I remember those days when I was on my own. I kept on thinking why are those people who are rougher, more out-spoken and probably slightly "evil" able to find their other half so early? I mean, these are not necessarily nice people, but still, they have someone who love them enough that the men decided marriage it is!
I thought how unfair that is. I thought there must be something really wrong with me. I thought I am so lacking in so many ways that I don't know about. Therefore I could not correct them and I will always be alone. I kept on thinking these unknown disadvantages that I have that it really brought me down to a very low level at one point. I was feeling really, really sad and alone. I would suddenly cried without any reason. I started to pull myself inside and avoiding people. I felt really unattractive.
This was years ago. If I'm not mistaken, I was about 27 or 28 years old then. After this very low point in my life, somehow I woke up with a new breath. I suddenly love life better than anything else and I love myself a lot more. I started to be more brave in expressing myself; with words and how I present myself. I started buy more shoes (egad!). I started shopping for 'nicer' clothes. I started to have more than two handbags! I was practically evolving into being a typical woman! But even with all that, I was still myself. I know some people was sad with the changes I made. But for the first time in my life, I felt alive! I felt that I am being true to who I really am.
Changes are good. What's important, we should be comfortable in the changes that we make. More important, we're happy with the change. No other person should be able to dictate how you should live your life. They can offer advise and suggestions, but ultimately, you know what makes you happy.
Having said that, being a Muslim, we should always remember that whatever we do, we have The One to answer to. Whatever we say or do, we should always remember Him. And I guess, only then we're able to be truly happy, whatever choices or changes we make in our lives.
Owh... and of course, everything will happen in its own space and time. We don't have to fight or look for it. Especially in love. I don't believe in "looking for love". I believe in "preparing for love". This means, we prepare ourselves with the values that are truly ourselves. And when the time is right, as per qada' and qadr, it will happen.
My birthday shoes!
It would be so hypocritical if I say I was not excited to open my FB page today... So, yeah! I was anxious to see how many wishes I receive on FB, God knows why, cause I really couldn't figure out why I was acting like a teenage girl this morning! Ha ha ha...
And Alhamdulillah... lots of friends and family members left messages on the Wall. Thank you too to the ones who SMSed and emailed me with prayers and wishes. To all, this is my reply, the same that I posted on FB:
Thank you all for the wishes and prayers. May Allah's Nur be shone on all of us and our days ahead are blessed with His Rahmat and Love! God Bless!
So, yes, I am a year older. Subhanallah. So many things have happened, good and bad, happy and sad. And I cherish every moment. Allah has graced me with a lot of good things and challenged me with sadness as much as I could handle. I am sure there are many more in store for me in the days ahead and my wish that I will be able to face them always with integrity, love and strength.
I know everyone is waiting for THE news, but no, my friends, not yet. :-) I leave it up to The Hubby to say when and if Allah SWT decides it to be, then it is to be. So, let us enjoy this moment being "just the two of us" a bit longer, because, admit it, once you have an addition, it's not easy to spend time alone! I have waited so long for this, I want to cherish every single moment.
Honestly, we haven't been able to have dinner every single night, except on weekends. BUT we are having breakfast together every day. So, I'm thankful for that. We are learning to cope with space sharing and may I say that we need more! Ha ha ha... Suddenly I could not imagine ourselves in a 950 sqft space! But of course, we'll make do, if and when the need arises. We are doing our best to maximise the times we spend together, we do common things together as much as we can. ;-)
So, what does it feel to be a year added to my young age? I'd answer you truthfully. It's awesome! Marvelous! My wish that every one of you feels the same when asked the same question!
HAPPY 32nd (OMG!) BIRTHDAY JADE!!
