Surviving Love Heartache

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete         -BSB; Incomplete

This is an example of a sad love song. It tells us how it feels like when losing someone that is very dear. Either by death or just because of a break-up in the relationship.

Writing from break-up perspective, let me tell you, it's true. It's very true; speaking from experiences.

BUT, let me also tell you that the feeling will pass after some time. For every heartache, they will heal. You cannot delete the memories, but the sadness, the pain, they will go away in time. Time heals, just like Mariah Carey's song; Love Takes Time (to heal). The tears will stop.

When you're going through a break-up whether you wanted it or not, the pain is there. You started to feel that you have wasted a lot of time and effort on this someone who is supposed to be in love with you. Because for those period of time that you're together, this other person became your centre of everything. In most cases, girls will definitely put their partner first before everything else. As it is the nature for a girl to do so. During this period, you spend most of your waking time with your partner than your friends or even family members. And obviously when the relationship ended, it feels as if the world ends with it.

But fear not, it doesn't. Because life goes on. When the other person, probably, is enjoying his/her new life, with laughter, smiles and new love, why should we wallow in tears for so long? Give time for grief because that is how you will heal. But do not stay there any longer than necessary. Life goes on. 

Some people suggest to bury yourself with work because it will stop you from thinking about the loss. I disagree. You should spend time on thinking of what you have lost, and also what you have gained through out the experience. Cherish the happy times, learn from the sad ones. From here, slowly you will see that the break up is probably the best thing that could happen to you at a very opportune time. When you bury yourself with work, you are running away from what makes you sad, you're running away from reality. It's fine to do it for a while, but sooner or later you have to face the fact that life is not the same anymore and you have to accept this new breath of air. And move on. 

Some people suggest to go out with friends rather than wallowing alone at home. I agree. But after you give time to yourself to be alone. Because the purpose of going out with friends is to enjoy and feel happy again. If you're going out while you're still in the grieving state, you will only end up with tears, if not while out, when you get back home. And this is not helping. It's okay to feel a little sadness amongst the laughter, you're only human. And move on. 

Bad experiences in love relationship might make you bitter and not trusting. That is totally understandable. And no one can judge you badly for being this way. Because now you are wiser and you will start a new relationship with a purpose in mind and will not waste your time with players and jokers anymore. Because now you see the true meaning of a relationship and the value in it. So, if you're going out with someone who has different values on relationship, you know to draw the line, and to just enjoy the company as it is. You will not expect anything more. Because now, you know what you want from a serious relationship. So you move on. 

Many people say that when the right person comes along, you do not even realise it. It just happen slowly and surely, and finally you are there! While it may not happen this way for everyone, the concept is the same. Because every one of us is meant for someone. It just need the right time for it to happen. Think of this time alone as way to enrich yourself and learn more about yourself, to love yourself more than everything else. To learn to be happy yourself, on your own, before you can be happy with someone else. And when your being is at the right frequency with that someone who is intended to you, surely the magic will happen. It sounds a little whimsical, but some how, it is true. 

And when the real thing is happening, just rejoice every moment of it. Feel the love and happiness envelop your every senses. Don't let small little things bother you so much. If you have doubts or worries, communicate it with your partner. Because a relationship with repress feelings, is not healthy, in my opinion. It's a little scary to tell the person you love that you're upset or unhappy or angry, but if you do it, it makes you speak your mind, show your partner you have a stand, and God willing, he will appreciate it and respect you more. 



Relationship is not easy. It needs hard work everyday. From the man and the woman. It cannot happen with only one person making the effort. 

I sincerely hope that this post will help friends out there who are going through the heartaches. Some cannot let go of the past and give chance to new relationships. Some are still tearing from the pain. Some in relationships but emotionally repressed. I hope you will find solace, and whenever you need to talk, you know I'm all ears for you.

New Layout and Live Writer

Momster suggested that I use Windows Live Writer to blog. She said she has not been accessing blogger directly for quite some time because she’s enjoying Live Writer. It’s easier she said. Hmm… What I’m finding interesting is that I can use other fonts for my blog post. Let’s just see if the font that I’m currently typing with will be displayed correctly. It's looking lovely in this draft… I shall blog more about Live Writer and my feelings on it in another post.

