Of kuih and Wimbledon

I'm having trouble to upload pictures... My IE is crazy. The other day, I turned on the pop-up blocker, and then switched it off. Now, everytime I click on the picture icon to upload picture, the window just doesn't open properly. :-p Even Google mail is complaining that a pop blocker is on duty!

Anyway today I want to write about kuih bantal peluk. Or you would actually know them by the name kuih dadar or kuih ketayap. Now, that's what I don't understand. It doesn't look like ketayap at all! But it definitely looks like a bolster. Betul tak? But whatever you call it, I like them very much. I can eat one after another non-stop. Of course, I'll stop when it's finished or if I feel full. Really full. Yummy. I just had one of those this morning.

Have any of you watched Wimbledon? The movie. Not the game. It's a very sweet, straight forward movie. And I like it very much. I've never fancied blonde guys before but I kinda like the actor. I mentioned this to my soul sis, and she said, "That's Silas from Da Vincci Code lah.." and I went... "huh? ohh.. okay... patut la macam kenal..." Duhhh... I can be so blur. Well, the fact that I don't know his real name, Paul Bettany, just make it worse. No wonder he looked so familiar in Wimbledon. Anyway, I think he's a good actor. His characters just come out alive.

Yesterday, I went to a client's office with my sales manager. He was driving. Well, I don't know if he was trying to prove that his Vios is powerful and much better than a City or what, but he was speeding like nobody's business. He did mention much earlier that the car can easily reach top speed. And he also said that he is used to drive at 120km/h. Kinda bragging a bit too. And he was cilok-ing like a race car driver too. I tried very hard not to clam my feet. And in fact managed an insouciant attitude. That just made him sped more I guess. Duhh... I was glad when he let me down at the main entrance of the office building. I felt like kissing the ground and actually thank God that I was still in one piece.

See, I like speed. When I'm driving. And if I'm not driving, when I know the driver really well and am confident with the way the person drives. I've never really talked with my sales manager before and this is the first time I was driven by him. If I looked a bit pale yesterday, no one can blame me. It did feel as if I was on a roller coaster, minus the rolling. Thank God for that.

UPDATE 6/7/2006 : managed to upload the picture... hehehe..

101st Post

I watched Wicker Park last night.

I wonder how it feels like to love and be loved the way Matt and Lisa did.

I'm an idealist. I'm inclined to believe that such love exists.

I'm a romantic. I believe there are real-life fairytales. Of happy ever after.

Don't get me wrong, relationships are never smooth. That I know and accept. What I mean is that such unconditional love and trust do exist. Don't they?

These past few days I find myself wanting to belong. Hmm... As such, this is a dangerous period to be going out with people who are only looking for fun at the moment. I might get too engrossed in the way I feel I'd hurt myself. :-p

-----------------------

On a lighter note. I think the BodyBalance® classes are really doing me good. I've been attending diligently for the past two weeks, and I found my concentration increases. I also found that I'm actually quite flexible in some of the twisting, crouching, bending positions. Balancing just getting better. Strength... Still have to work on that. I just love this class...

Rude? Moi? Naaaaah...

Making my way downtown

Walking fast Faces pass

And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way Making a way

Through the crowd

And I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time would pass me by

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight

....

I was smiling when this song was played. On my way to work this morning. I always tersengih when I hear this song. Eversince White Chicks. Really, really funny movie. The Wayans brothers really make good movies/series.

At the same time, I was also thinking about this article in NST yesterday as pointed out by Fatihah. And let me list down some of the rude things I observed while driving this morning.

• She wants to change lane. But her indicator light was not blinking. I couldn't possible read her mind, could I? (Of course, I could just slowed down and let her squeezed in, but I opted to be oblivious. As usual.) So what did she do? She sped a bit and squeezed-in two cars ahead. Without her indicator light blinking.
• "Halo Aunty! Make up your mindlah which lane you want to use!" That was me. The aunty in front of was in the middle of two lanes. And I actually honked. Yes, I was rude. :-p
• He came from no where and squeezed in his ENORMOUS car from left most lane to right most lane. Congratulations!
• As usual the ever long-life bikers.

