In My Blah Mood

When Mak went to Mecca for her pilgrimage, Abah stayed behind because of his health. That was the longest separation the two had to went through, as far as I remember.

It was not an unpleasant period; just different. Abah was short tempered and moody almost all the time. He seemed a bit lost. The day Mak was to arrive back in KL, he wanted to be at the airport as early as possible. In fact, he left the house earlier than everyone else, one of my brothers accompanied him.

I could not understand at that time why he was behaving the way he did. But I do now. I found myself to submit to the conclusion that I AM my father's daughter after all. I am behaving the way he did. Almost exactly. There's a saying that goes something like this: "like losing a limb". It's a state where a person is not behaving like him/herself because part of him/her is missing.

Last weekend, I had a bowl of ice-cream; four scoops with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkle. I thought that it will increase my low endorphine state. I was wrong. It did not. Watching back-to-back-to-back-to-back episodes of Ghost Whisperer did nothing. Normally looking at the relationship of Melinda and Jim just make my heart warm and blossom in the most strange delightful way. It just made me feel worse because I miss my "Jim" a whole lot more!

A little chat with Momster revealed that she feels exactly the same when her hubby is not around. Although she has her gorgeous son to fill up the emptiness.

I need suggestion people! I need constructive opinion on how to get out of this rut! Because at this moment, I just want to stay at home and be anti-social.