...for if we lack the knowledge, we should listen and learn...Prof. Syed Muhammad Naquib al-Attas on Usage of word "ALLAH" On December 13, 2009, during the Worldview of Islam Seminar organized by the Assembly of Muslim Intellectuals or Himpunan Keilmuan Muda (HAKIM), there was a question being posted to Professor Al-Attas regarding the polemical usage of the word "Allah" by the non-Muslims.Below is the transcript of his brief-but-yet- concise enlightening remarks. As a word of caution, though, one must not only rely on this brief transcript alone to understand the whole spectrum of Prof. Al-Attas' view about this theological matter. Further thorough elucidation of his thought can be found in numerous works of this great Muslim scholar of this age, such as Prolegomena to the Metaphysics of Islam, Islam and Secularism, Islam dalam Sejarah dan Kebudayaan Melayu and A Commentary on Hujjat al-Siddiq of Nur al-Din al-Raniri.Question: The using of kalimah “Allah” by other people in this countryAnswers by Prof. Syed Muhammad Naquib Al-Attas :Well I have been talking about this long time ago. I remember about this in ISTAC, when we first established ourselves (late 80’s and early 90’s), I think the Arcbishop of Penang was asking this question. And I have answered that.And then we had a meeting with the Archbishop of Kuala Lumpur and about all the representatives of Christianity, including the ministers, we had a meeting at ISTAC.And I said, “Why you want to use the word ‘Allah’ for yourself?”They said “we going to pray in Bahasa Malaysia”That’s the way they put it. So my answers to them, “Why you have to change praying into Bahasa Malaysia. You have been praying in English all the time. Why suddenly change into Bahasa Malaysia?”Ok, so they said they want to change so that it more patriotic. Then in that case I’m saying that “why don’t you use Tuhan while praying in Bahasa Malaysia? Because you are talking about God isn’t it?…God is not just a name…”Allah” is a name of this Being whom you called God… and in fact a Being whom even higher than what you called to be God”And then I said, “ …and “Allah” is not from Bahasa Malaysia. It is not a national language. It belongs to the language of Muslim all over the world . Therefore your argument using this for the word “Allah” does not fit into your idea of God. Because “Allah” does not have a son, It is not one of three (Trinity), that is why out of respect to Allah we can’t allow you to use this.”But when we Muslim, when we write in English we say God, or when we talk to people we say God but we mean “Allah”…but they cannot say when they speak about God it means “Allah” as they don’t mean it.So in this particular respect, we have to be clear about this, not was-was (hesitate)... whomever responsible in our governing, they have to be clear about this and to explain to others. We agree you want to use God, then use Tuhan as we also use that…but we understand in the Malay language that Tuhan is not a translation of Allah ..that is why we say “tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah” not “ tiada Tuhan melainkan Tuhan ”. We don’t say “there is not God but God”..at least the ulama’ among the Muslim Malays, we understand what is the meaning of that (word “Allah”).So “Allah” cannot be translated as no language has translated Allah. The Arabs themselves they only use that after Islam..although the word existed (before)..the Christians Arab they also did not use Allah (in theological, epistemological and ontological sense in the same manner as the Muslim)..if they say that it is just a language..they talking about language..because they say “Allah” like the Muslim when they ( melatah )…So it appears they want to do that in order to confuse the Muslim into thinking that all the same.. that is why I say one of the problems about religion is the nature of God.. about who Allah is.. that is why in Arkanul Iman (The Pillars of Faith), the first thing is “ amana billah ”. “Who is this Allah?” and that need to be explain at higher institution in a proper way…So we have answer the question. It is not proper to allow them using this, since they asking us and there is no point bringing this to court since this is not a matter of court to decide it whether they have the freedom to use it or not. It is up to the Muslims.But then if they used it and said “in Indonesia they have use it, why can’t we?”…but it is because of the Muslims..if Muslims don’t care they will go on and use it..and in Indonesia they are using not only that, other things they even call it “choir” as “ selawat ”. Choir is not a “ selawat ”, as “ selawat ” is for Prophet..it’s not singing hymn..And they also talk about..in Indonesia they are also confuse..Muslims. .that is why this thing happen. Sometimes the language when you come across English words like “Prophet of Doom” in Indonesia they said “Nabi celaka”. How can there be “Nabi celaka”? What is meant by the “Prophet of Doom” is…even the word Prophet in English does not mean “Nabi” only…it means “ yang meramalkan malapetaka ”..that what it means…so the “Prophet of Doom” means “ yang meramalkan malapetaka ”, not “Nabi celaka”.They (the Muslims in Indonesia) seem not to bother about this. What we can say is that ultimately well they say “God is not Allah”...well if you want to use the word God, we are saying we also use the word God, we refer to Allah as we know and we are not saying that your God ultimately will not refer to Allah. You can’t run away from Allah. You can only escape Him and so in the Qur’an (surah An-Naas) says: “ Qul aAAoothu birabbi annas, Maliki annas, Ilahi annas ”. He (Allah) is saying “ I am the real Ilah (God) of naas (mankind)”, although mankind (non-Muslim) does not interpret it that way.
