Come and get me - Part 1

I am going to share with you my thoughts on courting women. What I wrote here is in my own reflection. They might not be applicable to some ladies out there, but I believe the basic principles are the same. You might just want to tweak here and there to suit the situation/woman you're with.

Here it goes, in no particular order.

1. Inopportune Criticism

While good advise are most welcomed, it should be when no one else is around to hear it. For example, never comment how the pasta sauce could be thicker or the chicken should've been baked longer in front of her family and friends. You might want to wait when everyone has gone back OR when you're excusing yourself to help her in the kitchen.

2. Beauty is you

Tell her she's beautiful even if you have to choke it, even if it means you'll be strike by the lightning for lying through your teeth. Any girl loves to hear that from the man she loves/likes any time of the day. When she's not in her Miss World state, believe me, she knows that. She just want to hear the words, and even though she knows you're lying, she'll still hug you and know you're being really nice and adorable. By the way, never ever ask her about the callous under her foot in front of her girlfriends. Major faux pas.

3. Go fishing and play kite

Have you gone fishing before? You know you have to play the line; tug it, let it go, tug it, let it go. Or when you're playing the kite, at times you pull at it and then you let it fly high and far. Same thing applies to women. She wants to be close to you one moment and the next she wants to be left on her own. She needs her "me" time. Too much of you can be choking. Too less, well, she knows then you don't need her.

4. Hen night, anyone?

You know the expression, "I'm stagged tonight"? Well, we can't really say "I'm henned", that's just wrong. The understanding is, you have your boys night out, so we have our girls night out. Simple as that.

5. In-dependence

She needs to be both at different or the same time. She needs to be independent so she can be in control. She also needs to be able to depend on you so she can feel loved and cared for. She will give the signal when is which. When she says "no" that means leave her be. When she looks at you with her round soulful eyes, you know you have to hug her then.

6. Distress call

A phone call in the middle of the night is always a distress call. It's either she needs to hear your voice because she misses you (or your voice can lull her to sleep) or she needs you to pick her up from a late night out with friends or she just got mugged. You have to pick up this call and drop everything you're doing to tend to her. It shows you care. It shows she has value in your life. This will score major points.

7. Indulgence

It is expected for you to wine and dine the lady you profess to have feelings for. Not always, though because then it will not be special. It will just be a chore. Special dates and events like birthdays and anniversaries are VITAL of course; totally expected. But most appreciated would be unexpected gestures. Therefore, surprise her every now and then. This also applicable to gifts and presents. It's not how much you spend that matters, most of the time. Although pricey ones will fall under "unexpected gestures".

8. Communication

Amongst all, this will be the most important part. Any relationship counselor will say the same. Tell her your grand dreams, ask her hers. Talk about politics, or books, or history, current events, anything. It shows you value her points and insights. It's saying you respect her intelligence. Communicate.

9. Be "The Man"

Your childish antics might be adorable at times. But she's looking for "The Man". You might not be "The One"; this means everything she listed in her "To Have" list. By being "The Man" you have some of the qualities she is looking for. You will know this by looking at her reaction. If she grimaces, that means a no-no. You have to play your cards right. The adorable mummy's boy might not be wanted in a certain situation. She might need you to be James Bond or Preston Burke. Think wisely.

10. Trust

You have to trust she can take care of herself. You have to believe when she says she likes you, she does. You have to accept when she says the other guys she's seeing are just friends. Trusting her is important, because she's trusting you with her heart too. If you're taking a risk, so is she. Jealousy is nice to a certain extent.

I shall stop here. I may add this list from time to time. Depends. May you get a kick out of this, ladies. And may you are enlightened, gentlemen.