Remember the times when relationships first blossomed? The time when both boy and girl wanted to impress one another. The time when boy and girl both accomodated each other. The time when time and money spent were never an issue. The time when all was soft and dewy and beautiful. The time boy and girl were in heaven.
Then, the comfortable feeling sets in. And the changes begin.
Why is it that when we get into out comfort zone, we start to take things for granted? Is this behaviour coded into our genetic pattern? Can we not go on impressing each other and life is all about wine and chocolate and roses?
This is not about wanting to live in a fantasy or fairy tales or dreamland.
This is about showing our love and affections. This is about being grateful and thankful. This is about celebrating our other halves. This is about wanting to feel needed and wanted always. This is about making the relationship warm always, and occasionally hot and sizzling.
As the commercialised day closing in, you see elaborated advertisements and promotions. Roses and chocolates values are increasing. And you see people making phone calls for reservations and deliveries. Girls are thinking of the dresses that they want to wear, the looks that they want to go for. Boys, well, obviously they'll be thinking of the money that they will have to spent to make the girls happy. At the very least, the girls will be anxiously waiting for the roses or chocolates or teddy bears or The Card. And the boys, are scratching their heads on what to buy. (Damn! Everything is so bloody expensive!) Ha ha ha...
I have never had any Valentine's Dinner or roses and chocolates on 14th February. And I'm not expecting to get any this year (this is not a hint for a dinner or a bouquet) either. But it is fun to see people get dressed up to impress.
Anyway, I digress. The point I'm trying to make is this, let's celebrate love everyday. Let's impress each other everyday. Reality is the lives that we live in and we can never run away from it. If we keep thinking of the money that we spent, or the time that we consumed, we can never celebrate our love to the maximum.
I am not saying you should spend all you have, no. Because celebrating love is not about how much you spend, how big the gift is or how huge the diamond is. Celebrating love is not about expecting gold chains or diamond rings. It is also not about spending the weekend in Caribbean or Bali.
Celebrating love is about making our partners feel wanted and needed and appreciated. Celebrating love is about being thankful that God has bestowed upon us someone who loves us and someone for us to love.
You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.
As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.
It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.
- Laura Baker -
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.
As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.
It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.
- Laura Baker -
12 comments:
i hate u...u know how much i do...
but i lurveeee youuuuuu...*hug*
Dear Jade
The answer to your questions raised in para 3 is that....we (or most of us) always see things in the short run. Its always exciting, fun, fantastic but never boring during the early years. Once we tie the knot,*KABOOM* its hasta la vista baby - its all the way downhill except for a few, rare, occasional short respite.
Perhaps we should look at things in the medium run. Give some serious thoughts about having to age and yet still loving and respcting each other. Couples should often ponder for a few minutes everyday on what they will be doing when they reached 40,50,60 years of age.
Marriage life or any relationship for that matter should last forever or till death do them apart and not ends immediately after the first 'you know what'. (Go figure)
Oh and yes, forget about the long-run cos everybody will be dead by then.
P.s. Forget the roses or chocolate or candle lit dinner. A home cooked bowl of assam laksa would just do if its prepared with love and affection.......
Cheers
Jade,
I luv you loooong time!
now that's how we girls justify the lembap-ness of some guys who don't take the trouble to continue woo-ing you beyond second base....apa lagi kalau dah taouch-down.
it's fine when they say that oh, Valentine's is a scheme to boost the gift/flower industry. yea, we get that it's not something we Muslims celebrate....and that ppl should say the "i love you"s and appreciate/honor your loved ones everyday, and not just on Velentine's..tetapi manakah semua itewww????
dah hari lain tak kasi,bila tiba hari kekasih(konon) pun tak kasi...jgn nak bedek ahh kan jade kan? cakap je takde duit or kedekut...doesn't take that much to make the other person feel special kan?
i put it to you gal, kena ada agreement siang2...that once in a while kena ada hadiah2 dan bunga2 itu...kadang2 girl bagi, kadang2 boy bagi...it's just a measure of how thoughtful you are,tgk barang cantik, ahh mesti sayang saya suka ni...or kesian dia kerja penat2, nah satu voucher pegi manja diri...
it is the concept of ihsan, kalau u memberi, u menggembirakan orang. u pun happy. kalau u dapat benda pun, orang tu happy tgk u happy. tu je...akak tak cerewet...jangan take things forgranted aje...u masakkan assam laksa je cukup...amboi! abih awak kasi kita apa? tiba2 ke assam laksa tu siap macam magic? it's made with a lot of sweat and love and thoughtfulness.
kalau akak kena masak assam laksa pun, akak buat sbb akak sayang...abih abang kasi kiss ke tak lepas tu, that's a different story altogether....
dia kasi kita satu "burp..alhamdulillah", sapu2 perut dan tanya esok nak masak apa.
it really doesn't take much to give pleasure to a woman...dia akan balas balik lebih dari apa yg awak beri. kan jade kan?
am i considered as hijacking your blog already?
queens: yeah yeah yeah... i know i'm lovable and huggable :-p
galing: girl cooks assam laksa, and boy just burrp? hehe..
