April 30, 2008

So that I don't forget...

Yesterday, I went on a not-so-impulsive purchase. My two self-elected "personal shoppers" were there to entice and "poison" me. As I already had plans to make such purchase in not-so-near future, I don't blame them. Entirely.

As usual, after the payment was completed, the guilt started to creep in. The elated feeling last but only a little while...

And this morning, in the train, I was humbled. I couldn't stop myself from shedding few tears of humility and remorse. I thought about how much God has given me and yet I lamented and complained. There and then I felt small and insignificant. And I thanked Him for all that He's bestowed upon me. And it was all because a boy and his brother. I put the note here to remind me again in the future whenever I stray and start to forget.

I was about to sit down after the previous person who occupied the seat got off the train. That was when I saw a little boy about four or five years old started to sit crossed-leg on the LRT floor near the door. I signaled to his elder brother who was standing behind him to take the seat. The little boy was a bit frightened and refused to sit down. Only when the brother sat down, did he do the same. Both of them were wearing worn-out clothing, and forgive me God, but they emit a certain musky scent. That was when I started to feel this indescribable feeling and my eyes started to water. Here are two under-privileged boys, and it kept flowing back to me how the night before I just spent a huge sum of money that would mean a lot more to them. I couldn't get passed the feeling. I talked to the brother, to ease the feeling that started to consume me. How selfish I was. They are on their way to Jelatek to send the little brother to school. He finished school already although I didn't ask which level he completed. He look fairly young. He said now he's working. Preparing frozen food. The little boy had two pieces of 20 sen and a piece of 10 sen in his palm. He was playing with the coins and dropped one of the 20 sen piece. I told him to keep it in his pocket. He slowly took out his metal pencil box from his small school bag and arrange the coins nicely in it. I thought to myself, can 50 sen be enough for duit belanja these days? It was enough for me back then in the 80s. But now? I told him to study well and got off the train feeling I could do more than just living my life. Maybe one day, when I've achieved that, I'll share it with you. So help me Lord, for I want to do this.

Thank you God for saying "Hello" to me today.

2 comments:

The Momster said...

grateful we still get the knock on the head once in a while.

i hope the 50 cents is enough for him. to think that the fortunate kids complain with even rm5 in hand every single day. :(

Hajar said...

n|ns: less we forget...