Restless Is I

Something is not right with me. I'm restless.

A lot of things are going on at work. Confusing stuff floating around personal issues. Childish thoughts. Laziness. Unknown unfinished businesses. Debts to pay. Getting rich methods. The direction I'm supposed to head to. I am just RESTLESS!!

My mood changes in a blink of an eye. I wanted to be left alone. Then I want to be in a crowd. Then I want to get cozy. Then I just want to be on my own. It has nothing to do with the time of the month. No.

Maybe I am a commitment phobic. All the things I've said, suggestions that I gave, they are a hell lot tougher to be put into action by myself. I do not want to be tied down, at least not yet. I don't think I'm ready just yet. It takes a lot of effort because you have the obligation to make the other person happy.

I hate not knowing what to do next. Or more apt, hate knowing that I know what's the right thing to do next, except that I've got not enough guts to follow through. Life is not complicated. I am. Maybe I'm fickle, but girls are supposed to be that way, right? Darn it.

Kak Mas SMSed me this morning on a potluck we're having this Saturday. I am so looking forward to it. I need to be with different crowd at this moment. I just need to get away. The need is so great that I feel like eating Maggi Mi right this very second.

Something just don't feel right. And I need to figure it out on my own.