Other than those, the morning drive was fine. Oh.. Oh... Another thing. Do you ever read those electronic billboard which supposedly to assist us on the traffic? This morning (which I'm pretty sure every morning is the same) the billboard read "Kesesakan biasa di jalan ....." Now... kesesakan biasa. How could that be helpful? Anyway, it's because traffic congestion has become a day-to-day event in our lives, it has become a norm. And i find suggestion as "... sila ikut laluan alternatif ..." is so hypocritical. There is no alternative routes that are not congested as well. I'm sure if our cars can morfed itself to be come a flying car, that's an alternative. Okay, this babble has taken a ridiculous turn. Let's just stop right there.

Driving in KL is adventurous I would say. Sometimes you can just seem to enjoy the ride. People always want to rush in the end without realising it, you're rushing to. Even if you don't need to. Honestly, I really like to go around by metro. Eceh macam la pernah pi France. :-p By train. By 'em LRTs. And buses. It's a great way to see the town. To see people. But it's just too much hassle.

You see, I can take the monorail to work. To achieve that, I have to wake up one hour earlier for the journey. If you remember in my previous post, I mentioned my office is 15 minutes drive away. Now, I have to either take the bus, or drive to the LRT station. I can also drive straight to KL Sentral, within 10 to 15 minutes. Then I take the monorail, spend probably about 15 minutes more for the ride. And then walk for about 10 minutes to the office. Now, tell me. What should I do really? Should I drive that 15 minutes drive, or should I venture into the jungle and spend an hour to get to the office? Oh.. not to mention there'll be rude commuters around!

I used to take the train during my post university years. Right after graduation. Going to work. Basically, to get into the train, or out of the train, I do not have to walk/move. I just stand there. I'd get pushed in, and pushed out. Walla! According to my friend, it has not changed much. After five years.

Let's talk about the treatment we get from service people. They treat expats EXTRA nicely. No wonder the foreigners always say that Malaysians are friendly and nice. They are duped. We are still colonised. Because we feel the need to be extra nice to the foreigners when in fact they are just visiting! The locals, the people around you are the ones who fill up your pockets nicely. Treat THEM extra nicely.

Let's agree. We are rude. In so many ways. Some of us are just too hypocrite to admit it.

Lovers and Strangers Revisited by Robert Raymer

As the title suggested. Revisited. Originally released in 1993, the author wrote from his own experiences and observations. Some were factual, others fictions. You'll have a hard time to guess which is which.

There is no doubt a significant difference from the Malaysia that was observed by Raymer more than 10 years ago, than the Malaysia that we know now. Nonetheless the clash of civilisations and the wariness of different cultures remain a constant still.

One story, Mat Salleh, about a Malay lady who is married to an American man (I’m sure this is from Raymer’s personal experience as he was married to a Malay lady before) tells us how public display of affection (PDA) even between a married couple is considered a taboo. The fact that the wife had to check if anyone is looking to give the husband a peck on the cheek just irritates me. A lot. But of course, we have moved to a more ‘understanding’ lot, therefore we see more PDA nowadays. Regardless whether it’s from a married couple or not (a word of caution though, you might be fined for it).

In the same story, Raymer pointed out how out of place a Malay society feels when given a compliment. Because we are lacking in verbalising our appreciation, thus it becomes awkward. Again, we see improvement in this as well.

Neighbours is another story that caught my fancy. People living in the same area, know each others’ names always take the extra mile to know what’s going on in other people’s household. However, shouldered with a responsibility to do the ‘right’ thing, everyone shrugs off. Push the duty away to the next person. This has not changed much.

Lovers and Strangers also go deeper in touching the side of our community which is swept under the carpet. We barely acknowledge them out of fear or embarrassment or plain hypocrisy. It’s part of being a Malaysian.

VERDICT: Read It!

Hmm... Really?

Frankly, I don't believe men's hearts bleed. A gay man yes. A straight man? Ha ha ha. Gelakkan mereka!

