Indulgence

My Lunch. Salmon Spaghetti and Strawberry Juice.


And the desert. Claira.


...and my solemn wish!

Not Today

Okay, so I thought, how hard could it be to actually love someone, eh? Given time, God willing, that familiar feeling will blossom.

Then I stop to think. Hey, wait, how exactly that familiar feeling feels? For the love of me, I could not remember! Maybe it has been too long since the last I dare to confess such tremendous adoration. Or maybe I subconsciously do not want to remember, what with all the heartaches and heartbreaks and mental disorder (okay, this is exaggerating) that I've been through. Maybe I am just jaded and couldn't care less. Ha ha.

I can easily care for people, especially when they are always nice to me. But caring is far from being in love, isn't it? Don't get me wrong, I am not desperate to fall in love. I have learnt that it cannot and will not be forced. It either grows in you or it's just there.

I remember those years when I gave it all. Not a very bright thing to do, but there you go. That's Jade for you. Wearing her heart on her sleeves, or... was it... nahh.. never mind. Anyway, I loved and lost. And I loved unconditionally. And maybe, that's the problem.

These days, I find myself easily getting extremely annoyed on things that I found silly or wasting my time or just plain boring. Not that I think highly of myself, but at times, too much of silliness is just beyond me and I feel as if I do not have time to play games of heart or being in the state of unsure. DNAS will say I'm being complicated again. :-p

Maybe it's aging process. Ha ha. I like being silly and childish, but not all the time. I enjoy time wasting banter but not always. I do not mind explaining to clarify things, and repeat myself once or twice, but not more than that. I can be goofy in an instant. I'm eccentric. I'm funny. I feel guilty when I had to walk on the floor that has just been mopped by the cleaner. I am sad to see old people still working as security guards or cleaners. I cry seeing kids in the hospital. I don't like my meal to be interrupted with blind people with fully functional escorts. A friend told me once he became more charitable when he was going out with me.

I love music that suits my mood at the moment. I listen to chanel 111 in the mornings while preparing to go to work and have my breakfast. I watch cartoons. I adore Spongebob Squarepants. I have emotional attachment to Balthazar, the actor AND the character. I love babies, they are so cute and smell nice all the time. I adore the male gender, their stupidity is beyond my comprehension yet their compassion sometimes amaze me.

And I digressed too much, I forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. Ha ha. Short term memory lost, like Dory in Finding Nemo.

Now, today you know more about Jade. This is not merely a posting. This is self-revelation. Why I do it, I don't know. Maybe I'm just beginning to see the real me.

Untitled

He said, "I'm supposed to take care of you. I'm your knight in shining armor. They call me Sir Whine-A-Lot."

And I asked his permission to quote him.

After I had the biggest laugh of the day.

Once, SS, NF and I used to talked about how these days, guys are more emotional than girls. And how girlfriends have to pamper their boyfriends more than the boys did the girls. How boys these days whine more than girls.

The reality is, these things happen. Boys need a lot more TLC than they are willing to admit and probably deserved. Girls, by nature, are of course the more caring being. But girls want boys to care about them too. However much we want boys who can shed a tear, we adore men who can muscle through the crowd and chop the wood. Well, those might not be the most interesting anologies, but you get what I'm trying to say, right?

Let's not generalise. Let's just talk about yours truly.

I want a man who is a man. I don't mind listening to his whining, every now and then, as long as he finds solution to his problem. I don't mind listening to his worries, as long as he values my input and suggestions, and stop to think that maybe I can actually be right. I want a man who has confidence in himself. I want us to take care of each other and not to rely only on one person to make things work. I want both of us to be appreciative on the other's efforts and show how much we mean to each other. I want us to realise our own imperfections and to accept each other's shortcomings. I want mutual respect.

If these are too much to ask, then please tell me that I'm wrong to expect all these.

But if what I shared were too much, then how did other people do it? Their relationships work. Is it because they are not expecting a lot and they just make do? Is that enough?

There is no relationship without trials. A real relationship is never smooth sailing. One who says so, is lying. But a good partnership will make the relationship works, they will be able to find the solution to the problems they face.

And when the other person says, "You're a wonderful person to be with", will it be crazy to actually believe it or insane not to?

ps: Film to watch: Guess Who. I like the dialogue between Percy Jones (Bernie Mac) and Simon (Ashton Kutcher) at the railway station, towards the end of the movie.

Water, water and more water

Yesterday, the family and I went driving all the way to Sg. Gabai for a weekend spree to the waterfalls. I expected there'll be a lot of people, but never I imagined the roads, the river and the falls would be spitting humans! Good Lord!