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Read on Prof. Syed Muhammad Naquib al-Attas
Wallahu'alam. For the truth is best known by The Lord, Allah SWT.
Recently, I saw some of my contacts in FB joining a certain group which is hating a certain individual. This individual apparently has put up a status update in FB claiming a certain people from a certain state in Malaysia (man! it is so difficult to talk/write/think in cryptic!) is not of a good manners. This individual used vulgar words on the status update which could be read by the masses! It sparked an outrage from the said state, they banded up together (and sadly use vulgar words in return) to demand apology from the individual. Last I checked, the individual has not apologise for the statement made.
Firstly, what a stupid way to vent out your frustration. You have your real name there together with pictures including that of your parents and family members. Don't you know that nothing is private on the net?
Secondly, how embarrassing that such person for such stature could go so low when expressing feelings and anger. The anger might be justified, but the words, certainly not.
Thirdly, if you're brave enough to make such statement, be brave enough to admit your fault and apologise.
And to the people of the state who are being so united in asking for justice, I applaud your cause. However, it's sad to see that some of them went to the individual level just to prove a point. Be smarter in voicing your opinion, people. And believe me, most of us are with you in this situation. I, myself, has personal interest in it because of circumstances. So, in your quest to be heard, be respectful of others.
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The Quest to be Heard
Modern Malaysians, most specifically in this case, modern Malays are beginning to forget their beginnings. As much as I support freedom of speech and being open-minded as well as straight forward, I don't applaud the actions of being rude. As much as some of us want to believe that monarchy is no longer irrelevant, truthfully, it is more relevant than ever.
As the new generation gets carried away with the highways of the new millennium lifestyle, we slowly close our hearts to our origins. Well, the monarchs are partly to be blamed because they seemed so far fetched from the people, thus giving the wrong impression. Let's not air dirty laundries by talking about morality and faiths, because a monarch is still only human. What I would like to point out is merely human-to-human contact between the blue blooded with the race of the world.
It does not mean because you're a royalty you're better than the rest of the people. It just means that you have more responsibilities to answer to. And to the rest, just because we know they are just human like us, it does not mean we can be disrespectful. Tulah or daulat might not be around (that much) anymore, but that is not an excuse to be rude. This people have families too, just like us.
So, in the quest of being heard, I believe we should stay true to ourselves and our origins besides being civilised and classy while shouting.
Well, people! I am back from my wedding vacation, and may I confidently say that I looked good in my wedding get-ups! However, festive vacations normally will destroy your diet plans and obviously your exercise regimes! I did not work out for almost six weeks and it showed!
As soon as I was able to get back to the gym, I renewed my personal training sessions. This time I bought 25 sessions which also include kick-boxing sessions. I don't have regrets eventhough my whole body is sore every time. Kick boxing really proves a total body workout!
Read the rest of the post here: Don't Cheat!
Lots and lots of people are taking up photography. Seriously, they say. But have you ever wondered, are you really a photographer?
I mean, you spent what... at least two thousand ringgit just to start of. Get a DSLR and the kit lens. And later after few clicks on your camera, and more clicks on the internet to see how other DSLR photographers are doing, you suddenly realise that your photos are not as good as theirs. Blur lah. Over exposed lah. Under exposed. Shaking lah. Then you go into the forum and ask how to reduce or eliminate all those all together.
And the advices and suggestions come rolling in...
...new lens; wide angel, telephoto, macro
...bigger flash dude/babe...
...haiyaa... get a tripod lar...
...play with those imaging software... can enhance here and there!
...attend photo shoot classes lar... can shoot models wooo!
