And The Hubby had it on record! Now, she can really sleep on her own. I can put her in bed, and let her go to sleep by herself.

My baby is growing up fast, and I am feeling my age more. And I wonder, when the next change will be. :-)

My 1st Wordless Wednesday

 

 

 

NOTE: All pictures and graphics from various internet sites. I don’t own them.

My Girlfriends…

Dudes you should stay away from:

1. Dude who wears Hawaiian shirt, with tight jeans and pointed shoes.
2. Dude in numero uno who walks pass you and say, “You’re looking lucky lady!”
3. Dude driving a 5-series, with one hand on the steering wheel, stopping at the traffic light waiting for you to cross even though the light is green for him, raising his eyebrows with sheepish smile. NOTE: He might just be the driver, picking up his boss at the next corner.
4. Dude with white pair of shoes, more so if they are pointed ones – I just distrust people with white shoes… they look like Casanovas. So, people say don’t judge the book by its cover, but first impression matters!
5. Dude who looks as if he didn’t take his morning shower – I personally like a man with a sense of style, looks polished, don’t you think so?
6. Dude who is smelly – hygiene is important y’all!
7. Dude who flashes his wealth; i.e. iPad2, Blackberry Torch, iPhone4, OMEGA wristwatch, etc., those might be the only things he has!
8. Dude who pays your first dinner with credit card.
9. Dude who is generous with praises. (Au contraire, a husband must be generous with praises for his wife… haha)
10. Dude who says, “thats mean”, and proceed to speak with an accent, especially when he was born outside of down under, the Queen’s land, and away from the cowboys. Yes I’m a bit snob about this.

The list could be longer, but these are the things that came to my mind for now. Just beware of superficial dudes. They might not be who they seem to be. Besides, we’re empowered women, we don’t need our men to furnish our lifestyles. Kan?

Her Routine

Baby Hana’s day is pretty much a routine these days. I know this might change anytime, especially during the growth spurts, but, at least for now, it’s more or less predictable. Just don’t interrupt her nap times, then she’ll be a little cranky. (I can see The Hubby smiling and say “sounds like someone I know…” :-p ).

02:30 Midnight Snack
02:45 Continue sleeping
04:30 Morning Feed
04:45 Continue sleeping
07:30 Breakfast
08:00 Bath
09:00 Morning nap
10:30 Snack time
10:45 Sleep
13:00 Lunch, change clothes
14:30 Afternoon nap
15:30 Snack time
16:00 Sleep
18:00 Dinner, bath
19:30 Nap
20:30 Supper
10:00 Sleep

Normally this schedule will have variations of 30 minutes to an hour. Baby Hana dictates it herself. And I accommodate her as long as her sleeping time at night is between 10pm to 11pm. If she sleeps at 11pm, she will skip the midnight snack at 2:30am. Even is she wakes up, it’s usually less than 5 minutes, feed a little and she just go back to sleep. She’ll continue sleeping even when I’m changing her diapers. :-)

I breastfeed her for breakfast, and sometimes after her bath where she just falls asleep. When I come back in the evening, that will be around 7pm I will usually breastfeed her before her nap. Night time is breastfeeding session all the way. She only takes EBM* from my mother. She will reject any attempt from me. I only managed to gave her EBM once, and that I believe was because she was too sleepy, too hungry to argue! Ha ha ha… She feeds about 3oz to 4oz during major feeds and 1oz to 2oz during snack time.

I normally express twice at work, and bring back around 8oz to 10oz everyday. Morning expression yields around 8oz to 10oz. Therefore, there is always about 16oz to 18oz at home. And I really belief that a mother produce what her child needs for a day. Because, regardless how much I bring back, it’s usually enough for Baby Hana for the day. My frozen stock, they are still frozen. She rejects thawed EBM and only take it when she’s really hungry. I do not plan to go outstation until she’s six months old. So, I belief we will be okay with the current arrangement. :-)

I plan to breastfeed her as long as I’m able to until she’s two years old. The Hubby pretty much let me decide on this, as he says it’s up to me. You can tell from this post that I’m an advocate of breastfeeding. As long as a woman is able to do it (special condition is exceptional), I belief she should. I know mothers who really love breastfeeding their children, but had to stop early either because the milk stop flowing or because of medical condition. I’m sure there is hikmah for everything, so must belief He knows what’s best for us. Don’t be sad.