A heartbroken woman?
Yes.
A heartbroken straight man?
WOOOOOO I just saw two pigs fly.
Oink oink oink oink.


Now, you have to understand that this is not a man-bashing post. I just find the above remarks by Dina Zaman really… entertaining.

Why do men have to be gay to be sensitive? I really don’t get that. Is it so awful to be in touch with your softer side? Work with me on this. Although some may say that this is just a waste of time, but I will like to put the record straight. Of course with your help. It’s merely a little quest of understanding each other better.

At the end, we might not agree with each others’ opinion, but we could always agree to disagree and find a common ground some where. So, shall we?

Men, generally, refused to be known for their… ability to be lovey-dovey. Consequently to date we have several different groups of men. So far, to my limited circle of friends, they can be grouped to the following:

• Men – Men in this group are known for their kick-ass attitude. The cry game doesn’t work here. It is said that these are the ‘real’ men. (Duhh...)
• Metrosexuals – This group of people take good care of their appearances. They might be mistaken for the next group. They are also known for their gentlemanly behaviours. Some could be too clingy.
• Gays – These are the ‘happy’ people. They definitely take good care of themselves. Easily bumped into at your local health clubs. Some are easily recognized for their… look-at-me-I’m-gay attitude. Some will be easily mistaken to be straight.
• Softies – They are not homosexuals. They are just overly in-touched with their softer nature. It could be annoying at times. Most of the times they talk too much.

Most of my lady friends would be glad to date metrosexuals. Nothing gives us more pleasure than to be seen with someone who, if not handsome, takes good care of his appearance. You see, looks department are not really compulsory. Metrosexuals can be good listeners, so it’s very refreshing to be able to have ‘meaningful’ conversation with them. They listen to us whining. They might be cringing inside, but they are too gentlemen to say “shut the trap, woman!” Of course, they do it subtly, by offering advises that consequently shut us up. On the bright side, men who fall in this category do not mind intelligent women. However, they also most of the times think that they are too good for certain people. You see, they have this I’m-far-above-you attitude.

Men in men group mostly are traditionalist. Although women welcome the macho side of a men, but being patriarchal is not a turn-on factor. They like their woman to listen, and not talk back, do the housework and serve them. Only. They are the I’m-the-king-you’re-my-subjects people. Some of them turn out to be alright, others should be locked in asylum. There are women who do not mind to be on the receiving end all the time. Being instructed day-in-day-out. Women who are easily contented. Or just plain lazy to think and let the men do everything. Women who choose to keep the peace and not stir the otherwise calm water.

I shall not talk about gays and softies. One is too clinical the other; let’s just say I prefer my man to protect me, not the other way around.

To say that all straight men don’t feel heartbroken might be too extreme. I’m diplomatic that way. However, most of them move on very easily. They could be breaking up today, but seen with another girl tomorrow, and the next thing you knew they are already a couple. Women on the other hand, tend to linger longer when it comes to the matters of the heart. Maybe we are programmed that way. Destined to be loyal even if the partner is not. And women have always been known to sacrifice a lot for the relationship. Be it dating or married. Or even, divorced.

Maybe because it’s part of our culture. Men are allowed to venture to anything, be everything and anything. Do whatever their hearts desire. Women are restricted. These days, of course, we can see the norm is changing bit by bit. But we still have a long way to go.

Coming back to the earlier point. Do men feel heartbreak? Straight men.

Why I look forward to 6pm

Yes, it's the time to leave the office. But that's not it.

No, not because I'm meeting someone special. I definitely do not have one, unless you count Mr. Hippo who's always waiting for me on my bed at home.

Not The Nanny too. I've missed it for the whole week last week. And it's because of this new thing that I'm... involved in. The reason why I look forward to 6pm.

I did mention I have started jogging. And last week Monday, I gathered my courage and sign up for a gym membership. And last week I've been challenging myself to regain my long gone stamina.

And I must say, it's been really fun. Let me recount what happened...

