My New Hobby

Few months back I attended a wirework workshop organised by the owner of Whimsical N Quirky. And although I had to bring my own cushion to support my back, felt the strain, and went back with sore fingers, I regret not one second of it! Thanks to my friend Mel for introducing it!

I did not continue with the practice, nor did I attended the subsequent workshop. Mainly because my focus was shifted to getting the PMP certification.

Anyway, last Tuesday, I started again. I continue with the tutorial, doing the piece that I did not get to do during the workshop. And after that, I just continue, slowly. Just tonight, I completed another pendant. A bit rough, I might say, but hey… I’m still learning!

I Won!

I have never won any lucky draw contest before… It’s so exciting when I did recently.

Thank you PickADress!

My post here: Pick a Dress Giveaway

I don’t hate you but I don’t have to agree with you

I have stopped myself several times from writing about a certain declaration video which is now the talk of the town. I shall not name it here, because as a Muslim, we should not disclose our brothers’ or sisters’ embarrassment (even if they feel there is nothing to be embarrass about). Suffice to say, I know the person, because we went to the same school.

I don’t hate homosexuals. But I don’t love them neither. Do I have gay friends? Yes, I do. They are nice people, just like any other friends that I have. You see, I only keep nice people as friends. Who in the right mind will befriend not nice people, eh?

Second question, do I have problem knowing someone is gay? Nope. If I do, I will not befriends with them. Simple.

Next question, do I agree on homosexuality? The answer to this is a clear and a simple NO.

Just because you’re friends with some people that have different ideologies, it does not mean you agree with them. You can be friends, but you don’t have to always agree.

When it comes to homosexuality, be it gay or lesbian, Islam has forbid it more than 1400 years ago. If you read about Islam, and the prophets’ histories, you will come across Nabi Luth (Prophet Lot). His people were homosexuals, the men and the women. These people were told to come back to truth and yet they denied themselves the light, and they were prosecuted by Allah SWT. They all died because their land was turned topsy-turvy.

So Allah SWT has decreed long time ago that this practice is forbidden. Why oh why should we say otherwise? In my opinion, we should not be proud of the forbidden things that we do. We all make mistakes for we are humans. But we must always find ways to come back to Him and seek his forgiveness, for He is the most forgiving.

I read the comment from the supporters of the declaration, and I am stumped. I feel so sad, that I cried. Have these people lost their minds? They talk as if religion is of no relation to one’s life. They talk as if they know better than Allah SWT Himself. Aren’t they scared of what might be by challenging the might of Allah SWT?

No, I don’t have problems with people who believe they are homosexuals. Instead I wish, hope and pray that they come to realise that when Allah SWT created them, He created them to be heterosexuals. There are reasons why there are men an women.

“Dan segala sesuatu Kami ciptakan berpasang-pasangan supaya kamu mengingat kebesaran Allah.” (Adz -Dzaariyaat : 49).
“And all that We created is in pairs so that you remember Allah’s greatness” (Adz Dzaariyaat: 49)

"Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaan Nya ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri-isteri dari jenismu sendiri, supaya kamu cenderung dan merasa tenteram kepadanya, dan dijadikannya di antaramu rasa kasih dan sayang” (Ar-Rum: 21)
“And amongst the signs of His greatness, is that He created for you, wives from your own kind, so that you may feel comforted towards her and He create between the two of you love” (Ar-Rum:21)

There are lots of other ayat from the holy Quran Al-Karim that shows Allah SWT created men and women so that they may complement each other in life, in love. And from this union, insyaAllah, a clean and blessed generation shall be borne. How can we deny this truth? It comes from the Quran itself! The holy scripture that should be our guide.

I can only Istighfar and be reminded of my own shortcomings and mistakes and weaknesses. But it does not mean I cannot spell out my distaste of the comments that were given by these people in favour of homosexuality. What is wrong, will remain wrong. What is forbidden will remain forbidden.

They argue that homosexual is not about sex, but it is about love. If that is the truth then look to Allah SWT for the love that you seek. They say straight people do not understand them and always ridicule them, I have to say some people are quick to judge and condemn. But why can’t they look for the straight people who can show and guide them to the right path? In my opinion, anything wrong that we do, and we do not want to leave it behind, it’s all because we love the world more than we love the hereafter, more than we love Allah SWT. It’s the same to women who are not wearing headscarves, because we feel that we might be less pretty in the eyes of humans, when instead we should think of becoming beautiful in the eyes of Allah SWT, masyaAllah. :-( It’s like people who drink alcohol and do not want to stop because they believe they cannot have fun without it and people will say they are not cool, when they should be thinking how to look cool in front of Allah SWT.

So, when homosexuals say that being gay or lesbian is not about choice, they should be reminded that they do have the choice. Like the women who are not wearing headscarves, like the people who drinks alcohol. It’s a matter of choice.

I am a human, I make mistakes too. And writing this post does not mean I’m preaching or being holier-than-thou, for I am a sinner too. I’m writing this in hope that Allah SWT will shine upon me His Nur and guidance, shower me with his rahmat for I may become a better person in time, insyaAllah. Our main objective in life should be to see Him in Husnul Khatimah.

