Too much of nothing

When I feel suffocated by all that's happening around me, by people who impose too much, expect too much, talk too much, when everything that I do or say seem to make things worse, when events are not to my expectation and things don't go my way, I just drop everything.

I would switch on the TV, eyes on the set but not watching neither hearing. I would open a book and read and turn the pages without knowing what I read. I would drive aimlessly, arriving at an unplanned destination. Then I would walk blindly expecting other people to move away. I would eat an expensive meal without appreciating the taste.

In short, I leave the real world and get on the limbo haze. Or I would just sit down and watch the paint dry or stare to nothingness.

Luckily this situation don't happen very often. One day I might find myself walking into the wall!

Escapism. That's what it is. But it's temporary. Because by the end of this therapeutic ride I will still face the world. Except this time I would be at a stage where I can see the situation two steps away, without getting too emotional. But sometimes, it backfires. Well, you can't really have everything go your way everytime, can you?

Sometimes, it's just too much to handle. I just want to let go and let nature take its course. But I can't. So I limn the life that I want in my mind, visualising it, trying to make it a reality. Sometimes I succeed, other times I'm subdued. But that's way the world go round, isn't it?