Tuesday. I left the office promptly at 6pm and made my way to the gym, as quick as I can to attend the BodyBalance class. It's a combination of Yoga, Pilates and Tai Chi. I found that I'm flexible enough as a novice, but I was a bit shaky on balancing and my coordination... let's not go there. The instructor promised that I'll be relaxed and my worries will go away by end of the class. He was right on the relaxation. He lied about the worries. After the class I ran on the treadmill. 30 minutes after, I was in the BodyStep class. Bl00dy he11. My stamina. Gone. My coordination. Another goner. My butt. Ached like nobody's business. I almost fell over while jumping up and down on the stepper. Duhh... But the class promises a well-toned legs and hump. I'll definitely go again.

Wednesday. Can't remember what I did. But I think I was not at the gym. He he he... Short term memory lost.

Thursday. Line Dancing. I was almost sure I couldn't make to the class. The traffic was really bad. But luck was on my side. I reached just in time. And the instructor had not arrive yet. It was fun. The instructor was a bit exasperated with me. I did mention about my un-coordinate limbs, right? And short term memory lost? I easily forgot the steps. Ha ha ha... After the class, I wanted to go home, but I was stopped by one of the trainers. He's always at the cardio machines area and he 'forced' me to run on the treadmill. He made me go on the stepper machine (which he promptly said that would tone my butt to which I said "thank you very much, that's what I need"), but I couldn't make myself 'light' enough to use it properly. So he instructed me to cycle. So I did. While watching Scrub on StarWorld.

Friday. The class I wanted to attend was at 7.25pm. I reached the gym at 6:30pm. Changed to my baju senaman and cat-walked to the lounge. But before I reached my destination, I was stopped by the same instructor. He wanted to know what I plan to do for the day. The moment I said the class starts at 7.25, he instructed me to walk on the treadmill. And he was 'kind' enough to add gradient to it. He's taking his role as an instructor seriously. He should be given a medal. He set the timer at 20 minutes. After 10 minutes he came to check on me, and added more gradient. I smiled and thanked him. Oh... then he said, rest for 5 minutes and go cycle after this. He said it'll make my legs stronger. So, being a lowly student that I am, I went for 15 minutes. I was a bit wobbly getting of the cycling machine, he smiled and I made my way to BodyPump class. Aaahh.. a bit of weight training. Wonderful. Another class that I'll try to attend diligently. After the class, I went for relaxed cycling for 30 minutes, showered, drove home and off to bed.

I must say that ever since I started gym, I wake up earlier than usual. And I do sleep better. Not that I ever had any problem with sleeping. Just give me a conducive ambient and I'm off to la-la land. I hibernate easily. Although my body is aching at places I never knew existed (or forgotten they exist more likely) it feels really good. If I can keep this up for another couple of months, I'll be the standing alive (as oppose to drop dead) gorgeous babe in no time. Ha ha ha... My friend did remind me not to be too ambitious. But hey, that overzealous dream is what keeps me going. More when I see the Pussycat Dolls on MTV while running on the treadmill. :-p

I'm attending the BodyBalance class this evening. Come and join. I need a gym buddy. Now that DNAS has found hers, I need one too. Anyone?

Letter to Boss

Dear Boss,

I have been here for two months and I must say I’m getting frustrated. Allow me to elaborate.

• You assign me to projects, and then you pull me out and then you assign another project that I know nothing about.
• You send me for knowledge transfer for Project A, Boss, but you’re assigning Project B to me and give Project A to someone else. I am confused, could you please shed a light?
• I have been here for two months, Boss, but there is no work for me to do. Read: you assign me completed projects with absolutely nothing to do.
• I am bored boss. Days are spent with updating my blog, read other people’s blog, read emails, read online newspaper and… chatting, Boss.

Please, I am requesting you to give me more work to do. I am getting restless with nothing to do. Even if you adore me so much and do not want to burden me, I think this is a little bit unfair for me. My colleagues have tones of things to do, boss. I don’t. I’m jealous of them. Please give meaning to my hours in the office. I’m feeling undervalued.