People always say that if you hang about with those who are smelly, you will become smelly too. And if you hang around those who wear perfumes, the scent will brush on you too. I shall put it in a more modern perspective. You go to clubs, eventhough you don’t drink or don’t smoke, you come out smelling like ashes and liquor still. You go to masjeed, even if you’re dozing off during the sermon, you come out smelling nice or like minyak attar if the pakcik next to you wear it. ;-)

I believe I have said enough. Just a reminder to myself, my family and my friends, not to be advocates of things which are already forbidden by Allah SWT. I remind myself to always seek His forgiveness in any way I can, any time while I’m still breathing. For once He calls my name, there is nothing more I can do, but answer His call. May we always be under His guidance and rahmat, insyaAllah.

It’s Here!

TO MY HUSBAND,

HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!

I adore you, I love you

May we keep adoring and loving each other for more years to come!

And here’s to having more of our wishes and dreams come true as we journey through this sea of life together.

 

p.s: image was googled.

It’s Been A Year!

Tonight, one year ago, I was doing last minute preparation for the big day. Sharky was with me, making sure the room is ready. We put on the bed sheet, decorated the side table, tied ribbons to the flimsy drapes, etc. Downstairs, my aunties are doing things that I cannot remember now. I remember going down and being asked to go to bed. But I was too hyped to go to sleep. It’s the turning point. I wrote a blog post while waiting for my wedding bouquet to arrive: Last one before tomorrow.

Tonight, a year later, I am 32 weeks pregnant with our first child, The Hubby is watching movie on his laptop, and I’m feeling mellow again. Ha ha ha… In one year that we’ve been together, so many things have happened, we learn (still are!) each others’ quirkiness, all of which my sincere hope, bringing us even much closer together. We have our differences, but nobody said anything about agreeing on everything once you’re husband and wife, right? We keep our individuality no matter what.

A year later, watching television these days, I’m watching it with my motherhood cap on. There are so many things that I have to do to ensure my child reap the benefits and learn from the negativities. I thought I’d be those cool moms where everything is A-okay, but I guess it’s like what The Hubby said, “Mothers mean business, Fathers mean fun”. Ha ha ha… I don’t know where he got that. But I guess, between the two of us, I’ll be the sour plum. But I reverently hope that whatever I do or say, I’ll be educating my child and not building walls between us.

A year ago, I had goose bumps every time I think about the next day. Tonight, I’m getting goose bumps thinking of what lies ahead in less than two months. I pray that everything will go smoothly and both of us will be healthy. There are still things to buy for The Baby’s arrival. We’ll do it soon. I am yet to pack my hospital bag. Maybe I should do it this weekend.

So, in this post, I’d like to thank all my family members who worked really hard making my special day happened in the most special way. Special thanks to Sharky for being there for me, right by my side, giving words of encouragement and jokes that I could not remember now. Also thanks to Cindy for being there while I was preparing for my reception ceremony and agreeing with my choice of accessories and hairstyle instead of the mak andam’s.

I truly have a charmed life. Things are not always smooth but it always turn out right. To my beloved husband, I love you with all my heart. Here’s to our first year together, darling. May there’ll be more to come.

Don’t Mind The Fat

Okay, I have to be honest. I am in now way, FAT, eventhough I’m going into my 32nd week now. Yes, I have gained weight and maybe a little extra fat deposit here and there, but I am a long way from being overweight. All my excess are sort of accounted for.

BUT, that does not mean I don’t feel inferior when I look at my non-pregnant friends. The thing that always come to my mind is whether or not I will successfully go back to my previous shape and weight. And that’s when I start to move my butt and do some stretching exercise. Ha ha ha…

One thing for sure, people are saying breastfeeding will help you to lose all the pregnancy fat. I saw one friend the other day, delivered her baby few months back and yeah, she’s slim alright. But she has always been this skinny girl even before she got married. She did sort of plump up while she was pregnant, so I guess it’s proven that breastfeeding does help.

Anyway, weight gain, is part of being pregnant. As long as you’re eating right, you’ll be fine. And make sure you drink lots and lots of water. It is troublesome to be visiting the johns every fifteen minutes or so, but it will help to reduce swelling and lethargy. This I can attest to. My feet do not swell and I can still fit into my regular strappy FLAT sandal.

One more thing, start wearing flats early in your pregnancy. It helps to avoid back aches and leg pain. Wear loose clothing early, regardless what people might say. But the extra space makes you feel more comfortable and since our body temperature is higher than normal, it helps to cool us down.

Urrmm… I guess that’s it for now. Flu is making me sleepy and a little slower than usual. At work now. But I guess, I’ll be going home early.

The Result

Today, 7 Muharram 1432H, I cleared the PMP Certification Exam. Alhamdulillah!

