Rub-bish

Why is it that acceptance by the mass is so important? At least by the people who are close to us? Why do we need this unwritten approval in our lives to enable us to take the next step and move forward? Why do we need to justify what we do or say just so that people that we care won't feel hurt? Why must there be a standard in life to gain acceptance?

Why?

Frankly, I just want to say bloody well mind your own business. But honestly, I can't. And seriously, I do not know the answer for the questions. But that does not stop myself from wondering why...

I think we walk our lives with other people's expectations weighing on our shoulders. Sit back, and think through it. We let people dictate (perhaps, indirectly) what we should be doing. And not be doing. Malays are one polite society. There is no other races in the world which can rival the Malay's hospitality, values and believes. "Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat".

But, the pattern is changing.

Today, we are so liberalised that we say what we want and tell how we feel. The power of education? Or the influence of external cultures? I do not want to dwell much in the origins for it'll take longer time to blog.. and I would need references to support this. As much as I like to, I do not have the will to do it today. So, let's just come out with what I feel about this.

My father always say, when you pick up a stick, you pick both ends up. Ergo, when you do something, you take both the good and the bad effect of it. Nothing that you do, can only leave good aftermath, regardless how noble the deed was. Heh! Am in no mood of giving examples, I'm sure you can think of one... he he he... (yes, that's how lazy I feel).

So, today we are more open than before. But how open you want yourself to be, that's the after-effect you've got to decide. These days, I do not think anything can surprise me. Not anymore. Things that unthinkable 10 years back are happening in front of my eyes. And being me, I am not going to be judgemental. We are humans. Humans make mistake. Thus, we are in no position to deliver the ultimatum. In the end its tuan punya badan who is answerable.

Silence is golden.

I do not need to go back so many years to know that I'm ever so different than I was before. I need only to go back 5 years, tops. If back then my reality of life is green and blues, sugar and honey... Now, it's chocolate. Because, life can be sweet and bitter. It's the amount of sugar or milk that you put in that'll make the difference.

Our life is so short. Pejam celik, pejam celik, I'm going to cross over another decade soon. Will I be different then from who I am now? Of course! If I don't, that would mean, I did not live my life to the fullest. That would mean, I aged before I should.

And should I ever find other's acceptance of what I'm doing or saying, it'll be from the One who's judging me and delivering the ultimatum. These days, I live day by the day, tomorrow is just another day, and yesterday will remain yesterday.