When you interviewed me boss, you promise that I will be very busy. I was really ecstatic. Now that I’m here, I wonder what your definition of ‘busy’ is. I asked for your time so that we can talk these things over but you offer me to view your schedule. Boss, I really don’t want to see the proof that you’re busy. You have one willing staff here, could you please delegate, then?

I appreciate you taking time to read this, Boss. I’m ready for the next possible task that you want to assign to me. Please do not hesitate to email me the load. I look forward to hearing from you.

This is also a reminder that failure of task assigning will prompt me to work harder in distributing my resume. I am sure there are many employers out there who are eager to employ such motivated staff like me.

Thank you.

Yours truly.

LOST

E N D

Closure

"You know I care for you a lot"
"It would have been more if we were in a different situation"

How often do you come across this statement? I have many friends who are/were at the receiving end, including yours truly. And most of the times the reason is timing.

Two people can get along perfectly. Enjoy each other’s company tremendously. Spend hours talking and laughing about anything and everything all night and still has something to talk about tomorrow. The same people can admit that they like each other. But the same people will replay the conversation above.

Reason? It could be absolutely anything under the sun.

It could be that one is going off somewhere to work and don’t really believe in long distance relationship. It might be one could not be tied down because they don’t want the restrictions. It could be because one of them is attached, might be both. It could be because of odd working condition, long hours, less time for each other. It could be because of fear of heartbreak. It could also be because one of them is homosexual.

So, what do we do when this happen? How do we react when we are at the receiving end? Do you say “Thank you” because the other person care so much? Or do you say “Tough luck” because the timing is not right. Or would you say “Your loss” because you know that you’ll be the best thing ever happen to that person and vice versa.

But wouldn’t it be sad that nothing can be done to salvage the almost-relationship? It might be that once in a lifetime occurrence. In some cases, yes, there’s nothing we can do about it. But if it’s not because of other attachments or sexual orientations, there must be something that we can do. Right?

Probably, at the end of the day, it’s just depending on how much in to each other these two people are. Probably she’s not that into you. Probably he’s not that much into you. Maybe when the question is asked, the two people realize that it’s not exactly what they have in mind. Probably at the end of the day, we just want to have fun and get that adrenaline rush and the endorphins produced.

Wouldn’t it be more honest to say this:-

“It’s been fun while it lasted. Now it’s time to move on.”

But we don’t. Instead we butter our words and sprinkle some sugar on top serve with honey to soften the blow. Aaaahh… And both parties part feeling good.

Case closed.

The Inevitable

Sometimes I wonder about the timing of things. They pass so quickly and swiftly that you wonder what you've missed. And you keep on wondering because no one is there to tell you what happened. When you open your eyes, you're all alone.

What is it about the heart that makes you bleed? The blood. The heart is the life. Because that is where the oxygen that we breathe is disseminate to other parts of the body. Because when the heart dies, the rest of the body dies along with it.

It’s not easy to get someone who really understands. Once that person arrive, you should hold on tight. At the end of the day nothing else matters except conversation shared. Most disputes are because of difference of opinions. Different ways of seeing things. Doing things.

But life goes on. You can plan, execute, but the result might not be as you hope in the beginning. You can choose to have fun with no care of anything else, but the hurt that you feel at the end is of your own doing. You can tell someone you will love the same person until end of time but the break up is of your own choosing. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

But sometimes they do. So, we must not give up hope. We just need to know to fight which battle. If it’s worth fighting for, shoot away.

And there are also times, when you know you should quit, but you can’t because of circumstances. Because quitting might destroy other people’s havens. So you stay. And you suck it up with your head held high. And you win.

Life is tough. And it is never always fair. You might be the cheered leader today but a sore loser tomorrow. You might be the mighty gladiator yesterday but cower behind bars afraid of death today. You might be a singer whose songs were whistled all year long but forgotten when the rhythm is changed. Life is tough. Life goes on.

This goes out to my friends out there who are holding on, giving up, care not etc. Whatever you do people, you have my full support. We fren fren wat...

