Get on with it already!

Have you ever received an email that tells you a story of finding that special someone by depicting the scenario of getting on a bus? Where the person kept on waiting for a bus to arrive but never actually got onto one, for fear of missing a better one that would come after the one that had arrived? And sadly in the end, that bus never came.

I believe in fate and destiny. I believe in qada' and qadr. I believe that God has set me on this path to bring me closer to Him. I believe He loves me more than I can imagine. More than I ever show my love for Him. He gives me choices and I choose. He gives me opportunities and I take. He challenges my will and I face them. He loves me.

I know relationships are never smooth sailing. There will always be bumpy rides now and then, rough water to brave through. I am not delusional. I have my feet firm on the ground. I know humans err. I know perfection is only He and nothing else. I know ideals only exist in heavens. Put away those craps about "How to find your ideal partner" or "Is he/she the one?".

We were never meant to understand the opposite sex. That is part of the mystery that keeps you going and attracted. It's the question that drives you and it's the question that brings you together. To adapt from Morpheus's statement to Neo in The Matrix part one. We were meant to accept the differences and the mystery and just plain take care of each other and love one another. And procreate, of course.

So, why is it that fear comes into picture? Fear of getting hurt. Fear of being heartbroken, yet again. Fear is the enemy. It stops you from taking the next step. Fear of getting on this particular bus because you fear the next one will be better. Fear of the unknown. Aren't we supposed to leave the unknown to Him because He is the only one who knows everything?

Thus, do I continue on this road and just see how it goes and where it'll take me? Or should I take the exit and be on another path? Should I take this bus or wait for another to come? If it comes. Choices... choices... Decision.

I was told that to have a majestic love there should be tears, hurt, pain. Along with the laughter, happiness, pleasure I suppose. I know this and I accept this. I also know what I want and hope. And I also believe that God knows best for me. How do I know this is just a test? And how do I know accepting it is right or best for me? Aaaahhh... that is why there is istikharah. And they say they don't want Islam. Cehhh...

Anyway, I digress. So, I guess, I'll just stay on this road and see where it takes me. Maybe the bus will wait for me, eh? Coz, I really can't decide to get on it or not. At least, not yet. I have to conquer my fear.