Only Allah SWT know how scared and anxious I was to click the “End Exam” button to submit all the answers. As I waited for the score to be computed, my heart was beating so fast, The Baby was tensed too! I was torn between watching the screen and closing my eyes. When the confirmation screen appeared, I was still a bit flustered that I had to read the confirmation again and again.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” it said. And I could not stop saying grace. Almost cried in fact. I feel so relieved as well as elated.

So, I am now a certified PMP. Time to update the resume? Ha ha ha…

Pick a Dress Giveaway

Go to www.pickadress.com.my and join today!

From Pick A Dress Website:

Calling all bloggers out there.. Pick a dress! is organizing our first ever giveaway! Hurry and spread the news!!

How to participate?

• Be our follower and list our website to your blog list. Don't forget to "Like" us on Facebook (optional; bloggers with no FB account are welcome to join).
• Post an entry about our giveaway in your blog. No review needed, just put this ads image in your post!
• Don’t forget to link back to our website.
• E-mail your Facebook name, Follower name and blog entry link to pickadress@yahoo.com or you can leave a message in our Shoutbox!
• Please inform your referrer to this GA as well :)

Five (5) lucky winners will receive a reusable shopping bag and 2pcs cartoon brooch worth RM15!

What's more? As a token of appreciation, top referrer will receive a shopping voucher worth RM20 to be spend here! So call out all your blogger friends to join our giveaway!

Contest ends: 20 December 2010

The Baby is Growing Healthily

This morning we went for our check-up. I am almost 31 weeks now. The Baby is now 1.9kg! Doctor said The Baby should be around 2.9kg on delivery day. She, the doctor, advised me to control my sugar intake. I admitted to her that I’ve been eating a lot of ice cream recently (Baskin Robbin’s White Winter Chocolate…. It’s heavenly) because I have been feeling weird taste in my mouth. And apparently sweet stuff; read: ice cream, eliminates it! She mentioned that it’s okay of the baby is small, between 2.6kg to 2.8kg; easier for the baby, easier for the mommy. She asked whether I purposely want a big 3kg plus baby. Ha ha ha… Well, so far, the record showed; from my mother and my cousin, all their babies are 3.5kg and above! Personally I do no have any target for the baby’s weight, but I’d prefer it to be less than 3kg… :-) Let The Baby grow fatter and bigger once it’s delivered, yeah?

So, today I received a new prescription. ObiminPluz. I was a little confused in the beginning because there was no more folic acid prescribed. But apparently ObiminPluz has sufficient amount of folic in it. It also contain fish oil and DHA supplement. So, all in one, no need to buy extra! Read more on this multivitamin here: Obimin Pluz. So, I believe, combined with good balanced diet, everything should be okay, insyaAllah.

Today, the doctor confirmed again The Baby’s gender. So, would you like to guess? All baby stuff that we have purchased so far are in whites or neutral colours. My child, be it boy or girl, will have fun with colours. He he he…

We went to see the Labour Room and the Maternity Ward after the check-up. I like what I saw. And since the doctor and I are in the same page when it comes to episiotomy and epidural, I could not be happier. Alhamdulillah. There is a reason why we had the scare in the beginning which directed us to Tawakal Hospital after that. And there is a reason why I immediately chose Dr. Siti Zaleha from the list. And I believe these are the blessings in disguise. I have a healthy and easy pregnancy so far which I am so thankful for. I hope the easy journey will continue until delivery and after. InsyaAllah. Please pray for me as well my friends.

Last week, I had a studio photoshoot. Well, home-studio. And with my personal photographer; The Hubby. We had fun. I’m big. And round. And this is one of those pictures taken:

 

Of course, the idea of standing on the scale is mine. :-p I am now 71 – 72kg. Ten kg extra from before pregnancy. I was working hard to reduce my weight into the 50s earlier this year. Ha ha ha… But did not make it before The Baby decided to join us. So, once the pregnancy is confirmed, there are no more weight loss targets. I just want to be healthy and just making sure I don’t balloon up too much. So far, doctor says it’s normal and healthy, so I am happy.

We plan to have another photo shoot after my exam next week. So, Sarcy!!! When do you want to do yours?

KPJ Selangor Specialist Antenatal Class

Fee: RM80 per couple
Time: 9:00am to 6:00pm
Instructor: Pn. Faridah Abd Majid
Meals: 2 Milo breaks and lunch

Syllabus:

• Care During Pregnancy
• Diet & Pregnancy
• Pain Relief During Labour
• Process of Labour
• Care of Newborn
• Exercise During Pregnancy
• Breathing Technique During Labour – Lamaze Technique
• Importance of Breastfeeding and Breastfeeding Techniques
• Bathing of Baby
• Tour of Labour Room and Post Natal Ward

It was a great session I would say. I have learned quite a few new things. Especially the Lamaze breathing techniques. If you have done yoga before, you would see the similarity with yoga breathing exercise. The breathing technique is to enable the woman in labour to control the pain instead of being controlled by pain. Obviously it will not eliminate the pain, but it will help to relax the muscle and slow down your heart rate to induce overall relaxation.

