Most Unsettling Occurrences

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have nothing to complain but to always be grateful. I may not have so much excess monetarily, but in its place I am bestowed with other grandeurs and pleasures. And to always be thankful for what we have, we must always accept sincerely that Allah knows best and He give us what we need; not necessarily what we want.

While some people upon marital bliss, feel obliged(?) to dictate (advise sternly?) to their single friends or would-be wives the best course of managing the household plus the husband, I personally feel inadequate. In fact, I have no intention of giving unsolicited opinion when it comes to husband and wife relationship. For each couple is different.

However, there is one matter which disturb me gravely. As this matter happens to some of my friends, I am sure it is happening to those I am not privy of. Bottom line, husbands are providers. This person whom a wife has promised to stay true, putting her livelihood and future in his hands is the person who is ultimately responsible for the household matters and future of the family.

I have heard; in confidence; repressed feelings from those who are dear to me that their partners are not taking up the responsibility of providing. Whilst the husbands spend money on their hobbies and time with their friends, they apparently have forgotten to do two crucial things. Spend money on the household and time with the family (wife and kids).

Some husbands apparently take for granted the fact that their wives are career women. Thus, these capable ladies are not given pocket money, grocery money even money to buy the baby’s milk powder and essentials. Let’s not even touch money for the wives to buy their own clothes! In worst cases, the wives are the ones providing for the husbands…

I understand that in some household, the wives are the breadwinners, because they earn better pay. But that does not exclude the husbands from their responsibilities as the man of the house. Owh, they require the wives to treat them like a king, cook daily (maybe), clean the house, do the washing and so on. But they neglect to make the wives feel like a partner, instead of just a servant. It is sad, but it happens.

Relationship is a two-way street. Husbands are wise to remember that having a wife who could stand on her own is not a ticket to responsibility freedom, but that shows she does not need a man to live her life. Therefore, she could in any time, go to the Religious Department to request for the marriage to be annulled on the grounds of irresponsible husband. However, we don’t really see this happening, because wives after all are stoic creatures. Ever so loyal, ever so loving. That’s how women are built. We endure.

Until the day we choose to endure no more.

But, once children are in the calculation, there is another consideration. However, I personally feel that rather than have a harebrained of a husband as a role model for the kids, the women in this predicament, should they able to stand on their own, must be brave enough to do so. Make their stand. Yes, this is a little revolutionary, but we women must always prepare for rainy days. Hope and pray for the best, but always be prepared if the sun is fated to disappear.