Children running amok and screaming. Adults, well being adults. The men reading newspapers if not in the water with the kids. The women, doing what women do. Cook. Or preparing plates of nasi lemak. One thought came to me, "kesian". I mean, don't get me wrong. It's just a little unfair that the women still have to deal with the food preparation and not enjoying the getaway to the fullest. But maybe, for the mothers, the piercing scream of her children is enjoyment enough. The knowledge that the children are happy. I sincerely hope the husbands do not take the wives for granted and always tell them their are blessed to have them in their lives. A wishful thinking? I hope not.

Anyway, we knew we arrived late. There were no more parking, so we had to walk quite a distance to reach the falls. My brother said that we should go up to a higher spot but it seemed unlikely, since it would mean Abah won't be going up with us. So, we decided just to stand at the stairs and ate the junk food we brought. 20 minutes later we walked back to the car.

On the way to Gabai, I noticed a signboard of an AgroTek Resort. So, I alerted my brothers in the second car to watch for the sign board. We arrived at the place some 15 minutes later.

We had our lunch, ikan bakar kukus which I tell you, is delicious. I've always maintained that to know whether an eating place serves good food, you just have to try the nasi goreng cina. I was not disappointed. The fried rice was very tasty. We each ordered different drinks. There were watermelon, apple, orange and carrot juices. I ordered what was named "Beautiful Feeling" (green coloured).

Nasi Goreng Cina and Ikan Talapia Bakar/Kukus

Sup Sayur

The place itself was nice. There were chalets and halls for functions. I'm thinking of garden wedding... ha ha ha. Anyway, we didn't have the chance to explore the place since it started to rain. After letting the food set, we went back to the car and started the journey back. I'll let the pictures tell the rest.

The water from the hills. This used to be its own stream, but they put concrete alongside and underneath for safety of the children, or so they said. The actual waterfall is about 1km walk from the resort.

So, people, if you require a weekend getaway, or just plush greenery for a change, head to Agrotec Garden Chalet Resort in Hulu Langat.

Orange!!

I did not know how it happened. I ended up having a nice dinner and a long stemmed rose. DNAS will be flabbergasted.

It all started with my phone call. I was going to be in SA for meeting and the place will be nearby to where he was. So, I called to ask if he wanted to go back together. And so we did. Dropped by the house to keep my laptop and went out again to have dinner. I was so against to have dinner outside in the midst of all the dating couples making cow's eyes to each other. But he was craving for tomyam, so I relented.

We went to the Amarin at MidValley Megamall. No pictures, sorry. I ordered fried kuey-teow and he had the feast. Although I mengecak too. He ordered plain rice with tomyam and pandan chicken. The tomyam was served in young coconut, a first for me, with the coconut filling cut rectangularly. It was very nice.

To me, we were just having our normal dinner. Like any other dinners before. We did not make any reservation. I was still in my work clothes and so was he. We even went into a little disagreement over something so silly. The rest of the people, especially the girls were dressed up nicely, had their hair and nails done, even if it was just to eat tomyam!

We walked around after dinner, not realising it was getting late and the place was closing. We rushed to the carpark only to come to a long line of cars waiting to exit the building. So we decided to go and have a drink. We played cards (I won mercilessly, of course... although I have a feeling it was planned... hmm...) while waiting for the traffic to ease.

As we were about to leave, the staff wished us "Happy Valentines Day" to which I jokingly remarked, "Duh.. tak der bunga pun? Wish jer?" and laughed it off. He, excused himself to the washroom. Ha ha ha... I really cannot relay this romantically enough when the geture was just that. I was watching the TV while waiting for him, and suddenly a hand snaked over my shoulder with a stalk of rose. :-P

I said I don't need flowers, and he said, it's okay, it's not Valentine's day anymore. True enough it was almost 1am. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Being Jade though, instead of blushing and stutter, I started to blabber on the meaning of orange-coloured rose. I did comment that the flower was beautiful, and the colour was very nice, right? To which he responded, he didn't care the meaning of the colour because to him it means something-I-do-not-want-to-say-here.

I slept soundly through the night, very possible with a smile plastered on my face. See? It does not take much to make Jade happy in her sleep. He he he...

About Love

Remember the times when relationships first blossomed? The time when both boy and girl wanted to impress one another. The time when boy and girl both accomodated each other. The time when time and money spent were never an issue. The time when all was soft and dewy and beautiful. The time boy and girl were in heaven.

Then, the comfortable feeling sets in. And the changes begin.

Why is it that when we get into out comfort zone, we start to take things for granted? Is this behaviour coded into our genetic pattern? Can we not go on impressing each other and life is all about wine and chocolate and roses?