I am still skeptical about episiotomy. Yes, I can understand the logic behind the action, the reason they are doing it. But I also belief that our body is well equipped to adjust to the changes. Of course, there will be circumstance where assistance is needed especially if the baby is big. I guess, this is the reason why episiotomy is considered necessary. Anyway, the jury is still out for me on this matter. I will discuss it with my doctor and ask her opinion.

As for pain relief, this to me is really up to the individual. Everyone’s pain threshold is different. None of us are the same. Our mother had to endure it because the option might not be available at that time. Nowadays, we can opt for it if we want to. There are circumstance where epidural is absolutely necessary, maybe because the woman had some medical history relating to pain. One cannot judge another for choosing to use pain relief. For this one, unless it is really necessary for me to use it, I will do it drug free, insyaAllah. May He give me the strength and patience.

Breastfeeding. Well, even in the class they say every woman CAN breastfeed their babies. I personally feel that you will only know the truth when you experience it yourself. I have few friends who has difficulty in breastfeeding their babies. But I don’t see they bond lesser with their babies. Granted, breastfeeding seems to be closer in a sense between the mother and the baby. But, hey, there are lots of ways to bond, right? You just have to find the best way for you and your baby. :-)

And there is such thing as baby massage to create the bonding. Although there was not enough time for us to be guided during the class for this, the participants are given a CD produced by Johnson’s Baby on step-by-step guide to perform infant massage. I have watched the video and I belief everyone can do this. Including the fathers!

This is my first antenatal class, therefore I cannot say that it’s the best in town. What I can say though is that for the fee that we paid, it’s worth every ringgit! I believe The Hubby and I have learned a lot. And as The Hubby said, “I cannot unsee what I have seen”. The materials were provided with clarity and Q&A session is handled well. We were also very fortunate that Pn.Faridah is willing to share beyond the training materials. She suggested few recipes to try during pregnancy as well as when the baby starts to eat solid food. How to get your child to eat everything and how you can create variety in your everyday meal.

Owh, two videos were shown; the birth process sans the sound, and the breastfeeding techniques.

So, obviously I recommend people to go to antenatal class. And if you do choose this class in KPJ Selangor Specialist, I can say you will not regret it. :-) Besides, any new knowledge is a gem to our beings, right?

ps: It’s a good idea to go with your spouse. Because, they will be the ones who will guide you during labour on the things you learnt in the class; that is… if they don’t collapse first! ;-)

Yeay! Alhamdulillah!

Yesterday morning, I received this in my mailbox:

This is the email that I’ve been waiting since the start of the week. And instead of a week of wait, it was about three days after the package arrived in the US.

Yes friends, I have decided to take up the professional certification exam for Project Management. I see this as a way to improve myself, my opportunities. I attended the class over the weekend some time last month, and immediately applied for the credential approvals to seat for the exam. Although approved, I was selected to participate in the audit process. I had the sinking feeling when I received the notification email, and my heart has been beating extra fast since then.

But yesterday morning, I breathed a sigh of relieved, now that I can schedule my exam. I immediately book a place yesterday, and Alhamdulillah there was a seat available this month. I am now cramming. I have not stopped studying even though I had to be audited. Now is just continuing what I have done so far, and hopefully everything will come out great at the end of the exam.

The exam is less than two weeks. Wish me luck my friends!

 

It’s Delivered!

After three days of wondering if the package will arrive safely, it is finally there! Alhamdulillah!

Now the timer starts for receiving the answer. I pray everything goes smoothly and the result will be positive, InsyaAllah. Fact is, my credential was already approved by the committee, it was just my luck to be selected for audit! I have checked, twice checked, triple checked and called the customer service in Singapore to confirm I have all the necessary documents and information. And with multiples of Basmallah, I gave the documents to the courier service centre.

Yes, I am freaking out. Reason being, this is one of the major milestones in my life. I want this to happen. I want my plans to come true. So, do pray for me, dear friends and readers. Let’s pray that our lives will always take that positive and fruitful turn for the better. Ameen.

Once I received the answer, hopefully by this weekend, I will share what is it that I’m talking about. For now, let’s just say, one foot is already inside; for the second stage, that is.

Prepare and prepare…

I have read that it is important to have a birth plan. This is like preparing a project plan! Ha ha ha…

According to BabyCentre.com, a birth plan is a way of communicating with the midwives and doctors who care for you in labour. Basically it tells people in the labour room whether or not you need drugs to alleviate the pain, or whether you want episiotomy or not, etc. It’s all about what kind of labour and delivery you’re expecting. The reason behind preparing this plan is because during the heat of the moment, you and your husband, will not be able to remember on small little things that seem important to the both of you. You will be too focus on the incoming addition.

I am not sure if such thing is being practiced in Tawakal Hospital, or even in Malaysia in general. But I will surely ask my doctor during my next check-up.

My next check-up will be on 9th December. I will be about 30 or 31 weeks then. Wowsers! That’s a huge number and cutting it very close, eh? I have arranged to attend pre-natal class on the 4th of December. That’s next week, and I’m excited! I will be attending the class in KPJ Selangor after reading good reviews about the class, conducted by a Pn Faridah. I will certainly write my own review regarding this class to share with you.

