Not Exactly F.A.T

This is how I have been feeling the past few weeks. My pants are getting tighter and tighter. So are my shirts. Baby Ts are now out of the question because my little tummy is peeking out underneath. Baggy T-shirts are the way to go. Sweat pants are heavenly.

But I don’t really care about walking into maternity stores while not yet exactly showing. I knew I have to get those clothes sooner or later. So, I decided, it’s okay to be sooner because I’m tired of wearing my pants unbutton or using the belly belt that makes me feel as if my pants will drop to my feet any minute! And I believe I look unsightly with my normal work shirts. Luckily I’m wearing my jacket these days since I’m stuck in the freezer room until this implementation phase is over.

I admit, it’s a bit unsettling when other people in the store are OBVIOUSLY pregnant! And I can feel their eyes on me. But i couldn’t care less. It’s my comfort that I am after and not society’s acceptance. Just because you don’t wear any maternity clothes before your 5th month, it doesn’t mean other people will do the same (This statement is dedicated to someone who looked surprised when she saw me with a shapeless gown the other day and said I’m wearing it too early. Ps: maybe because your non-pregnant clothes were sized XL? Sorry, was that rude?).

So, last week, I went to one of the stores and made some purchase. 3 pants, 3 tops, and I was flabbergasted with the total damage. And that is after 50% discounts! But I guess, that’s the price that you have to pay when you walk into those shops. Blurgh. I could go to one of the famous departmental stores, but when I saw the material, albeit the low price, I felt sad. So, to sooth my nerve, and my snobbish self, I guess, I just have to sacrifice a little more.

I’m happy with my purchase the other day. And today, I feel so relieved and relaxed with the pants, I could breathe easily and the top has more room than ever! InsyaAllah these clothes could be worn until full term and I know that’s money worth spent!

I am NOT fat. And yes, I am vain enough that I tell myself this almost everyday, almost every time I see myself in the mirror. Forgive me Allah, for committing one of the grievous sins one could commit… I am not perfect. I am only human. Sigh.