Walaweh

Did you watch the game yesterday? Did you? Did you?

I didn't realise the game was aired on RTM2. I do have Astro, but not sports channel. I was smsing my friend asking the current score after first half, while browsing the channels when I switched to RTM2.

And, this is why I don't want to watch football.

It's very emotional for me. Even if it's not my team playing. In fact, I don't care who's playing, whether it's the underdog or not. I just love the game.

I was at the edge of my seat during those final minutes. Three goals in the last 10 minutes. What a game. How often do you see that happen? And I was watching it!! Well, so were millions of other people. But do I look as if I care if I was not the only one? He he he...

Although I only catch the 2nd half, it was worth it.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel

School holidays are evil. They give false impression. That the road to work is always clear. Eventhough it only started two weeks ago. Even if it was as it is today two weeks back. No. School holidays are not evil. I am at fault. I let leisure play my conscience and my mind was blinded by bliss. Cheeewaaaahhh... hehe..

I finished this book this morning.

This book is about believe. Faith. Impression. What you don't see doesn't mean they don't exist and what you see doesn't mean exist the way you see it. Complicated? Not exactly. That's life.

Piscine Molitor Patel. The teenage boy who miraculously survived a sinking ship on a life boat with Richard Parker, a Bengal Tiger. After Richard Parker ate the hyena who killed the orang utan and the ailing zebra. And the rat. Pi (22/7 or 3.142) Patel, as he wanted to be known, survived the Pacific Ocean for 227 days.

He was onboard a cargo ship with his mother, father and brother. They were en route to Canada from India. His father owned a zoo who decided to sell it and migrate the whole family to Canada.

Pi Patel ate fish until his skin was shiny with the scale. He devoured turtles and its blood and used their shell as shield. He trained Richard Parker the Omega so that the tiger accepted him as the Alpha male. He was almost eaten by a drifting Frenchman, but saved by Richard Parker, who ate the French. Pi also survived a carnivorous algae island where school of friendly and innocent meerkats were the occupants. And finally drifted to Mexican shore. And broken hearted because Richard Parker and he did not parted ceremoniously.

He was born a Hindu. He discovered Christianity. And he believed in one God in Islam. He prayed to all three faiths.

This book gives an impression that life is more than just what we have learnt. It tells us not to reject the unseen or unrecorded. It says that we should have faith. That you can lose everything in this world, except God.

And that you can do the things you thought you'll never do or can't do. You just need motivation.

I bought a new pair of jogging shoes. I have started to exercise.

I want my own crayons!

Do you remember how, when we were in school, we enjoyed using crayons or water colour? Do you remember the pleasure of watching our hidden artistic side making its mark on the paper? Do you also recall when we finished (or not) that masterpiece, only to have the crayons taken by its rightful owner? We borrowed it.

Or take another scenario, in secondary school. That famous rock band album. We can't stop listening to it the moment we get our hands on it. Day and night the stereo was screaming the ear piercing music. Only to be followed by silence days later. Because we had to return the album back to our friend, whom we borrowed it from.

The anguish of knowing that your favorite things are not yours in the beginning. But that simple pleasure of having them even though it's just for a while.

As we grow up, the things that come to us for a little while, making us feel good and contented, change. It could be that very engaging conversation you have over coffee with that special person, but the lingering knowledge that he or she could not be yours because he or she is already taken. It could also be the pleasure of driving a new sports car, only to give up the driver's seat few blocks later to our uncle who owns it.

At times we are allowed to hold on to these temporary pleasures for longer times. But the constant reminder by simple acts or words that they belong to someone else would put a dent on the smile. Whether we like it or not. We keep telling ourselves that it's nothing personal and it's temporary, but our deceitful little heart continue to have that foolish hope. That somehow, mystically, magically the pleasure will be ours to hold on. Forever. Silly, silly. And even sillier when we feel hurt by it.

So, the question is, how do you remain untouched? How do we maintain the non-chalant attitude? Even more important, how do we survive the separation?