I know some people feel that reading books on pregnancy and childbirth, or attending pre-natal classes are time wasters. Some people even go to the extend you should just tawakal and berserah pada Allah SWT. While I agree that the ultimate is for Him to decide, He did say that we need to do all we can to our utmost capabilities. And secondly, I do not like to go into new things unknowing.

If you read the pregnancy books, they all tell you the same thing; every pregnancy is different, no two pregnancy is the same. Not even to the same woman. So there you go. I believe in being prepared on everything that we do, and not walk blindly into the unknown. During our mothers’ days, it was different. Back then, they do not have access to vast information like we do. So, we make use of what we have to our advantage. Learn as much as we can and then leave it to Allah SWT for the final say. For He will not forsaken people who have done their best to achieve a better state. Believe in that.

My good friend Momster is closing in to her D-day. I pray she’ll be fine and have a successful delivery to a healthy Baby H. All the best babe!

Happy Birthday Queens!

No, no. I am not talking about Queens the band. I am wishing my lovely friend, Queens, a very happy birthday. It’s her birthday today. I wish her all the joy in the world. May she’s bestowed with blessings, happiness and prosperity always.

Leaving you with this birthday poem:

 

Happily Ever After

On your birthday, special one,
I wish that all your dreams come true.
May your day be filled with joy,
Wonderful gifts and goodies, too.

On your day I wish for you
Favorite people to embrace,
Loving smiles and caring looks
That earthly gifts cannot replace.

I wish you fine and simple pleasures.
I wish you many years of laughter.
I wish you all of life’s best treasures.
I wish you happily ever after!

Happy Birthday!

By Joanna Fuchs

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR!

At My 28th Week…

So you see, that is why I find it so difficult to get up in the morning and go to work! Lots of motivation is needed at the current gestation age.

The best motivation I had to get up early in the morning was last weekend. And that is because I was looking forward to it. Now that the weekend is over, and everything is up to me to make the next steps happen, I’m getting back to the pre-weekend mood. Especially to go to work!

As The Hubby advised yesterday, just a couple more months, then you’ll be on long leave. After that, you can start looking for a new thing. He he he… How true. Therefore, I am kicking myself every morning to make it to the last base. With hopes that everything turn out well.

Why We Nag

There are a lot of marriage jokes out there. The ones which make fun of the husbands, wives and in laws; especially in laws on the wife’s side. Sad, but true.

Yes, they are funny. Yes, they are entertaining. And when someone says it’s demeaning, another person will quickly respond with, “Come one… lighten up, it’s just a joke..” and snickers.

But, because of these “just jokes”, little by little, people lose respect towards each other. Relationship goes sour because one person in the partnership suddenly thinks that the joke is somewhat true. Yeah, maybe I’m being a little of a sour puss here, but hey, this is what I think.

There are reasons why a wife nags. There are so many jokes out there about nagging wives, but let me tell you, nagging comes with the territory. It’s the level of nagging that differs from one woman to another. So, if you see your best friend’s wife seems like a good sport, letting the husband do "”almost” everything he likes, take it with a pinch of salt. It does not mean the wife does not nag. Ehem.

Let me give you one good reason why a wife nags. Clutter and cleanliness. Well, two reasons.  Let’s face it, when you’re a working woman, weekend is the time to rest AND the time for spring cleaning.

A wife will nag when she has spent hours cleaning, only to have the place torn apart again just the next day. And especially when it seems like she’s the only person who cares to keep the house clean and homely.

A wife will nag, when a simple task such as taking out the garbage has to be reminded, instead of being done automatically once the bin is almost full.

A wife will also nag, when there’s a leaky pipe in the house that needs fixing or a blown bulb that needs replacing; but seem to go un-noticed by the rest of the household. When there are things which do not belong in say, the living room, but they just seem to be lying around everywhere.

Someone told me before that it’s a little easier to clean the house when the husband is not around, because it’s better for the husband not to know how much work needs to be done. So, most housewives have this luxury of making their houses to homely homes just because they have time in their hands. And there are no interruption from the other half.

Admit it, as much as you want your other half to give a helping hand with the works around the abode, you would rather do everything on your own, just the way you like it. *Wink*.

The Hubby is worried that I get too tired or sick doing the work around the house. But, truthfully, if I don’t do it, it feels as if I’m living in someone else’s house. Yes, it’s tiring, and yes, I pull muscle at times, but through all the grumbles, it’s just more worth it. And just because I’m pregnant, it does not mean the work has to stop. Since I’ve been away from gym for 7 months now, housework is my exercise. And it does keep me in shape, keep my weight in check.  And honesty, I cut back a lot on the housework. And that is why now I have ants and cockroaches. Haish! It makes me crazy.

Maybe I should call the cleaner next week. Yeah. maybe I should do just that.

