First Night Without Him 2

The Hubby has safely arrived in Sydney yesterday evening. Another 3 months away…

This time, on the first night without him, I brought Baby Hana to sleep with me on the bed. It’s more for my sake, than hers. I think she had a restless night last night. She’s always sleeping soundly in her own cot, but when she’s sleeping in the big bed, she will wake up every hour. I do not know if it is psychic or psychology of her subconscious mind that is telling her mother is very near. So for tonight, she’s in her own bed.

Him being away this time, seems a little harder to me. Maybe it’s because we just been given a daughter. Maybe because it’s thousands of miles away as compared to last time. And maybe because this time, I will not be seeing him as often as when he was in Brunei last year.

Friends are saying I will get use to him being away. But to be honest, even when he’s gone for one night for his photography job, I feel his absence. Even when he’s away for the whole day for an assignment, I feel empty. So, how is it possible that I will get use to him being away for weeks or months? And frankly, I don’t think I want to get use to him being away. As much as it pains (?) me or makes me sad that he’s away, I’d rather feel the sadness than not feeling anything at all. Does this mean I’m the clingy sort? Erks?!!

Anyway, on the bright side of the story, it’s a great opportunity for him, and insyaAllah more rezeki for us. And everytime I feel a little melancholic, I will remind myself on our promise that we will not make the other person lose opportunities just so that we don’t feel sad. We will not hold the other person back from achieving what we could in life, at work or personally. Of course, everything has its place and time, and whatever decision that we make, it’s for the better, insyaAllah.

Three weeks ago, I turned down an opportunity, a possibly lucrative opportunity just after one phone call. But money is not everything in life. And with the new addition, my priorities have to be set correctly. Any opportunities, however promising and money-making, The Hubby and Baby Hana will have to come first. It’s not because I’m becoming less driven professionally, I just don’t believe in being driven at the expense of my loved ones. I’m still driven professionally, obviously, or I wouldn’t be actively looking for new position as I am now! He he he…

Well, I think I’m digressing. I am missing my soul mate. Thank God for Skype. Although it’s not the same, at least we can still look at each other and make faces! Okay, I make the faces… :-p I love you Boochi Boo!! Take care, mate!