Next, the new layout. What do you think of it? I would prefer the white spaces between the texts on the right column is smaller. But beggars can’t be choosers, right? Until the day I create my own template, I should just use what’s given, follow the instructions AND credit the creator. There are tons of templates to choose from that I sometimes feel overwhelmed. So, this is the second time I’m picking out a theme from this website: instantShift; which means, millions of people might be using the same template! He he he…

“tak vampiric pun”, was the response from The Hubby on my new layout. But I did mention in my previous post that I want the new layout to be more… fresh and fun right? There were others that attracted me, but they were either too bright or fell into the same colour theme like before; black and red.

Well, I will rejoice in this new layout and the experience of using Windows Live Writer. We shall see which will stick around after a month! Ha ha ha…

What's wrong with Blogger?

I think, I'm changing my blog theme again... This time to something more fresh and bright maybe? Although I really heart black and red combination, a year of this theme colour is enough, don't you think?

It might take time before I finally get the one that I really heart. But it will change.

And what's with Blogger these days? Have you noticed how different your blog looks when you add pictures? I hate those white spaces!! Although adding images are easier and simpler, I might say. But please, I want the old look back! And when I press "Enter" instead of "SHIFT" + "ENTER", they add double spaces to the paragraph. NOT HEARTING IT!!

But why is it that other people's blog look normal? Hmmm...

Child On Board!

No, I am NOT pregnant.


I am referring to the bumper sticker people. You may notice as you drive lots of vehicles carry something similar to the above sticker. They publicly claim they have kids in their vehicles. As such, the stickers serve as a reminder for motorists to drive carefully and safely when the "stickered" vehicle is in vicinity.

However, have you also noticed how the drivers of these "stickered" vehicles drive? A lot of them conveniently forget that they have their vehicle "stickered" with the notification. I am sure they notice their kid(s) on the back seat. They just resume their "normal" driving style they use when the kid(s) is not on board.

It's unsettling. It's worrying. Are parents these days so full of themselves that they conveniently ignore the amanah that God has bestowed upon them. I hope when the time comes, I will not be one of them. This is not only for the children's safety, but also for their moral development. Kids are very observant. They see how we drive and how we act on the road. If they see us swerving in front of another vehicle, not giving indicator lights and running red lights, they will grow up thinking it is okay to break the rules or cause misery on other people on the road.

I, myself, has a long way to go to revert back to my calm self years ago. Those years, I was so calm on the road. I did not swear at all, even a small "sh*t". None. But after a couple of years feeling bullied, it changed. So now, I need to go back to the calm and well behaved Jade, because every word I utter will affect the kid. (No, I am not pregnant). So, I am grateful to The Almighty God, for giving me this kid-free time to readjust myself, which I hope will be a better me when bringing up a mini Jade.

So, let's all stand together and be a better driver. Not just for safety reason, but also for children with healthier mind and soul development. Shall we? 

Mashed Potato with Black Pepper Beef

I decided to cook yesterday evening. I wanted to savour spices, but I did not want to eat rice, so I decided to make mashed potato.  


Mashed Potato
Boil one potato with one carrot (chopped).
Once tender, mash together.
Season with salt and pepper.


Black Pepper Beef
I purchase the pre-packed beef sliced for stir fry.
Prep beef with grounded black pepper, salt, sweet soy sauce, ginger slices. 
Stir fry garlic and onion in hot oil. 
Add the beef mixture, and cook to your liking. I like the meat soft, so I don't fry them too long. 
Add just a little water, because the meat will release its own liquid. Yummy!

You can also prep the beef together with the garlic and onion. And dump everything into hot oil.


Serve
Place the mashed potato in the middle of the plate.
Top with the black pepper beef and it's gravy. Generously.
Garnish with grilled capsicum, tomato and asparagus on top. A la 5-star serving.


So, that's it. No picture, sorry about that. You just have to use your imagination. He He He...

When you just want to learn

I do not know if it's some kind of modus operandi for our preachers (ustazs and imams) out there; that is to be condescending and judgmental with dashes of holier-than-thou attitude. I don't think it's anyone's prerogative to say whether a person is under Allah's grace or not. We only see the physical representation of one's relationship with the Creator, but we do not see what's unseen; what's inside the person's heart. We have no rights whatsoever to determine whether one's amal and ibadah are accepted by Allah.


