Will of Stone

(WARNING: the title might not reflect the post)

God is Almighty. Everything that happens, is His will.

I use to have a LOT of personal opinion on a LOT of things. I rather not share what are those. But suffice to say that if once I thought things will always be round, I found out it can always change to be a cube. I found out life moves, values change. Things that were right yesterday may not be necessarily so today. I found out, I have changed.

When I was in school, life was practically straight forward. Get good grades. Go up the stage every year to receive awards. Be a prefect. Involve in story telling, writing and poetry. Recite the Holy Quran on religious celebrations. And so forth.

When I turned 17, life took a diagonal turn for me, and move forward again. However, from there on, the path was not that straight anymore. I do not think the choice I made back then was wrong. It was just another logical step, or so I thought, in my then straight path. But, God's power is not to be questioned.

I believe that whatever happens in our lives, though it's by our own design, because of the choices that we made and make, always, always, there is a good side out of it. Some would say the choices that you made were wrong, but if they look closely, it could actually meant you turned out to be a better person than before. Tears might be shed. Laughter might be surpressed. But whatever happens, it happened for reasons. And most of the time, you need not seek what the reasons are. You've just got to accept it.

Duhhh.. have I blogged about this before? Because I have this deja-vu feeling that I've uttered these words before. Sometimes when you do self-reflecting you tend to repeat that same ol' stories without realising it. I do realise that whenever I'm in this muhasabah mode, I tend to talk a LOT about choices. Because I feel, it all drills down to that, at the end of the day.

Having said that, I am reflecting while driving this afternoon. Back then I said a lot of things that I wouldn't do. But I realised today that in fact, I did some of them already, or am doing them. Thus, whenever this realisation came bashing my grey substance, I decide that from now on, keep my mouth shut, I shall. Silence paints a thousand word. (Yes, I change that well known phrase...)

In truth, I rarely speak my mind. For when I speak, it can be sharper than a thousand sword. Some people would not be able to handle it. And I believe, I might have lost few friends because of this nature. But then again, if they could not handle it, they might as well not be friends of mine. For if I can bear with their stupidity, shrewdness and impossibility, why shouldn't they do the same for me?

Alas, nothing is as simple as that. We say that we should treat people the way we want to be treated. In reality, this cannot happen at all. We expect too much from other people, but we give ever so little, if we indeed give. Ergo, we are not satisfied when people give nothing to us.

I watched Matrix Reloaded last night on Astro. Missed the first half an hour. When I watch it years back, I did not actually get what the Architect was telling Neo. Last night, I did. He was talking about... CHOICES. How ironic. The choices we make determine our future.

It is true that whatever happens because of God's will. But it is also true that whatever happens because we will it to happen. We choose it to happen.

Gosh, I'm getting bored talking about this. So must be you. Ha ha ha... Probably it's the rain. Probably it's the cold. Probably I'm getting old. And people say you get wiser as you get older. I found that to be so untrue. You can be 12 years old, but already an adult or a 45-year-old and still watching SpongeBob Squarepants.

Go figure.