Thou Shall Not Cook!!

We went to the pre-marriage (or is it pre-marital?) course two weekends ago. It was more like a refresher course for some of the topics. I would've love it anyway if they dive more on the topics, but I guess one and a half day is not enough to cram marriage into the participants' grey matter.

Almost all the presenters are great. We were prepared to be yawning and heavy eyed, instead we were given the one of the best lectures we've ever had. Two of the facilitators are not so great though; one being the "doctor" who turned out to be a PhD instead of a medical doctor. He seemed in hurry to finish his segment that we were done almost an hour before the time we should have. The other one was a version of the old preacher from the 80s. During his period, yerp, we could hardly kept our eyes open.

There were several times during the course when my eyes went teary. Especially when we came to this: "Kesetiaan seorang isteri memang hanya satu; untuk suaminya, tetapi kesetiaan seorang suami belum tentu hanya untuk isterinya" (A wife's loyalty is only for her husband, but a husband's loyalty is not necessarily only for his wife). The reason why the Ustaz mentioned this is to tell the men to appreciate their wives.

In my opinion, however much it saddened us to think about polygamy, a woman has to come to terms the fact that a man has the capability to love more than once. Whilst a woman will mourn for her dead husband longer than the required mourning period, a man could get married within months of losing his wife; for whatever reasons. It is a cross that a woman has to bear and accept. :-) Sad, but true. Having said that, and having come to terms with that fact, I still feel heavy hearted to share...

We were also told that we shouldn't be so nice to cook without being asked to. Because cooking is not required from a wife, unless her husband asks her to. He he he... This is the part where Cik Far exclaimed in delight that she's sooooooo loving it.

I guess people always forget that the man has to care for the woman. Even if he only has one wife he has to be fair to her. People are always talking about how a woman should behave when they have become someone's wife, the things that she should do to ensure her husband's happiness. But never do people talk about how a husband has the responsibility to make his wife happy and fulfilled. True, a man can go out of the house without telling the wife, but did they ever think about the consequences? When his "charge" is hurt and unhappy because of his actions, he is responsible and answerable to it.

I'm scared. Ha ha ha... Who says I'm not? Six, seven years ago when I felt so ready to be married, I didn't think so much about it. I mean, what comes after. All that I wanted was a husband and a married life. Yes, I was naive that way. But, Alhamdulillah, through His grace, I was spared having probably the most wrongest relationship ever.

And although I have to wait for hmm... years to find the right fit, I'm grateful. InsyaAllah, this is the best for me that He has planned wayyyyyy back for me. But, unlike before, I am scared. Scared that I cannot be the wife that I am supposed to be. God knows how temperamental I could be. And they are not all because of the time of the month! It could just be because of that stupid parking attendant. Or that pair of shoes that doesn't have my size available anymore. Ha ha ha...

Whatever it is, I'm ready for it. I'm scared, but I'm ready, insyaAllah. And I pray that He gives both of us His guidance throughout.