July 31, 2010

When I Sincerely Get It…

I remember those days when I was still dateless, boyfriendless, partnerless. When I was on my own. And my friends, most of them were married, some with two and a half kids.

I remember, those days, though my family members were not hounding me about getting married anymore but was secretly wondering and hoping, as well as soundlessly indirectly hounding me about getting married. When not so close friends, or just found long lost friends still asking why I was still single; do I hate men, do I swear off marriage, or just secretly wondering whether I was well... not straight.

I remember amidst all that feeling left out, wondering why the coupledom train did not stop at my station. I recall doubting my self worth and principle. Whether I should just settle to get things over and done with. I remember feeling envious of my engaged or married or just dating friends. Although I was happy for them, I felt jealous that I don't have that significant other to share my day with.

So, I ranted about men in general, as much as I knew personally, directly or indirectly, through own experiences and observation. I talked about relationship as I see it, why they work and why they might just be a disaster. I wrote about how women should take control and be strong to speak up to make the relationship work for them too, so that they can be contented and happy too. I blogged about love and my idea of unconditional love and true love.

You must wonder where I am going with this lengthy prologue. Well it goes back at the door of my current life.

I have shared with some close friends about the recent changes that are happening in my life and even blogged about it. I tell the world about the happiness and the magical point at this stage of my life. And I knew as I was telling it, that people perception and acceptance will differ; whether they are my family members, close friends or strangers.

I knew that people will be happy for us, but depending on where they are in their lives there will be some mixed feelings. So, how could I begrudged them when I felt the same way in some what similar situation at a different stage of my life?

I just hope that as go through my life and moving on to mid-life (oh my God!) I will still have all the friends that I have now, single (if there still is!), married just-the-two-of-us or married with brood and bunches. I sincerely hope so.

Bottom line, I get it. I understand. So, anytime peeps, if you need to get away from me, just to recollect yourselves, anytime. I understand. And I still love you. Hey, I’m an aquarian after all. ;-)

4 comments:

maszuzu said...

ouhhh.... you have put it so well..can i re-post this? some part of it, just so I don't have to explain to people. I am at that moment you were in. but not the fact that why am not married, more like will i end up alone in this world, one of my best friend got married after long courting and I secretly her partner would still delay in marrying her and now that she is married, i secretly hoping that she won't get pregnant so fast but she did. not because i am an evil person, but just some side of me is feeling like i'm the last one standin...hopeless... re-post with credit to you of course"

Hajar said...

please do... :-) we will go through this situation in our lives. over a lot of things...

D.N.A.S said...

Adik manis..... jangan lupa buat baby shower...hehehehe

Hajar said...

DNAS: not yet kot.. still early kan? tunggu lamaaaaaaa sket... hehe..