Today, I want to talk about men. How hopeless and exciting they can be. No, this is not a men-bashing post. Just what I've observed. From my friends' experiences and from my own.
Men can be hoplessly, tediously romantic. They can be magnificent a**h*l*s as well. Of course, they can also wonderful mates or dashing suitors depending on the situation. Thus the phrase; Men - can't live with them, can't live without them.
As long as I can remember, men try to fit women to slots, trying to understand us, and women do the same thing in return. When the fact is, none of us can actually be fitted into a slot of other's definition. We are who we are. So much time are wasted trying to understand the opposite gender, when all that are left are to actually tolerate and love.
We play games with each other. Women playing hard to get because society deems women who give in too easily as cheap. Men act tough and macho for that image is deemed to be attractive to women. Why all these pretense? Why do we need to be someone else just to attract the other gender? When at the end of the day, all that matters is who we really are inside. And think about the disappointment when all is said and done, behind that mask is just another Jane or John Doe. Just a normal person.
The games actually keep things interesting. But the games also encourage dishonesty and mistrust. Because, truth be known, men like to chase, and women love to be chased. Men might see it as an adventure while women in the long run will actually fall into their own traps. And fall in love. Women will finally decide that it's time to give in because the men have proven their worth. They have gone this far so it's time to end the game. The bad news is, for men, when the game is over, it's over. That's it. Finito. And they walked away. Because they have finally feed their ego that they can get the women. In one way or another, they've won the game.
Some might say that honest men won't do that. If he really wants the woman, he won't walk away. Take my word, if he really wants the woman, there won't be any games to play from the beginning. And it's the same thing for women. At least from where I stand. Of course there will be some flirting in the begining, that's just natural, but if it's for real, it should not go on and on and on. Keeping the other person guessing all the time.
Some men are scared of their own feelings. They started well as friends with the women. When they started to realise that their feelings are getting stronger, they back off. Ahh.. in other words, they are scared of commitment. Ish... ish... ish... I blame the media. I blame the rigid thinking of some people that spread throughout the planet, that if you commit, your life is over.
Think about how many jokes about wives and mother-in-laws. Who started all this junk? And who started the thinking when you're committed you're tight down? I just don't get this. And we, subconsciously encouraging this as well, by forwarding the jokes to our friends. Hmm...
All I'm saying is, there needs to be respect in all relationship. If what you're after in the beginning is just a good time together, it has to be clear on both sides. Do not give out hope to the other person that things will grow more than what it is at the moment. Do NOT in any circumstances give signals that there is a future together somewhere down the timeline.
On the other hand, if as time goes by, the friendship evolves to something more, it has to be acknowledged as well. And should the feelings are mutual, both needs to decide where to go and how to move on from there. Sometimes, relationships are just to precious to let go. We need to know what we really want out of it.
Girls can't really help it when the feelings get stronger. We are after all emotional creatures. I am not ashamed to admit that I am. Because that's what makes me a girl. Ehem... woman. If women were unemotional, love will be lost from our lives. God made women softer to complement the hardness of men. Women are more in tune to emotions because men needs to think they are right all the time (okay, I'm being a little cynical here). And combination of both will actually result on something far better.
Seriously, there should not be a competition who's better. Men or women. God made us different, for a reason. We should not be the same, otherwise, we won't be attracted to each other, will we? It will be oh so boring a world if men and women are the same. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. The sooner we realise that we actually complement each other the sooner we can stop all this nonsense about superiority.
God made women from men's ribs to be part of each other, on his side to walk beside him, close to his heart to be loved.
Sometimes, there is just no game to be played at all. Sometimes, it's all about honesty. And most of the times, it's just... love.
4 comments:
A study of human physiology and psychology seems to show that the two partners, man and women, are, made for each other. The Creator has designed their physical, physiological and psychological differences for a definite purpose. These differences do not in any way reflect the superiority or inferiority of either of the sexes, they rather indicate their different fuctions in life and have absolutely no bearing on the excellence or ortherwise of either of them. Their basic differences in these matters are pointer to the fact that their functions in life have been differently designed by their Creator. Their nature has not been designed in different ways for nothing, but for a definite purpose, which is hidden in their very creation.
They have been made for each other, as a source of joy,comfort and pleasure for each other. They seek peace and happiness from each other,love each other's company, and are a source of attraction for each other. They are source of mutual love, affection and compassion for each other. They are created to live together and enjoy each other's companionship. They are made differently with different temperaments, different disposition and different physical constitution so that they may adjust easily to each other's needs and requirements. In fact, these differences assist them to comform and adjust more closely and intimately to each other's desires and needs and thereby unite them into a complete whole. They remain incomplete individually, but make a unit as husband and wife. It is because of these differences that they can live together for long periods of time without being bored with or tired of each other. However,living together as partners, their constitutional differences remind them that each of them has a different function to perform according to the purposes of nature. If it were not so, there would have been no purposes in creating two sexes with different constitutions and different physiological functions. There is, in fact, a great wisdom in the creative purpose of nature, in that it has created them differently in so many ways and yet so attractive and complementary to each other that they cannot live without each other.
To sum up, each is a perfect counterpart of the other; each finds peace and satisfaction in association and attachment with the other; this mutual association is the key to human civilisation and the means to survival of the human race. Imagine what would happened if man and women ceased to play the role that they have been designed for. In this context, it is absolutely necessary that women must be given her proper place in society.It is the demand of nature herself that she must be given her proper place in order to maintain a true balance in the working of human social systems; otherwise, the evils of monasticism or permissiveness will destroy the natural balance of the system.
It is only in the Islamic scheme of life that she can really find her proper and balanced position, status and role in society. Only in this scheme will she prosper and her inner qualities find the right climate for growth, manifestation and display in their true colours, and be able to perform their proper function in society.
In reality, hatred, disgust and distrust for the opposite sex by women had so much increased. Is the media to be blamed here? Or is it the western influence coupled with the numerous liberation movements with slanted idiologies that corrupts the innocence and the feeble minded.
whoooa how's that for mental diaorrhea?
Galing68...
You have unravelled the sentiments very well indeed. Kudos to you. Jade..that's intelligence for you...a discussion based on readings, devoid of emotions and feelings..not off the cuff stuff plagiarised from fictional readings/movies/gossip,etc.Learn and improve your writings.
galing: i couldn't say it better myself. thanks.
looneytoon: things to be thankful for, eh?
nazrah: good thing though. keeping it in fresher state. :-p
anon: thank you.
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