August 17, 2006

A penny for your thoughts..

When an engagement did not work out as planned, it is embarassingly dissapointing that one should feel dejected, when the other person is not even one's other half thus eliminating any obligation to be fulfilled to make one happy. If one feels sad about it, it's one's own fault for knitting a web of illusions around oneself. One should not blame the other person for feeling like a nincompoop after all has been said and done. One should move on.

Thus, learning from this past mistake, I have learnt not to expect much from a promise made by another person. Especially when it comes to the matters of the heart. You know how ladies like to interpret men's words into their own leisure and advantages when what the men meant was just what they said? And if they didn't call when they said they will, that's just part of their nature and ladies should just move on because it's just not worth the time spent waiting for the phone to go ring ring. And if men decided to disappear without a trace after several dates they are actually trying still to be the nice guys that they are by not telling the ladies to the face that they, the ladies, are just not The One, when after several outing the ladies have actually started to plan the white picket fences, the family cat/dog, the barbeque set and the 2.3 kids.

You see, for most ladies, dating one man at a time is just part of genetic make up. It's just not done to go string dating. It's not proper. People will talk. Parents will have attacks of migraines. Neigbours will start to whisper. And labelling will start.

But the fact that putting hopes and dreams to one date, in these days, this millenium, is just not the most intelligent thing to do, makes it difficult for a one-man woman to go out and meet the right guy. Because there is no telling if the first person they meet is The One.

Having said that, I am not naive to assume that all women avoid string dating. Most, like yours truly, slowly adapt to the current wave and live on. It is a painful process. You know you like the person very much and you could actually see that white picket fences because you're just compatible but you also know that it might not happen. So.

So, feelings are kept at bay, in the initial part of the evolution, it's an act. The feelings are already there, but you have to pretend that you're casual about the whole thing. In time however, it becomes second nature. And this is where the trouble starts to loom.

Because, this is when you start to meet emotional guys. Ironic, isn't it? It's like the tables are turned, and now then men are seeing the picket fences. By this time, the women feel that the men are too clingy for their tastes. Hillarious. Sad. But true.

I might be too dramatic in describing the situation. But it happens. I've seen it.

Anyway, like I said, there's no point to wait by the phone and putting life on hold just for that one phone call that might not ever come. Good men are scarce, so if that phone call does not happen within 24 hours, don't feel bad about yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. The sparks are just not there. And move on to pick the diamond amongst the broken glasses. If your date suddenly disappear after a couple of outing, move on, he's not worth you chasing him. Remember the rule, if a man really likes a woman, he'll chase you.

Right, it's hard to swallow your own presrcibed medicine most of the time. But you know it's worth it. So live life full. Ces't la vie!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Jade

"The pen has dried, the pages has been lifted: all events that shall come to pass have already been written"
-'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qaini

"Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us."
Al-Qur'an 9:51

Salam

Anonymous said...

jade, cuba lagi,tak semua lelaki macam tu... hehe...

Hajar said...

galing: always the wiser.. :-)
but there's such thing as free will and choices. even if it's ordained onto us, we are responsible of our actions, for we chose it as such. right?

batu: yer.. yer..

Nazrah Leopolis said...

oh well, when life gives you lemons, what should you do?

u know, when the guy finally arrives you will see how perfect the timing is. trust me.

Nour said...

hey girl,very well said!

Hajar said...

nazrah: err.. ice lemon tea? or just plain lemonade maybe..

nour: *blush*