Answer: Get your own crayons!

Fever!

Are you feeling feverish already? Wait! Before you get too excited, girls, here is something you should read to assist you in the weeks ahead...

Read Here

Semalam

Sunday. Petang. Helped mak to do some garden clean-up. Mak said pokok puding kat tepi pagar tu dah berpenyakit. I went to inspect. Umm.. Yeahh.. White, shell-stuff. Gross. You know... macam teritip atas batu kat pantai tuh. Definitely a goner. Memang kene buang lah. So I asked mak, mana abah nyer gergaji dwarf tuh? It's a tiny saw with yellow handle. I've always liked using it. Long time ago. When I do gardening. Every weekend.

Mak pun pegi la korek kat dalam gobok kat tepi rumah tu. The moment it's in my hand, it felt good. Tapi, bila aku start je nak gergaji pokok puding tuh, I felt frustrated. The blade kept on getting stuck in the middle. Aku ni pemalas sikit, jangan tak tau. I just keep on menggergaji. It's a matter of technique, you see... So, dengan bersungguh-sungguh la aku tolak and tarik menatang tuh. Pokok puding tuh, obviously la bergerak-gerak kan? So, all the white stuff berterbangan. Dalam kepala aku... habis laa rambut aku. Jangan la kulat ni nanti jadi entah aper creature kat kulit kepala aku pulak.

Mak came over to see my progress. Lepas tu dia dok bebel sebab aku buat keje tak pakai gardening glove. Dia pi la keluarkan from the same gobok where she took the saw. Aku sengih jer, malas la. Besides, I feel more comfortable doing gardening bare-handed, idiotic, I know. Long time ago, I used to plant flowers and shrubs, prepared the soil. And it just give me pleasure to feel the earth between my fingers. I was just rekindling the feelings.

So, habis menggergaji, I collected all the casualties and stacked them in the drain outside the perimeter of the house. This is where we do open burning, you see... He he he... Mak already started the fire kat timbunan yang dah kering. Then I told her I carry on from there, because I wanted to burn the pudings as well. Mak cakap, basah lagi tu, biar je la dulu sampai dia kering. I said, tak per, I can do it.

Long, long ago, I learnt from my father how to burn recently cut leaves and shrubs. You see, they are still 'wet', making it difficult to burn. Three things he told me was:

• maintain small fire, if it's too big it'll die faster. the smoke is and indicator there's fire underneath.
• leave some air holes. that means do not stack the leaves, branches, ranting all together. have to be patient putting them one by one. slowly. the fire needs air.
• last but not least, at times, when there is no breeze, you need to blow some air to feed the fire. (tapi aku selalunya kipaskan ajer, being impatient that I am...)

So semalam, aku pun praktikkan lah aper yang abah ajar. And being me, sementara dok membakar tuh, I ponder on life and incidentally related it with the burning.

• in life, we need to take a step at a time. if we go up too fast, we go down quickly too. there's always place and time for everything.
• we should not complicate our lives. again, slow and steady. and we should leave some space for other things in life, besides our goals.
• at times, we need to dirty our hands and do it ourselves instead of waiting for things to happen. in fact, most of the times we need to do this. there's no short cut. because the breeze does not come often.

Aku rasa macam aku boleh tulis buku pasal life and motivation bila aku boleh relate kan life to the simple things that we do. Hahaha.. Lepas tu aku gelak sorang-sorang. Abah came down from his stint with the internet. Dia ingatkan adik bongsu aku yang dok membakar. I said I have everything under control. He smiled. Maybe dia terpikir, ada jugak benda yang anak perempuan dia belajar and can practice correctly. He he he...

I left the fire burning slowly. And I know everything will turn to ashes if it doesn't rain that night. But I made one mistake. I did not check it before leaving the house. Maybe I should call Mak now and ask her whether everything habis terbakar or not...

Review: A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

This book left me void of feelings. At least for a while. My friend, who suggested me reading it had already warned me that it's sad. And I was prepared to cry. But I did not. Because harsh as it may seem, it's real life.

