Lovers and Strangers Revisited by Robert Raymer

As the title suggested. Revisited. Originally released in 1993, the author wrote from his own experiences and observations. Some were factual, others fictions. You'll have a hard time to guess which is which.

There is no doubt a significant difference from the Malaysia that was observed by Raymer more than 10 years ago, than the Malaysia that we know now. Nonetheless the clash of civilisations and the wariness of different cultures remain a constant still.

One story, Mat Salleh, about a Malay lady who is married to an American man (I’m sure this is from Raymer’s personal experience as he was married to a Malay lady before) tells us how public display of affection (PDA) even between a married couple is considered a taboo. The fact that the wife had to check if anyone is looking to give the husband a peck on the cheek just irritates me. A lot. But of course, we have moved to a more ‘understanding’ lot, therefore we see more PDA nowadays. Regardless whether it’s from a married couple or not (a word of caution though, you might be fined for it).

In the same story, Raymer pointed out how out of place a Malay society feels when given a compliment. Because we are lacking in verbalising our appreciation, thus it becomes awkward. Again, we see improvement in this as well.

Neighbours is another story that caught my fancy. People living in the same area, know each others’ names always take the extra mile to know what’s going on in other people’s household. However, shouldered with a responsibility to do the ‘right’ thing, everyone shrugs off. Push the duty away to the next person. This has not changed much.

Lovers and Strangers also go deeper in touching the side of our community which is swept under the carpet. We barely acknowledge them out of fear or embarrassment or plain hypocrisy. It’s part of being a Malaysian.

VERDICT: Read It!