Someone asked me how to increase milk production because hers is dwindling, and her child is younger than my daughter. I don’t do any special extra thing, I just make sure I drink a lot during the day, and drink milk (when I remember!), and watch what I’m eating. InsyaAllah.

* EBM – Expressed Breast Milk

Time for a new smarty?

The Hubby has asked me to replace my Motorola V9 since last year, but I always said that since I could not keep the phone when I leave the company, there is no point for me to buy. And besides, my V9 is still working fine.

One of my colleague is leaving for greener pastures this week. All the best to him! The rest of us are still searching and waiting. Good luck to us! He gets to keep the company phone and sim card. Of course the telco account will be transferred under his name.

This new development suddenly makes me browsing for a new smart phone. He he he…

I am a tech-lover. I used to be a tech-geek, to the extend being an unofficial advisor to my friends when they are looking for new mobile phones or laptops or PCs. I used to be well informed on the latest technology or software updates etc. These days, I just find out the information that I need when I need it. I haven’t heard about Android OS until two months ago, even then I was not intrigued to find out more about it. I didn’t really care about the iPhone until I started to use iPad in February. I am a BlackBerry user since early last year, but that was only because The Hubby is a user too; I can chat with him anywhere, anytime. Until today, I only have 15 people as my messenger contact, and I only chat “actively” with one third of them.

So, today, the moment my colleague told me the news, I started to look at HTC Desire Z. I don’t know why.

I am weighing the pros and cons. And I am also going to compare it with other Android based phones. And then I will decide. You have any suggestions? Let me know.

When The Baby Cries

I have not blogged for quite a bit. I started work after a long leave, and my boss gave me at least three major tasks to do. Well, three projects to be exact. Two of which more like a garbage cleaning activities. I am happy, to have something to do at work. And I believe I’ve proven that I have influence and do a great job, when I managed to call for a meeting that even my boss was unable to achieve.

Anyway, I am not blogging tonight to talk about me. More, as expected, I am going to talk about my daughter. I believe her separation anxiety comes very early. The first day I went back to work, she was already expecting me back home by 4p.m. This was because during the “trial” run, I left home around 10 a.m. and came back before she woke up from her afternoon nap. On that first day, I came back around 7p.m.

Thankfully, she was just sobbing a little and hugging me as tight as her little arms would allow. And I was able to console her quickly.

Today, however, she cried inconsolably. I arrived home about ten minutes before 8 p.m. I knew I would be late, when I could not drive 200 metres after 5 minutes. I called home and told my brother that I would be late. It took me about an hour to get her to calm down. An another hour for her to start smiling and communicating with me.

I could not stand listening her crying, it breaks my heart. But I guess, this is something that I will be facing until she really understands what’s going on and why her Mami could not be home at the same time everyday. I do my best to be home by 7p.m. every day.

My daughter always wake up with a smile in the morning. I don’t fancy her going to bed with a tear or a sob. I’ve only started to put her back into her cot at night since last weekend. She had been sleeping in the big bed since the first night The Hubby is away. I’ve gotten used having her beside me. But, I also know it is not right to change the habit that we have trained her since she came to us. Thankfully, there was no drama putting her back into her cot. I am tempted to have her sleep beside me tonight, out of guilt on my part. But, no, she is sleeping now, peacefully in her cot.

When people ask me, I am telling the truth by saying that she’s an angel baby. Easy baby. And by the book. Even Mak agrees that taking care of her is a breeze, until her routine is disturbed. For example when her sleep time is interrupted by visitors. Then, it will be a challenge to get her settled down again. Baby Hana sleeps through the night these days. She sleeps the 5-hour stretch and only wakes up once for her feed. The next feed will be in the morning, when the sun comes up. Alhamdulillah, it’s easy on me too.

Maybe I could not see how my eyes light up when I watch her, or how my voice gets a little excited when I talk about her. But it is true when people say you will only understand the feelings of a parent once you hold your baby in your arms. It’s surreal.

Owh, I still breastfeed her. I am not concerned that I don’t produce double digit ounce like other mothers. Because I believe that I produce enough for what Hana needs. I will blog about this another time. For now, I am to bed.

Hubby, I am missing you extra today.