In Deep Thought

I never get the things that I want when I want them. I wished to be married at the age of 27, but I only do it at 31. I wanted to have a man by my side who understands me and accepts me for who I am when I was in a terrible relationship at 24, but only found him five years later (eventually marrying him!). I have been looking for a mentor for my professional growth the past 8 years of working (out of 10), still have not found the person. I have switched jobs six times in ten years, and yet to settle comfortably in one that feeds my intellectual and professional needs.

So, it's suffice to say, I don't get things easily.

My parents, although they love me, they never really understand why am I so different from them. Why I have this passionate needs and one track mind when it comes to living my life the way I wanted. I believe that I truly make them happy whenever I got good results in school and when I finally gotten engaged AND married. And most recently, when I have a bun in the oven. They never really understand their daughter but few years back, they have, I believe, finally accepted that I'm different.

I value my independence. I value my thoughts. The only time I let myself be cuckolded and oppressed was about ten years ago in that terrible relationship. After that, I honestly stop taking crap from people, be it from personal life or professional life. And maybe because of that, I never really get close to people as I did before. Learnt my lesson, and all I wanted to do was to take care of myself.

Having said that, I was and still am fortunate to meet pure souls in the form of friends. And these people I intend to keep close. Taking craps from them once in a while, is acceptable to me, for I'm sure I do the same to them now and then. But because these are, we are, truly friends, we correct each other, we support each other no matter what. It's like being siblings.

Funny thing about true friends, even if we're out of contact for some time, just because present life gets the most of us, we continue to pick up things from where we left of easily. I have three good friends, that have been with me since we were thirteen years old. That's almost twenty years of friendship. Each of us have our own lives and other circle of friends that we keep, but when we get back together, it's just like old times.

As we grow up, grew apart, grow back closer, we meet new people some of which become our close friends in a different circle. Because once you're growing up apart from each other, you start new interest and you become different. But you retain some resemblance in ways that no one else can explain because that's the way it is. Because deep down, we're still sisters.

New close friends become support beams around the base that you already have. I don't know if you're lucky enough to have circles of beams that keep on growing, and supporting. But interestingly enough what some close friends lacking, others will fill it. So, essentially there are no empty spaces. And that is the miracle of having friends. The magic of friendship.

No, I may not get the things that I want the way I want them, when I want them. But God has given me, and continue giving me these support beams that make me who I am today. I also belief I am a support beam to lots of friends out there, in different forms, different circles. Because life, as much as you want to live it your own way, is symbiotic.

When I see all my friends in one place together, I can smile from my heart. Because I can tell myself, if not the world, these are my beams. And somehow, I feel complete. 

Simple Fried Rice

Surprisingly, a simple throw-in-the-wok action can give great results that end with clear serving dishes and plates.


Yesterday, we made a day visit to my parents place, just in time to prepare lunch. Mak already planned to have fried chicken, serve with the black beef Sarawak style. She had rice left over from the night before that I turned into simple fried rice. One that I eventually called; Nasi Goreng Planta (Planta Fried Rice).


Ingredients? Simple really, just some garlic, number is according to your preference. I like my garlic, so LOTS. Throw crushed garlic into hot oil in the pan... let it brown a little... Then, pour in the rice. Stir. Dashes of salt. And a spoonful of margerine, I used PLANTA soft. Stir, stir, stir. 


Serve with ayam goreng, it's yummeh bebeh!!

New Terms that I Learn

With this new experience of having a life growing inside me, comes new information and knowledge that I gladly learn. Not only they come from the books that I read or the websites that I visit, they from from my personal experiences which had me scavenging the internet for more information. But my readily source of information when it comes to pregnancy is Momster.

Like I mentioned before, Momster is expecting her second child after five years. The gap is not by choice, but because of her own unique life experiences. As each and everyone of us will go through different adventures with reasons that varies. Some people because it’s their own choice or decision, others because it’s fate and just how it’s deemed to be by the Almighty.

So, coming back to the topic at hand, it’s from Momster that I learnt new terms with regards to pregnancy. I hope by sharing this information here, other people will benefit from them too! So, here are two terms that the conditions I have experienced first-hand now at 21 weeks:

• Braxton Hicks Contraction
• Round Ligament Pain

Braxton Hicks Contraction is a painless contraction not to be confused with actual labour contraction. In fact, contractions on the area happens all the time but it is more noticeable during pregnancy because of the pressure that is continuously building as the pregnancy progress. Read more on this condition HERE. (source: About.com)

Round Ligament Pain happens usually when you change position suddenly. Like last night, when I attempted to roll over, while lying on the bed, I felt a sharp jab like cramping on the lower abs area. Stroking the area gently back and forth eased the sensation slowly. Read more on this condition HERE. (source: Babycenter.com)

I know as the weeks pass, more new experience will come to surface. They are just to be expected. As it was when I was getting ready to get married, a lot of well meaning friends and relatives give their opinions and advices on pregnancy and giving birth. Appreciating them as I do, for these people had went through the adventure, I have to listen to them ALWAYS with a pinch of salt. I do find solace in few people including Mak (my mom) because these few people sound more encouraging and positive. And I am so thankful that I have these people in my life.