We really should stop being judgmental.


Our preachers need to change tactics so that they will be able to attract more people to do what's right. People these days are thinkers. They don't just follow blindly anymore. Give the people some credit and have respect towards them, even if their knowledge is lesser.


I do agree that we should educate people to stop or at least to watch less of Akademi Fantasia, Raja Lawak and whatever similar programs. These shows do not enrich us in anyway except maybe make the little ones wish they are singers themselves. 


Earlier today Mak told me what happened on Friday to my brother. He just came back home and was closing the house gate. A school bus full with primary school kids passed by and my brother smiled. One of the kids showed his middle finger to my brother just like that. What kind of reaction is THAT?! A smile is replied with rude gestures. What are we teaching kids these days?


I guess it's time to change tactics. Don't you?

April Reads

Recently, I find myself reaching books with different genre than before. Today, I bought two new books:

1. Understanding Perfection: The Profound Truth by Malim Ghozali
2. Natrah @...@ Bertha: Cinta, Rusuhan, Air Mata by Fatini Yaacob

The first; just because I see the need to enrich myself spiritually, constantly. Just a personal journey towards knowing and understanding the Almighty. The side benefit, insyaAllah, I get to learn my part, the reason I am put into this world.

As for the second book, I heard about Natrah for years and never understood what really went down those years. I also never took the opportunity to dig in more and along the way it was just forgotten. While queuing to pay for the first book, I saw this one and decided, what better way to learn more... So I did.

As I said, the genre of the books that I read have changed. As such, it takes longer to read. Because these books are not just to fill up time but also a learning process. And in the midst of it, comprehension has to set it and to allow that to happen, I have to give it time. Books now make me have debate with myself while cross-referencing other sources as well. How time changes.

I picked up a book in my husband's room when we were in Kuching last weekend and was told it belongs to my sister-in-law. It's entitled The Manny by a socialite named Holly Patterson. I finished the book within three days. It was entertaining and yet pretentious.

I remember those days saying that I read only for pleasure. I cannot say the same now. Because the books that used to leave me satisfied just do not have the same effect on me anymore. Lately I seek more value in the things that I read.

Lately, I seek values in everything that I do. And that's another reason why the current work environment no longer satisfy my needs. Humbly, insyaAllah, I have become a grown up.

PS: Book cover snapshot taken from respective linked sites

Mid Week Story

Except for toiletries and war paint items, my bag is packed for the weekend! Yes people, I'm spending the weekend with Mr. Hubby! Yeay! This is by far the longest that we have been apart since almost four years ago.

He he he... well.

Circumstances happened that allow us to have the house all to ourselves for the weekend. WAIT. Don't be over-excited. Mother nature decides to intervene and my "sister" is visiting. And she's mocking me by playing hard-to-flow.

Sharky suggested Coke, but I don't feel right to force nature. Although I did worked out as hard as I could in the gym just now, but still, my "sister" is being naughty. But I am sure she'll be flowing happily tomorrow.

Should I be talking about this anyway? Hmmm... What I really wanted to blog about was PMS. Because lately, it's been hitting me quite bad. Not only the occasional discomfort but the emotional limbo. PMS is considered a medical disease because a lot of women are either treated medically or psychologically or both! Some cases are so severe that it affects the lives of these women. Do you know that PMS hits two weeks before the cycle starts? That means, half of the month a woman is in a state of emotional limbo.

So, men, be kind to your spouses. Half of the time they did not mean to annoy you purposely. And the other half, you might want to reflect and think what have you done wrong. PMSing women are almost similar to pregnant women I suppose. Just be there for us, stop trying to understand why we act the way we do.

I know it seems easy to blame it on two weeks of PMS. But trust me when I say that a normally balanced woman, would have tried everything she could to adjust and recalibrate her state before she accepts defeat to emotional outburst. Every woman in a relationship does it. Whether it is with her husband, friends, kids, co-workers, bosses. She would have summoned every ounce of will before she succumbs to the power of feel.

And when that happens, you just need to be patient because she will calm down and crawl back into your arms. Well... at least, I do that. Ha ha ha... Crawl, that is.

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