As usual, when reading, I will conjure the story physically in my mind. At times it's difficult for I could not imagine such pain and sadness could befall on a person. It's as if there is no justice at all in life. Which God has already forewarned us long, long time ago. For He is the only justice that we could trust. And with that my imagination was restored. And acceptance of such cruelty came.

No, it is not a happy book. In fact, the more I read it, the more I realise that the challenges that I face daily are nothing compared to the lives of these people in the book. The characters might be fictional, but the events are not. And it's still happening all around us.

Racism has always appalled me, but separation because of castes... left me speechless. And the knowledge that it is still happening in our own society, well educated society. It's not that I did not see it in the form of darah gahara and rakyat jelata or employers and employees or business owners and clients. Those are all in one way or another a form of separation. But I could stomach that for that is part of our daily lives. And I realised castes among the same race is just another part of our daily lives. To quote my friend, it's in the blood. It's inbred generation after generation.

That's not the only thing that was explored in the book. Political games, superiority and helplessness, familly issues and values, friendship, etc. The book is a collection of live stories. Our everyday life. There are ups and downs, laughter and tears, life and death. It also a story of how to cope with all these situations, fortunate and otherwise.

Actually I'm not quite void of all feelings. Earlier, in the preface, readers are warned that they will blame the author for their own insensitivity, for the exaggeration, even when all the events are true. I feel thankful. You have to read the book to know why you should feel the same.

Holding this book in your hand, sinking back in your soft armchair, you will say to yourself: perhaps it will amuse me. And after you have read this story of great misfortunes, you will no doubt dine well, blaming the author for your own insensitivity, accusing him of wild exaggeration and flight of fancy. But rest assured: this tragedy is not a fiction. All is true.

-Honore de Balzac, le Pere Goriot
(preface for the book)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Fine_Balance

Heh!

Pinggan tak retak, Nasi tak dingin,
Kalau kau tak nak, Aku lagi tak ingin

Our ancestors have way with words, eh? This attitude of tak mau kalah and in one way, nak jaga air muka. He he he. But why the UEP people still want to have "talks" when the other party seems not to be interested, I don't know. Disneyland in Malaysia sounds good, but we can still live without having Mickey and the gang hopping and jumping, right? I enjoy them much more in Disney channel.

Is building a branded theme park in JB a way to rival the Vegas casino in Singapore? Interesting, eh? Parents play in Singapore, and the kids have fun in JB. He he he... The ultimate family vacation. Hmm... this might be beneficial after all. And maybe, just maybe... the sibling rivalry between these two countries would be less choking.

I personally think, there's no need for another theme park in Malaysia. Well, if you must, then there's no need to have an expensive one. Just a well maintained, fun to be at theme park will be great. Besides, how often do you go to theme park anyway?

---

When you serve the land well, the land will reward you.

I think there is a saying something like the above. The recent landslide in Hulu Klan (again) is very saddening. Lives lost, finger pointing, etc.

Maybe we should consider living in ran*. It's probably cheaper, no forest will be destroyed, green house effect is lessen, temperature is tolerable. Maybe we should.

Technology can be troublesome. Don't believe me? Just look at how many people have been affected by SMS. The celebrated celebrities, the wives who got divorced, and recently, this man in KB.

*tree house

It's Friday again!

In my previous post, I failed to mention another interesting aspect of Lelaki Komunis Terakhir. It's semi-musical. The lyrics are hillarious and some of the songs still playing in my head. I want to watch it again! And again. It's something like reading Wilayah Kutu, actually. Addictive. Ha ha ha...

You can read more about the semi-musical-documentary-film here.

Change is scary. The unknown is even scarier. But both exhilarate our lives in so many ways. And we know that we can never stop ourselves from going through changes and stepping to the unknown. So, what is it about change and the unknown that makes us so sceptic and... phobic?

Enough about serious stuff. Let's talk about food. I enjoy good, sinfull food. This, is going to be my dinner tonight. (Thanks, kakak!)