And guess what, slow and steady you start doing it one after another. And finally you get the courage to get involve with the weekend photo shoots. Wooohooo... "I am so proud of my pictures..." Really? Or is it actually a smug feeling being able to shoot a half-dressed woman and not being smacked on your head?
I recently told The Hubby that if the terkangkang and terbelah that you want to shoot, I could do that in the privacy of our own room! All in the name of his art of course!
Anyway, I'm digressing from the real reason of this post is written. What I want to say is, if you're really a good photographer, it does not matter if there is a hot model posing for the pictures, you will be able to get The angle and The photo. The hot model is just a prop. Even when she's not posing nicely, you would still be able to shoot a great photo. She does not even have to be half-dressed!
Having said that, I am, myself, a photography lover. It runs in the family apparently. Abah loves to take pictures since he was in school, but did not pursue the hobby because it was very expensive. It IS still an expensive hobby. But we, the new generation, would rather spend the money for the hobby, then let it sit in the bank and grow.
If you don't trust me, look at the photography forums. A lot of them are selling their gadgets because they "need the money urgently". Granted, there are those who are selling to upgrade. The difference is that, the second group has extra moolah to spend on the hobby. The first one, does not.
I have been playing with the idea of going into DSLR mania for the past couple of years. But I always think about whether or not there's going to be some profitable return like what The Hubby is doing. Don't want to be "hot hot chicken shit" lah...
It has been a month. Can't really say much about being married and domesticated yet. We've been all over the places that we hardly spend real quality time together. :-) Owh... we did go and watch a movie last Friday. Avatar. He he he... Our first movie night together as husband and wife.
So, for this post, I suppose I shall list all the firsts that we have done so far as husband and wife. He he he... So cheesy, I know... but I'm feeling very cheesy today... It's our one month anniversary! :-p
- First destination that requires air travel: Kuching Sarawak
- First airline used: AirAsia (what else?! ha ha ha)
- First shopping complex we visited: SPRING, Kuching
- First shopping done together: F.O.S in Spring
- First breakfast together: Tea and bread (?) at 5am...
- First movie we watched: AVATAR at Jusco Cheras Selatan
- First local holiday destination: Bukit Tinggi, Pahang
- First international holiday destination: Koh Samui, Thailand
Hmm.. I want to find another two firsts, but can't seem to dig it out. Maybe I shall wait for the ones which matter most. And having said that, imagine all the other firsts that we could be doing together! I hope, before we begin to add new entities into our union, we should do our best to achieve as much firsts together as we can, while we can!
The measure of a couple's happiness is set by the couple, not anyone else. And I'm not just saying this to remind myself, it's just a fact.
So, can you suggest what's the next firsts that Mr CapalPerak and I should be doing?
I know... I know... I have been guilty of not updating. And I have lots of reasons (excuses?) for it. So, before I resume my usual blabbering, let me just wish you all a very happy 2010! My new year was celebrated with new family members in Kuching, with home karaoke sessions and fireworks!
I just got back to work yesterday. And my boss did not exactly welcome me back, he just said there are a lot of work to do. Some new year mood to set, eh? Anyway, I shall start this year's post with some things (realistic things) that I wish to accomplish within the next six months. They are not exactly new year resolution... I don't like resolutions. I never make them come true. Well, except in few occasion... ;-)
- Be more gentle towards my husband... TLC bebeh!!
- Maintain positive attitude at work, with the boss and colleagues, and also towards work
- Smile more, breathe deep more; this is to avoid feeling irritated every few minutes!
- Regular exercise, even if I decide not to continue with my personal trainer; if I can make it on my own last time, I can surely repeat the success
- Maintain positive attitude towards money and finance, I can be wealthy despite my commitments
- Seriously start a business
- Continue learning French language, even if I quit the current company, it will come in handy
- Constant facial and massage sessions
- Constant spiritual enrichment
So, there you go. Not so much different from your plans I believe. Owh... I should add one more to the list;
- Positively manage the pressure from family and friends of making/getting babies
I remember those days when I was on my own. I kept on thinking why are those people who are rougher, more out-spoken and probably slightly "evil" able to find their other half so early? I mean, these are not necessarily nice people, but still, they have someone who love them enough that the men decided marriage it is!
