Tell me,

...is it wrong....

• ... to feel sad and disappointed when your best friends could not accompany you on your wedding day (at the other side)?
• ... to feel sad and disappointed when your best friends seem not to have the sensitivities to offer help with the planning?
• ... to feel sad and disappointed when your other half would rather spend time with his friends than you?
• ... to feel sad and disappointed when your future sister-in-law is being treated extra special?
• ... to feel sad and disappointed when you suddenly realised that you're not as special as you thought you were?
• ... to feel sad and disappointed when you actually feel sad and disappointed about the above things?
• ... that because of all the above, you suddenly feel... so alone?

I'm venting out. It has been so long since I've done this. Somehow, I fear that I would hurt other people feelings. And because I'm not blogging quite so anonymously as before, people will talk and speculate. Maybe I should resort to a new anonymous blog for venting out.

I don't like questioning myself and my values. I don't like it when my consideration of other people's feelings makes me do just that. I don't like not knowing what's the right thing to do. And lately, I have been swallowing and stomaching everything. I don't like this choked up feeling. In short, I hate the state that I am in now.

And so, if people talk and speculate upon reading this entry, let it be. It makes me breath easier by letting it all out. By not admitting that my life has its ups and down, I'm being a hypocrite. By actually saying the truth I risk the bad responses that comes with it. So.

Maybe this is just the stress talking.