Relationship of gratitude

I guess our society has grown so much. We have became more liberal. We are more open-minded than before. Why do I say so? Well... just look at the coverage and well wishers for the recent wedding of the year. Because at the end of the day she's just another woman who got involved with an older man and he is just another man who go for a younger woman. On the other side there's the widow travelling overseas, with broken heart, I suppose, and a little boy who had his dreams burnt to ashes. Surely, it can be traumatising for as young as an eight year old.

Anyway, is gratitude enough to sustain a relationship?

This question arose in my mind when a dear friend that I consulted for a certain matter of the heart told me that she is not THAT happy, she is just grateful. Because she said reality is harsh and it's just a matter of making the decision, right or wrong, and making the best of it.

So, I wonder, is gratitude enough to build a relationship? I would want to be head over heels in love with my other half and he feels as strong for me, maybe stronger. I would want to be delirious happy and can say out loud, "Look world, this is the man who really loves me", and proud saying so.

Naive? Childish? Maybe. But, I am all for happy every afters. Even with the occasional hardships or tears, there can still be happy ever afters. I know, because I can just look at my parents to know it's true. Or remember my late grandparents. Someone told me before that these days relationships are not as they were in the old days. It's not so long ago, and I still believe the same values are there.

The thing is we can only assume what will happen in the future with the decision we make today. And nothing is for sure. And it's not all about luck or fate or as the Malays always say, "dah takdir, dah rezeki, doakanlah kebahagiaan dia/kami". Come on. How can you build happiness with tears from other people? I don't believe that. It might be a fairytale wedding, but will it be a fairytale marriage?

We know, God has spoken, that He would not change the future of the people if the people themselves do not try to change the future. So. It's not all about fate and takdir and destiny. Yes, our course of life has been ordained. But it changes accordingly with the choices that we make. The people we hurt or the charity that we gave. God said that every Muslim will go to heaven, but how they arrive there would be different. Some will have the easier way some will burn in hell first. And this happen because of the choices they make during their lifetime.

Anyway, I digressed. I always do that, don't I? He he he...

I don't want a relationship based on gratitude. It will make both parties to be obligated to unspoken agreement. It might meant crying silently, alone. It might meant living a facade with a fake smile plastered on the face. It might mean not living the life that little girl wished for years and years back. Life can be sad and hard, only if we choose it to be.

I am not against polygamy. But neither am I a woman who shares willingly. I doubt there are many women who are willing to share. But they conscented because they have to. Because it would make the husband happier. And what is a wife if not to live and makes her husband happy, isn't it? Whether or not the husband makes the wife happy in return is not a question to be asked. That is the reality of life and society that we live in, people. Sad, but true.

So, my mum said to me the other day, "Jangan ambil suami orang...".