I am also thankful for having such understanding and supportive husband. As we are learning to live and grow together, now we are adjusting to the new addition. An uncle once told The Hubby, “These are the times for husbands to be extra patient” and how true that statement come to be. And I can only solemnly hope and pray that The Hubby’s resilience and support remains constant as the D-day comes closer.

I am getting rounder…

It has been… more than two weeks since my last update. Much has happened. I supposed it is not yet too late to wish all Muslims Eid Mubarak. And after all the food and more to come in the next two weeks because of the open houses every where, just make sure you compensate by exercising or taking less food while you’re on normal days.

I am into my 20 weeks of pregnancy now. And I frequently feel the Baby moving these days. And it amazes me every time. As with the visits to the O&G. Wednesday was my 20 weeks visit, and we were hoping to know the gender. However, the Baby was in prostrating form, and it was not possible to determine whether it is a “she” or a “he”. Well, we are not really concern about the gender, as long as the Baby is healthy and cukup sifat as our mothers would say. So, we shall wait for another four weeks to find out!

It is true when people say second trimester is the best time during pregnancy. Well, so far I’m comparing with the first trimester, and it’s true enough. No more frequent nausea feeling, Alhamdulillah. Although there were times when I feel the gagging motion because of intense smell around.

As for food, I’m eating everything. No exception. I lost 1 kg during the puasa month when we went for the 4th month check-up. However, yesterday, I gained 2.5kg! Initially the doctor looked worried, but after measuring the Baby, the weight gain corresponds with its size. If lucky star is on my side, the due date is going to be correct.

Hari Raya as a married lady is different. It was a very emotional one for me. Although my in-laws came down to KL to celebrate Eid here, I spent little time with my own parents and siblings. I missed another family gathering in Malacca, that’s the second time now. And when we did go back to Malacca, it felt more like a holiday visit then Eid, because every one has gone back. :-)

No, I am not complaining. I’m just stating that it’s different. And it is something that everyone has to go through once they are hitched! I’m sure the husbands feel the same when we spend time at our parents’ home.

One thing that I could not do this year during Eid… wear an awesome KEBAYA! So, this will be my objective next year!

I have been bombarded with a couple of questions lately. One; when is the open house, and two; when is the baby shower. For the former, just come over when you are in the area, let me know in advance so that I can prepare something. For the latter, isn’t it still too early?

Okay, for now, I shall pen (type) off. Take care everyone!

quel est l'amour

What is LOVE?

I just finished re-reading The Zahir by Paulo Coelho. It’s about a successful writer whose wife left him without a “goodbye” simply because the husband was no longer interested in his wife’s day-to-day recaps even though they love each other very much. The husband was no longer listening to what the wife is saying and they didn’t talk about nothing and everything like they used to. The book tells the story of the writer’s journey rediscovering himself en route to finding his wife again.

LOVE according to this book is an energy which is flowing freely. It should not, could not be controlled. Once we start moulding LOVE into our own definition, it loses its intensity, its meaning, its being.

Have you ever noticed how all the movies that we watch, possibly all the movies ever made are about LOVE? It’s defined in so many ways, which resulted in so many things, situation.

How often do we take chances? How often do we wish we could dance in the rain, but that’s all there is, a wish, never a reality? How often do we think about the Godiva in the fridge but refuse to touch it simply because we had our share of Neapolitan just that afternoon? How often do we hold ourselves back from telling our spouses or partners something that we know might make them upset or uncomfortable? How often do we decide to take one step back or remain immobile instead of taking one step forward?

So many questions, but do we dare answer them and react differently the next time?

Thus, what is LOVE?

Some people avoid LOVE like a plague whether intentionally or subconsciously without realising it, because of past experiences. Some people get it lucky the first time and have a fairy tale life. Some people jump right back at LOVE after LOVE left. And all these does not necessarily about romantic relationship. It could be with your parents, siblings, friends or colleagues. It’s LOVE, and it’s unrestricted.

What is LOVE?

If you believe in GOD, and you believe in destiny, trust me, there is one person destined to be with you. You might not get 100% what you want in that person, but GOD sends you someone you need, not someone you want. So, believe that He knows what’s best.

But then again, don’t take my word for it. Maybe you’d like to give your own definition, according to your epiphany.

More Food in Ramadhan

Yesterday, armed with two recipes from WaterLily’s blog again, I prepared Buttered Prawn and Agar2 Buih (Bubble Jelly). I learned to make the jelly long, long time ago, when I was still in school from the neighbour next door. The aunty always made this jelly and send some to our house. Most of the time, she sent satu talam! So, it was one of the desserts that our family love. Just so happened yesterday, I found the same jelly recipe in WaterLily’s blog. (I don’t know who she is, just stumbled first time when I was looking for the Portuguese Grill recipe… Thanks babe!!)

My egg floss did not really make it to flossy because I used less oil. But, it served its purposes… He he he….

You can go to her blog to get the recipes.

Making these two dishes on the same day is actually very beneficial. Why you may ask? Because, the jelly only uses egg white and the prawns only use egg yolk. So, you don’t have any leftovers! Wonderful, isn’t it?