This is not about wanting to live in a fantasy or fairy tales or dreamland.

This is about showing our love and affections. This is about being grateful and thankful. This is about celebrating our other halves. This is about wanting to feel needed and wanted always. This is about making the relationship warm always, and occasionally hot and sizzling.

As the commercialised day closing in, you see elaborated advertisements and promotions. Roses and chocolates values are increasing. And you see people making phone calls for reservations and deliveries. Girls are thinking of the dresses that they want to wear, the looks that they want to go for. Boys, well, obviously they'll be thinking of the money that they will have to spent to make the girls happy. At the very least, the girls will be anxiously waiting for the roses or chocolates or teddy bears or The Card. And the boys, are scratching their heads on what to buy. (Damn! Everything is so bloody expensive!) Ha ha ha...

I have never had any Valentine's Dinner or roses and chocolates on 14th February. And I'm not expecting to get any this year (this is not a hint for a dinner or a bouquet) either. But it is fun to see people get dressed up to impress.

Anyway, I digress. The point I'm trying to make is this, let's celebrate love everyday. Let's impress each other everyday. Reality is the lives that we live in and we can never run away from it. If we keep thinking of the money that we spent, or the time that we consumed, we can never celebrate our love to the maximum.

I am not saying you should spend all you have, no. Because celebrating love is not about how much you spend, how big the gift is or how huge the diamond is. Celebrating love is not about expecting gold chains or diamond rings. It is also not about spending the weekend in Caribbean or Bali.

Celebrating love is about making our partners feel wanted and needed and appreciated. Celebrating love is about being thankful that God has bestowed upon us someone who loves us and someone for us to love.

You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.

As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.

It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.

- Laura Baker -

Go back to 2006

Movie: Blood and Chocolate

Publish
I think I've made a point to tell you that I love anything magical and supernatural. Last night I met Silver to watch Blood and Chocolate. You can read the synopsis here and review here. I did not know for sure it was based on a book, but suspected it. A search on Google, confirmed it.

Let's talk about the movie, since I have not read the book. I love the cinematography. The part where the transformation takes place, humans changing to wolves, that was awesome. The way it was done made it so realistic that it's easily believable. It was beautiful.

They could do with more variety of wolves though. The ones they showed in the movie looked similar. And wolves are supposed to be beautiful and handsome. The bad guy character is too lame and he died too easily. Silver was disappointed that Gabriel was not as tough as he looked like. The main character, Viviane, was traumatic because of a tragic event when she was small. Her family was killed by hunters in th US so she went back to Romania and to live with her aunt, Astrid. Gabriel and Astrid had a son, Rafe who was a renegade.

As the pack leader, Gabriel is to choose a new mate every 7 years. I thought wolves mate for life? Anyway, there was this scene in a club, whe Astrid tried to seduce him, to which he said, "Every one of us ages, Astrid. We just have to do it gracefully". I hate that. This is a very typical male statement. :-P

Anyway, the story went that Viviane was supposed to mate with Gabriel, and she is said to be the chosen one, who will bring a new age to the werewolf clan. Viviane, a teenager, fell in love for the first time, with a struggling artist/writer, Aidane. Aidane writes a graphic novel about werewolves. They met when he was doing his research.

So, that is as far as I will tell. Go and watch if you are into vampires and werewolves. If you watched Underworld, then you might not want to miss this.

Overall, the story is very straight forward. I might get the book, although apparently it's a teenage reading. That does not matter, because Jade is forever young, eh?

ps: I may have missed it, but I did not hear any wolf howling in the movie. Strange, isn't it, for a werewolf story?

pps: I have bought the second book of the Black Magician Trilogy, The Novice.

Babbling for today

A school boy came home with his exam result held at the back. Mom and dad is sitting on the couch, reading. The boy walked slowly towards his parents. Dad put down his newspaper. Boy handed over his result. Dad looked at it. It was a C. On screen, it was displayed "From E to.."

Roughly, that was what I remembered from last night advert by Pizza Hut. It motioned that there is always a reason to celebrate. With their pizza, of course.

Anyway, what intrigued me is the idea to celebrate a C. Which is quite an improvement from an E. But how many of us actually do this? As far I could remember, the only one "E" that I received made me feel so stupid and I cried myself silly because never in my life have I had a red mark in my report cards through out school. And to actually receive one during uni was a devastating blow. In fact I paid the fee for the paper to be re-evaluated. But the result remained the same. I resit the paper, and hey! what an improvement, a B+. U can't get an A u see, if you resit a paper. That was my target initially, an A, that's why the E made me crazy for a while.