AE: right back at ya!
kak intan: nope it doesn't take a lot to make a girl happy. a peck on the cheek or a warm hug and an "i love you". ok kot?
well true enough love is not about the size of a present and how much it cost to celebrate the joys of LOVE...Love shld be celebrated every single day eh!
Dear Jade
Beri laluan....beri laluan
kak Intan,
Kalau hubby itu seorang yang penyayang, romantis, pandai jaga hati, dan sangat memahami hati isteri dan apabila di hidangkan semangkuk assam laksa yang dimasak dengan cukup sedap dan lazat lagi mengeyangkan, pasti si suami dapat membuat *home run* yang begitu istimewa sehingga susah nak dilupakan.
Akan tetapi kalau si suami jenis yang mempunyai ciri ciri yang lain dari tersebut di atas, maka sebab itu le walaupun diberi makan sesedap mungkin pasti akan membuat *touch down* walau pun bermain base-ball......
Pokoknya kalau nak bermain sukan kena pilih pemain yang betul betul mahir tentang permainan tersebut.
Sama juga dengan memilih pasangan hidup, kalau silap pilih.....dapat kaki botol/kena queen control (maaf Queen city tiada niat untuk mangaitkan nama sdri, he he).
kalau dah dari mula ada agreement ataupun perjanjian bertulis, ini akan menyempitkan dan mungkin memudaratkan perkahwinan. Bila sudah termaktub dalam perjanjian ianya umpama satu perkongisan hidup berlandaskan tata cara dan panduan. Macam ini silap langkah boleh kena jual.....jangan mara aahhh.
Saya pun bukan pakar dalam bab ini tapi saya berpeluang untuk melihat ayah dan ibu yang begitu mesra dari awal perkahwinan hingga ke hari ini.
Pada resamnya, fitrah manusia tidak berubah. Perubahan akan berlaku disebabkan oleh persekitaran dan juga tindak balas dari perbuatan dan tingkah laku pasangan. Sekiranya suami itu romantis sebelum berkahwin, ia tetap romantis selapas berkahwin. Perubahan kalau ada mungkin ke atas tahap romantisnya (lebih atau kurang) dan bukan pada ciri tersebut. Begitu juga siisteri. Masa bujangnya kalau dia seorang yang mesra dan penyanyang, selepas berkahwin, mungin akan bertambah kasih sayangnya dengan sebab dikurniakan cahaya mata. Inilah keistimewaan yang dianugerahkan Allah.
Kesimpulannya, pilihlah pasangan mengikut apa yang telah dipraktikan oleh kaum terdahulu dengan memberi keutamaan kepada ugamanya dan keperibadiannya. Yang lain itu penting tapi tak sepenting kedua kriteria ini.
Sekali lagi terima kasih kepada Jade kerana sudi memberi laluan.
nour: yeaaaa!! celebrate love daily. i think i want to make that my new blog tagline lahh..
galing: sila2.. saya sgt suka bila org tulis comment panjang2.. hehe..
encik galing:
apa2 pun kena agreement, bukan on paper ke apa...tapi persefahaman, jgn take things forgranted....
kalau kak intan punya padang, alhamdulillah, there have been a few slugfests and i am loving my roundtripper just fine.
i do accept and acknowledge your wise points.it still bewilders me how love prevails( in our parents' marriage) through trials and tribulations,and hope to be as resilient. we can only strive as players ourselves to run the whole nine yards the best way we know how.
my best to u and yours.
Jade,
apasal macam ada debate plak kat sini, ek?
Anyway, it's all abt giving and receiving. Up to you all lah nak bagi apa kat your loved ones. Yang penting, sekali sekala kenalah memberi. Jangan asyik nak menerimaaaaaaaaa je. Penat le makcik, okay.
Anyway, Jade I luv uuuuuuu!!! Jom pegi me'nyumbang' suara Friday ni.
kak intan: saya sgt setuju! abang soooo rock!!
dnas: sekali sekala best! yeaa... saya akan sumbangkan!!
Kak Intan
(With apologies to Jade)
i totally agree that there most be some form of understanding together with a large serving of give and take, hopefully never being served in a tiny young coconut..ha ha.
True love requires for much sacrifice, an indispensable recipe for a relation to work.
Having said that, its best to leave the trivial matters at bay and concentrate more on the things that begets happiness.
Marriage is a mystery to some and perhaps that's the reason some couple do endure while the rest failed. Sometimes its difficult to explain, like it takes ten yards to earn a first down in American football, not nine.
i'm happy that u & your other half shares many such moments.
My sincere salam to u and your soul mate.
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