My Baby is a Big Girl

Today, Baby Hana received her first set of shots. She handled it quite well, I should say. She cried, of course, but she calmed down soon after. Unlike the first appointment, when she was only 12 days, where she was inconsolable just by using voice and hugging. Of course, she was a lot smaller then. :-)

Doctor asked me to put Baby Hana on the bed. She said it’s safer, just in case I got nervous and dropped the baby! Ha ha ha… So, I put Baby Hana on the bed, and put my right hand on her chest and my left hand caressing her head. I spoke to her all the time, and recited doa for her. She got a little nervous when she caught the scent of the medicine. And when the doctor injected her, she cried. But she didn’t scream. So I kissed her forehead, and when the doctor said okay to do so, I picked her up quickly and hugged her tightly. She calmed down real quick, Alhamdulillah.

Mak and Abah was waiting outside. And Baby Hana already quieted down when we got out from the doctor’s office. Her next appointment will be in early May. I will have to see how our schedule look like during that time. If need be, I might take her for that appointment by end of April. And the doctor said she’s fit for travel. Yeay!

Baby Hana is now 55cm in length and weigh about 4.4kg. Not bad for a girl, eh? My baby girl is strong, healthy and a very good girl! And she’s growing up on me, so fast! I am a little afraid that I might miss something. I’m going back to work in a week. I hope I will stay connected, grounded and patient with her, however tired I am coming back home. There’s a challenge ahead of us, for Baby Hana and I. I pray we’ll get through it okay.

And, we are missing The Man in our lives so much! Muah muah!

Snippets

• On confinement: My confinement period ended last Sunday. Relieved, now that I can be out and about again. Being indoors is nice and comfy, but too long it’s starting to making me crazy… (Egad! It rhymes!)
• On spa holiday: It’s ending tomorrow. My last massage session with extra services; body scrub, flower bath, etc. As I see it, money well spent, insyaAllah. I feel healthier, fresher and more energetic. Alhamdulillah.
• On Mr. Hubby being away: I can’t belief it’s only been nine days! It feels like weeks already! How could this be? We chat every day. On Skype every day. On the phone every other day. But, of course it’s not enough! Missing him terribly. Last night when Baby Hana was restless going to sleep (she slept at almost 1 am! Only to wake an hour later for her night time feeding…), I really felt his non-presence. Usually when Baby Hana refuses to go to bed, Mr. Hubby will be the one comforting her. It was exhausting, but such an experience. Makes you treasure your spouse more!
• Yesterday, I went to JPN to replace my MyKad and collect Baby Hana’s birth certificate. Her birth cert was on-hold because my MyKad was in bad condition. Well, the part where my name and address are, that part of the sticker was torn. And it’s not of my doing! It’s because the card reader in JPN itself! And yet, I still had to pay RM10 for the replacement. :-p But I am not complaining, since Alhamdulillah, I managed to settle all things related to JPN within two hours! I am blessed for having helping hands around. By the way, I was surprised to see that birth cert these days are a huge A4 sized! Mine is one-third of that on landscape layout!
• My Spectra3 breast pump performed very well up to three times of usage. After that, the suction became weaker, and weaker. I was really disheartened and discouraged by it that I did not manage to stock-up the freezer. So yesterday, after a week of considering and mulling over it, I went to FabulousMom (same place I got the Spectra3) in TTDI and purchased Medela Freestyle. Yes, it is far more expensive, but I refused to be disappointed the second time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… While I was there, a customer called to complain that her Ameda breast pump is failing. And Ameda is not a cheapo brand too! I like the fact that Freestyle has 2-phase expression, the soft silicon breast shield and easy-to-adjust suction level.
• Mr. Hubby mistakenly took my 550D battery charger to Sydney. So yesterday too, I went and bought a third party charger. Got it for RM80 from the original price of RM200. The best part: It has in-car adapter and a warranty of one year! Yeay! Mr. Hubby said it’s a good buy!
• I am going back to work in two weeks time. Can’t say that I’m looking forward to it. Well, I look forward getting back to work, but not to the same company. :-( In fact, I went to two interviews during my confinement. Didn’t get the first one because they are looking for a more senior person since they are setting up a new project office. As for the second, I’m still waiting for the news. Although I felt that I didn’t do very well because it was as if I was sitting for the PMP exam all over again! I hope I get it thought. But Allah SWT knows best, eh? So, if He says that it’s best for me, then I’ll get it, insyaAllah. If I don’t, I will not stop looking for a new place. Reason: the current place cannot give me career advancement because it will always be a support center and the job will always be the same. Sad, but true. So, if you know anywhere that needs a Project Manager, do let me know.
• I DID get a job offer during my confinement. And it was with the company that I hoped to join since I was in the university. However, I had to turn the offer down because it is based in the Phillipines. Again, sad, but true. I guess Allah is giving me the chance to find out what I really want and need, so He send me options and let me muhasabah on my decisions and choices.
• Overheard my parents talking today. My cousin who’s working with one of Malaysia’s leading newspaper was given ticket (for her and the husband) to perform Umrah. So lucky to be His guests! I hope The Hubby and I will get the opportunity too! InsyaAllah.