Throughout my school years, excellent results were expected. I was one of the students that always went up the stage at the end of the year for prize giving ceremony. (Bragginggggg!!) The point I'm trying to make is that, A or B was expected, always. E is unthinkable. And you can't possibly improve an A, can you?

I guess, what I'm trying to say is that the advert gave out an important message (besides go and eat their pizza). Excellent results are well deserved celebration, but improvement also is. In fact, an improvement is something should be rejoiced more, because it take a lot of effort to improve. A lot of determination. A good way to boost a kid's confidence.

When the kid comes back with a little of improvement, celebrate it. Put aside the advice for subsequent targets. Let it be for a day and night. Rejoice on the current result. Some people that I know, when the kid comes back, shows the result, a string of new challenges and 'advices' are given. Cut the kid some slack, will ya?

Well... you get what I mean. Today in the news, the Higher Education Minister said that our students in the UK are shy and not involved. Let me tell you Mr. Minister, maybe your evaluation to send students overseas should not only rely on the result on paper. It should also include their persona and attitude. Maybe that will make a difference.

I'm an Engineer?! Huh?

I just collected my newly printed name cards today. To my surprise, my designation is different from the one that I remembered I chose when I applied at the system. Some words are missing and the one that is left is "Engineer".

So, does this means I should be asking for an engineer's salary? He he he... it'd be really, really awesome if I can do that though. Engineers are one of the people who basically cop duit. He he he... Wishful thinking, eh?

Pudica is privatised now. But the new CEO wants to maintained the R&D image, thus anything that incur business is considered... foreign (?). One of its units has been detached few months back. There is a rumour floating around that the same thing will happen to the unit I'm in too. But so far, it's still a rumour. But, hey... this unit actually generates a LOT annually, and it seems like we never actually see the green papers because everything goes back to the mothership. I am not sure how I feel about this; this unit being extracted. Sounds scary.

Apparently it's just my luck that I always move when there is restructuring or reorganising going on or new captain holding the reins. However, it's the knowledge that interest me the most. For now. I'd probably give it a couple of years.

This morning I was away in Damansara meeting up with my partner. Prior to today's discussion, I had supplied the programmer with the necessary documentations to help him understand the flow, the modules and the functions that he needs to call. And today I found out that he did not read them with the reason: "The documentation is too thick, lahh..." I was speechless. Adooiii...

BOOK Reviews!!

I've always been a sucker of anything magical and mystical. Last week, as I browsed through the racks in MPH, The Curve, I saw this...

It took me about one and a half days to finish it, with breaks in between of course. I've never read any books written by Trudi Canavan before, but this first taste left me wanting more.

The Magicians' Guild is the first book in the Black Magician Trilogy. It's a tale of magic (of course!) and politics and life. A young teenage girl from the slum accidentally found herself magically gifted when she threw a stone to a magician with hate and anger, bypassing the protective barrier casted by the magicians. Thus, begin the journey of Sonea and her rebel friends in an attempt to run away from being captured by the magicians.

The magicians have a good reason to capture her though. It's because, an untrained magician will in the end destroy herself/himself and anything around her/him because the inability to control the powers. And a naturally adept magician is more powerful than those who has to learn. As Sonea's power become a pot of uncontrollable magic stew, the people who are closed to her started to drift away because of fear.

She was lucky though that the magician who will be her Guardian later, took a lot of effort to make her trust him and believe that she could make a difference with her new found power. As she got used to the life in the Guild, she learned of betrayal, honesty and the forbidden art of black magick.

The book glued me to the end. And I could not wait to get the second installment of the trilogy. The next book will be The Novice which entailed Sonea's joining the Guild officially. The third book is The High Lord.

I also picked up this book on the same day. I just finished reading it yesterday evening.

This chic lit by Tasmina Perry is a fast, sexy, scandalous and delicious read. Daddy's Girls is a story about four famous and successful sisters who were the daughters of and English Lord, a one Lord Balcon. Although there was no love lost between the father and the daughters, family loyalty and siblings bonding were strongly potrayed in the novel.

Venetia, Camilla, Cate and Serena were borned with silver spoon. They can have everything that money can buy. And as any other stories about high class families, there will be murders, betrayal, conspiracies, financial disaster and relationship disasters. It's your typical The Bold and The Beautiful (not that I watch this series) in paperback.

This book is actually Ms. Perry's debut novel in 2006. The story started of with a handful of originalities, although towards the end it became like any other novel. But her attempt to inject a bit of mystery and conspiracy theories is commendable. It's a good escape reading whilst imagining yourself to have all those luxuries, advantages and of course, money.

Now I am officially run out of books to read... Hmm... Maybe I should just drop by the bookstore again, and buy The Novice...