August 6, 2008

Sharing is Caring?

I believe that CapalPerak and I have come to the next stage of our relationship. It has something to do with sharing your partner with the family members.

For almost two years I sorta have him all to myself. Minus the days or nights he's out with his friends and my being back at my parents'. And minus the times we are at work or at our respective abodes. Other than that we're basically attached to the hip like Siamese twins.

It has been two months now since his sister starts staying with him. Things have change a little bit. Some of the outings are shared. There are times when we are unable to do the things that we always do together. Basically, we are in the adjusting period. He's a good man, very family oriented. And I love that about him. While I grew up with the same thinking, I also value my privacy highly.

So one night, I told him this. I shared my feelings and thoughts. And you know what? He said he understands. And he realises the changes the both of us have to adapt to. We are learning. And I have to admit, I have difficulty in the beginning sharing my thoughts and feelings for fear of hurting his feelings, for fear of him getting annoyed or angry. This phobia has to do with my errmmm... past experience which I shall not say more. CapalPerak would be more annoyed if I don't tell him what I disagree about what he's doing!

So I value this learning curve. This period of getting comfortable with each other. It has been almost two years, and the learning has not stop. I know there will be a lot more to come. It will never stop.

This morning in Fly FM, during the Fix-It slot, a couple who just gotten to know each other for 3 months wants to get married; the parents are okay but most of the relatives and friends are skeptical. So the discussion was on whether or not it's okay to settle down after three months or should the couple stretch the courting period.

All the callers gave brilliant insights, some okay with the short period, some say should wait for two years. But who's to say what's the right duration to really get to know a person? One lady caller said that she got engaged within one month of getting to know the hubby and they have now been married for 8 years. It's true when they say that if the person accepts you 100% for who you are and love you because you are you, then that's the right person to settle down with.

And mostly I believe that parents' blessings are the most important. Without which your relationship will not sail happily. Friends and relatives? Their advice can be heard and pondered on, but never should they intefere or dictate where the relationship should go. And I repeat, who has the right to determine when the honeymoon period should be over anyway? I believe as long as both partners are willing to put effort in elongating the mooshy wooshy feeling, the honeymoon period will never be over. It's a matter of choice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

be patient during the learning curve.. it takes time..