First Night Without Him 2

The Hubby has safely arrived in Sydney yesterday evening. Another 3 months away…

This time, on the first night without him, I brought Baby Hana to sleep with me on the bed. It’s more for my sake, than hers. I think she had a restless night last night. She’s always sleeping soundly in her own cot, but when she’s sleeping in the big bed, she will wake up every hour. I do not know if it is psychic or psychology of her subconscious mind that is telling her mother is very near. So for tonight, she’s in her own bed.

Him being away this time, seems a little harder to me. Maybe it’s because we just been given a daughter. Maybe because it’s thousands of miles away as compared to last time. And maybe because this time, I will not be seeing him as often as when he was in Brunei last year.

Friends are saying I will get use to him being away. But to be honest, even when he’s gone for one night for his photography job, I feel his absence. Even when he’s away for the whole day for an assignment, I feel empty. So, how is it possible that I will get use to him being away for weeks or months? And frankly, I don’t think I want to get use to him being away. As much as it pains (?) me or makes me sad that he’s away, I’d rather feel the sadness than not feeling anything at all. Does this mean I’m the clingy sort? Erks?!!

Anyway, on the bright side of the story, it’s a great opportunity for him, and insyaAllah more rezeki for us. And everytime I feel a little melancholic, I will remind myself on our promise that we will not make the other person lose opportunities just so that we don’t feel sad. We will not hold the other person back from achieving what we could in life, at work or personally. Of course, everything has its place and time, and whatever decision that we make, it’s for the better, insyaAllah.

Three weeks ago, I turned down an opportunity, a possibly lucrative opportunity just after one phone call. But money is not everything in life. And with the new addition, my priorities have to be set correctly. Any opportunities, however promising and money-making, The Hubby and Baby Hana will have to come first. It’s not because I’m becoming less driven professionally, I just don’t believe in being driven at the expense of my loved ones. I’m still driven professionally, obviously, or I wouldn’t be actively looking for new position as I am now! He he he…

Well, I think I’m digressing. I am missing my soul mate. Thank God for Skype. Although it’s not the same, at least we can still look at each other and make faces! Okay, I make the faces… :-p I love you Boochi Boo!! Take care, mate!

The Forgotten Nursery Rhymes – Chapter 2

Are you familiar with this nursery rhyme? Sing a Song of Six Pence

Now, listen to the version in Malay… Lagu Tiga Kupang

Although, as I know it “Sagu Penuh Tepung” is actually “Saku Penuh Tepung”…

This is one of the old rhymes that we used to sing when we were little. We will act out the song too. It was so much fun. Now that we have a little girl in the house, all these songs are coming back to us. Sometimes, Mak will sing one. Other times it will be Abah.

What other nursery rhymes you remember?

My Confinement Story

CONFINEMENT. The very word suggests immobility, trapped, caged, etc. If you googled the word and look at the images returned, 90% of them are really, really sad.

I am almost through my third week of confinement. Today is the 20th day. In the first week, I was still weak from the hard work on the 11th, the idea of total rest and inactivity is totally welcomed. Starting from Monday, 14th of February, I began my massage therapy session. For the first week, I am a body that needs recuperating.

Second week came, and it started to get tough. Though we had our first taste of outdoor after twelve days of “house-arrest” it just left me with wanting for more of the polluted air! Ha ha ha… How exhilarating it was to be able to be out there, and feel normal again! Within this week, I got a little bit emotional, especially when people started to criticising that I’m cheating on my confinement.

The rule was, to wear socks day and night, to cover the head day and night, to wear sweater day and night. Initially I was okay with it, but the weather got too warm and I started to feel suffocated. I am eating meals with black pepper every day, day and night, combined with the humid weather it got too much. I didn’t realise I kicked off the socks while I was sleeping or let the head scarf loosen. I was supposed to block my ears with garlic, but I didn’t get around to doing that; it is said that it will expel wind from the body and to avoid post partum depression, or meroyan as known amongst the Malays. I had to sleep with 4 pillows under my head for the same reason. I tried, oh, I did my best, but my coccyx started to ache and the pressure was too much for my back. So, I took it upon myself to only use two pillows earlier than prescribed.

Into the third week, I started to make myself comfortable, and I believe Mak does not want to put too much pressure on me. For I have been eating right all the time, with few exception where I asked her permission to eat a little sambal goreng… I do my berganggang (sauna) every morning, I do the hot stone therapy (bertungku) every day even when Cik Yati does not come for massage session. Instead of wearing socks I use a pair of hotel slippers. I have decided that for me to get through this confinement period, I need to feel comfortable and relaxed. So, I’m changing my mindset; My confinement period is my spa holiday and the time to bond with my beautiful daughter. It is working well so far.

What’s also helping is my massage sessions, which are continuous throughout the confinement period. I have 18 sessions altogether and have completed nine sessions so far. I’m also taking herbal drink at every meal; akar kayu that taste like tea without sugar. Luckily I’ve been sugarless tea drinker for quite some time (green tea, chinese tea, floral tea) so this herbal tea is just like one of those. I’m taking herbal pills too, three times a day. And every morning, I drink a shot of turmeric juice with a dollop of honey. Yummehhh!!! My tummy, hands and legs are also covered with herbal concoction in the morning, not to mention pilis for the forehead. I am allowed to remove the residue once they are dried. A plus, coz need to kiss my hubby before he goes to work, kan?

When I weighed myself at the doctor’s office last week, I have actually lost 8kg! 6kg more and I’ll be at my pre-pregnancy weight! When I look at my pictures during the first week, my face was so pale. But now, I can see the difference, my lips are getting redder (surprise!) and my skin is brighter. My tummy, is getting smaller and smaller every day, I know for sure because the corset (bengkung) I’m wearing is getting narrower every day. Mak has to alter the bengkung to make it smaller. And this is only after 15 days! So, whoever says that pantang is an old wives’ tale, they better get their facts checked.

All in all, my confinement is not so bad, as long as I don’t entertain the need to be out and about. The food, I’m loving it. I have baked fish, baked chicken, poached fish, all served with sour sauce. They are all cooked with black pepper, ginger and garlic. All my favourites! Only thing is, I miss eating spicy food, but apparently I can still eat curry (cooked with milk, not coconut milk), so seriously, confinement food, they are not bad at all! I’m following the rules where I cannot eat beans, potato, anything watery or windy, etc. So the only vege that I can take is sawi, pak choy, and their siblings.

I have 25 days left. 25 because I delivered Baby Hana at night. I’m determined to loose all the pregnancy weight, at least. Get healthier and be more vibrant. So I can take care of The Hubby and Baby Hana. :-)

The Forgotten Nursery Rhymes

These are two of the old nursery rhymes sang by my late Tok (Penang grandmother) long time ago…

Cak cekuq
Udang gamit
Mintak cekuq
Bagi kunyit

Nyai nyai bo
Gendang jawa
Masak buboq
Panggil saya

These rhymes are accompanied by hand gestures. For the first one, is opening and closing your fist while reciting the rhyme. The second one is waving your open palm back and forth, gracefully, to the second rhyme.

One very familiar nursery rhyme is sang while clapping your hands together:

Pok amai amai
Belalang kupu-kupu
Pok <insert child’s name here> pandai
Nanti upah susu

From my Nenek in Malacca, two rhymes sang when a child has knock himself/herself and cried;

Tungku tangkal panjat pintu
Orang nakal memang begitu

Tungku tangkal panjat peran
Orang nakal memang tak jeran

The idea is to sing these rhymes to make the pain go away, while being a bit sarcastic at the same time. Ha ha ha…

There is one more that I am not familiar with. Mak asks me to check with my Mak Long for the correct words. Once I got it, I will post it here.

11 days later

I was not a beautiful elegant lady during and after the birth. My face was void of blood, my eyes were puffy, my legs were swollen. The epidural made my legs heavy, ponstan was making me lethargic. Now I understand why French women have their magic potion ready by bedside to be used after the long hours of labor. Clarins has one of those, it’s called Flash Beaute. I had planned to get it, but it slipped my mind once I’m settled at my parents’ abode.

Looking back at my picture with The Hubby and Baby Hana at the hospital, although there was smile on my face, it will always remind me of the experience in the labor room; The Hubby’s face of helplessness, the sharp jarring pain, The Doctor’s encouraging voice, the nurses worried faces, my mom’s anxious looks, then the moment Baby Hana was put on my tummy with The Doctor reciting the Iqamah, Baby Hana’s first cry, Hubby’s voice in my ear while the etonox muddled the pain of being stitched up, The Hubby’s grip on my hand while we watch our baby being examined… The images will flood my mind one after another, overlapping between before and after.

Yes, I did not have an easy first birth. I know some people do. The saying about having big bottoms will have easy birth, it’s a myth. I have big butt (and I’m not lying about it) but well, you know the story. Haih, I hope my story doesn’t scare any mothers-to-be as it’s an experience no women should deny if they have the chance to it.

Let me tell you, the feeling once it was all over. When Baby Hana was put on my tummy, the feeling is indescribable. For me, it was almost similar to the day when The Hubby accepted the aqad. The way you look at this little thing suddenly changed. For 9 months all I could see was a projected image on the screen and pieces of printed photo, but now, here she is. A living, breathing little person, and I cannot help but cried a little. She is so small and she is totally dependant on people around her to love her, to care for her. At the end of the day, all the pain are totally worth it. I did not cry once while I was in pain, but I could not stop the tears when I look at my daughter.

I have a husband. And I have a daughter.

I am still, after one year of marriage marveling at the fact that someone is willing to share his life with me. It still bring tears of humility and happiness whenever I think about it. And now I have another miracle bestowed upon me. My very own child. Every time I look at her, all trusting and full of wonders, I could not help but thank Allah for giving me this chance. I don’t mind if this is the only one, for I am determine to raise her right, insyaAllah. Quality over quantity, that’s my take.

Tomorrow is our first check-up with the doctors after the delivery. I’m so looking forward to be out there, and breathe the polluted air! Ha ha ha… Baby Hana has appointment with her paed, I hope she will stay an angel that she is. He he he… wishful thinking eh?

Owh, my next post I guess, will be about this confinement period and how I’m handling it. ;-)

The Birth Story

I better start writing this while it is still fresh in my mind. I do not want to lose any detail of this first time. This experience also reminded me on how you can wish and pray for something, but Allah SWT will always have a better plan for you. And you must redha and be thankful. Always.

Thursday, 10/02/2011

We went for check-up, prepared to be admitted that evening. Doctor said I was 2cm dilated and very soft, which means it will be anytime from there on. She said if I don’t deliver the next day, it will be over the weekend. So, it was up to me if I wanted to be induced on Friday. The Hubby let me decide although later on he said he was not yet prepared mentally. :-) Truth be told, if I really think about it, I was not ready neither.

We went back, holding hands in the car, hearts beating furiously, at least for me. The Hubby had to go back to the office. I started to feel pain once or twice every hour that night. And every time the pain came, I would be quiet suddenly. Sometimes, the pain came every 15 minutes. But we made it through the night without having to rush to the ER.

Friday, 11/02/2011

The D-day. We went to Tawakal Hospital early, straight to the admission counter. All rooms were full so I was ushered straight to the labour room. There’s no turning back. It was almost 10 am. The nurse prep me quickly, change of clothes, a chair in front of the toilet door, and few minutes later, it’s heart beating fast waiting for the doctor. Mak was waiting outside the labour ward since only husbands were allowed in. At this moment, I could still smile and joking with The Hubby. I think he took one picture of me, all smiles.

Doctor came at almost noon. While she was examining me, my water broke. So, doctor, with confidence told me that she’ll give it four to six hours. The pain with capital P came after noon. I overcame hurdle after hurdle. It started to peak at around 3pm. I could not watch The Hubby’s face, because I could see how helpless he felt. He wanted to help to massage me, but I said no, he wanted to talk to me and I just wanted quiet, he kept asking me to tell him what he could do for me and all I can say was “there’s nothing you could do for me now, sayang” which I know broke his heart even more. I believed he did not stop praying and making dua’ all the time. Doctor came again at 4pm and asked me again if I really do not want epidural, which I replied in positive. Doctor left. Nurse came in and checked the CTG, she looked a little worried and told me The Baby’s heartbeat was a little erratic. She said it was because I was stressed and The Baby is feeling it too. Nurse said not to worry about taking epidural since almost everyone is taking it, including her. I told her I just don’t want drugs on my baby and again came the familiar statement that the medication does not effect the baby. She left me to decide, and I looked at The Hubby.

Hubby again left it up to me, because he knows how strongly I feel about the matter. In the end, I decided to take it, because I do not want to risk The Baby. When the nurse came to explain about epidural, I just told her that, skip the explanation and just go ahead and do it. Ha ha ha… I think the nurse was taken aback, but at the moment, I was only thinking of The Baby. When the anesthetist came to administer the epidural, I was oblivious to everything, my eyes were closed to overcome the next wave of pain. He tried to administer while I was lying down on my side but could not, so he asked the nurse to sit me up and bent forward. The Hubby had to wait outside while all these being done. The effect was immediate. I felt cold a moment, and then, no pain. But I felt the urge to pass motion from time to time, and that was my trigger for pushing.

The epidural was administered at 5pm. I was fully dilated by 7pm, but The Baby is still nowhere near being delivered. Doctor came and said if by 8pm no change, I will have to go for C-sect. I felt really sad at that time, and it pushed me to work even harder, although I do not know how much harder could I add to the push. I felt I had given all I can. I was asked to lie on my left side, and push when the urge to do so came. That’s what I did, non-stop.

Doctor came in at 8pm and told us there is a final attempt for a normal delivery. Which is to vacuum the baby out. While doctor was explaining and preparing, I kept on pushing whenever I felt the urge. On one of the push, The Doctor said that she could see The Baby’s hair and in the midst of it, I actually asked for clarification, “Baby has hair?” and all eyes were on me. He he he… I heard The Doctor said a while later that she’s going to do a little cut on me and during that time, I do not care that I did not want episiotomy either. I just want The Baby delivered safely. On one of the push, suddenly The Baby was on my tummy and I just could not believe what I was looking at. She was a little blue because she was stucked too long in the birth canal. The birth was difficult because she was facing up.

Alhamdulillah, after all that, my beautiful baby girl, Hana, was delivered at 8:27pm on 11th February 2011.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter I did not get a drug free birth experience or sans episiotomy, all that matter is that my daughter was delivered safely and she’s a healthy baby.

She is 7 day-old today. We will do a little doa selamat session amongst us, and The Hubby will shave her head. InsyaAllah her Aqiqah is already administered by EzyQurban today.

Thank you to all of you who prayed for us, for our safety, for our health. We are forever thankful. After all that, I do believe, that we, The Hubby, Baby Hana and I are really blessed. Thank you Allah.

Going into 40th Week

I have been staying at home for the past two weeks. Doctor has given me the medical leave just so that I can rest at home instead of lugging the 3kg laptop around with already 12kg added to my mid area. Still, The Baby is contented to be inside, although occasionally I feel the familiar pain that I went through almost every month before I got pregnant.

Our next check-up will be on this Thursday. Two weeks ago, The Doctor did my first vaginal examination (VE). It was really uncomfortable and foreign to me. I seriously cannot imagine having a male doctor poking around like that! Few days after that, I had a little bloody show. But come last Wednesday for follow-up check up, The Baby is still quite high, and still facing up. I sincerely hope by this Thursday The Baby has turned to face backwards, getting ready to come out. I don’t think the doctor will allow us to go overdue as The Baby is already 3kg plus. I believe, if it’s possible for me to be induced, I will be and, with Allah’s will, The Baby will be born safely and healthily by Friday.

I’m surrounding myself with positive vibes and positive quotes. I would like to go through labour without having to resort to drugs and deliver the baby without the episiotomy. I would also like to deliver naturally and not through C-sect. My prayers and wishes, hopefully Allah SWT will grant it. Ameen.

Today I vacuumed the room, changed the bed sheet and washed the toilet. Ha ha ha… People say it will indirectly induce labour. I’m hoping. But truthfully, I can feel The Baby is taking her own sweet time, it’s like telling people, “I’ll be there when I want to”. Ha ha ha… Well, darling, don’t take too long ya, because I don’t want The Doctor or the nurses to be impatient and decide it for you. It’s almost 40 weeks, and it IS time for you to come out, so make your move. This is your MOTHER speaking. Why? Because I said so. We’ll talk about options and your ways once you’re out here. But for now, follow the rules.

I’m doing squats as fast and as much as I can. I got really really hyped up after watching this video:

Hopefully I will be able to do the routine once I’m done with my confinement. ;-)