The next dish that I made was mixed vegetables in oyster sauce. The vege that I chose yesterday was greenpea, brocolli, carrot, yellow bell pepper (capsicum) and some mixed beans. Very simply, fry crushed garlic in a tablespoon of cooking oil. Some oyster sauce, soy sauce, a little salt and a little water. Throw the vege in and stir. Cover for a minute. Then add some corn flour to thicken the gravy. Stir, stir, stir. And your mixed vege is ready!

Some pictures…

Bubble Jelly

Mixed Vege in Oyster Sauce

Buttered Prawn    

On the fourth of Ramadhan

Today, for second day in the row, I made my newly found recipe of Chinese Fried Rice. Seriously, I never knew it could be so simple. Just make sure the cooked rice is fried individually before mixing it with the rest of the ingredients. As usual, lots of garlic; crushed, and one big onion; sliced. Scramble a couple of eggs and set it aside. Slice some spring onion and set it aside. Some cili padi, as much as you like, slice thinly. You can change to normal chili if you prefer.

Fry the garlic. Add the sliced onion. Let them brown. Add the cili padi. Add salt; I like it to be slightly salty, oyster sauce and dark (sweet) soy sauce. Pour in the rice and scrambled eggs and mix thoroughly. Lastly let the spring onion join the mix. I actually like to be still fresh and crispy, so don’t leave it too long on the fire. I add them just before I turn the stove off.

And today, we breakfasted at my parents’. I saw Mak had two Black Phomprets (Ikan Bawal) so I asked her if she’s up to a Portuguese Grill dish. Mak jumped to the suggestion, and armed with the recipe of Chef Wan’s from WaterLily’s blog, I prepared the ingredients. I will just copy the recipe and put it here.

Bahan - Bahan : (per the original recipe)

1 ekor (600 gram) ikan bawal, di bersih kan
1/4 cawan minyak masak
Air perahan dari 1/2 limau nipis (I used limau kasturi)
1/2 sudu besar kicap pekat
Garam
Gula

Daun pisang

Bahan Di Kisar Halus:

4 tangkai cili merah
4 biji buah keras (did not have this, so according to Mak, it tastes “lemak” so I added a little coconut milk)
8 ulas bawang merah, di kupas 
1 batang serai ( dihiris halus)
1/2 sudu teh belacan
1 sudu besar cili serbuk (I used dried chili paste)
2 helai daun limau purut (did not have this, so instead I sliced the limau kasturi’s skin)

As any other recipe, you need to fry the blended ingredients. Add in the lime juice, salt, sugar and soy sauce. Once done, marinate the fish with the fried ingredient. Wrap the fish in banana leaves. Grill, or as I did, into the oven it went!

By the way, the recipe calls for one piece of fish. Since I had two, I doubled all the ingredient items. And remember, daun limau is used for the aroma, so you can be creative and substitute. Limau Kasturi’s skin gives the same effect and it’s nice to chew too!

Fried rice was a hit. The fish was a hit. Praise be to Allah SWT. Everyone is happy and full. He he he… So goddesses, try it out the next time you want a simple dish to grace your dining table. ;-)

Ramadhan is here!

Ramadhan is here again. Alhamdulillah, Praise be for Allah SWT, I am here to experience it again. So much has happened since last Ramadhan, and all are things to be thankful on.

I’m taking this opportunity to wish all of you, my friends, my readers, a blessed Ramadhan, Ramadhan Al Mubarak. I apologise for my shortcomings, any rude words, any actions that might have make you feel angry, sad or disappointed with me. I am only human. And I err.

InsyaAllah, this Ramadhan will make us better people, and may we all remember that Allah SWT is always watching over us. We have only to ask and work towards our goals. Be patient, for in the end, it’s Him who has the power to make things happen for us. And let’s always, always, ALWAYS be thankful.

Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa, semoga ibadah kita bertambah, mendapat keberkatan, diterima Allah dan meninggalkan kesan yang hasanah untuk kita. InsyaAllah. Ameen Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin.

image from: http://4allah.net/blog/

When I Sincerely Get It…

I remember those days when I was still dateless, boyfriendless, partnerless. When I was on my own. And my friends, most of them were married, some with two and a half kids.

I remember, those days, though my family members were not hounding me about getting married anymore but was secretly wondering and hoping, as well as soundlessly indirectly hounding me about getting married. When not so close friends, or just found long lost friends still asking why I was still single; do I hate men, do I swear off marriage, or just secretly wondering whether I was well... not straight.

I remember amidst all that feeling left out, wondering why the coupledom train did not stop at my station. I recall doubting my self worth and principle. Whether I should just settle to get things over and done with. I remember feeling envious of my engaged or married or just dating friends. Although I was happy for them, I felt jealous that I don't have that significant other to share my day with.

So, I ranted about men in general, as much as I knew personally, directly or indirectly, through own experiences and observation. I talked about relationship as I see it, why they work and why they might just be a disaster. I wrote about how women should take control and be strong to speak up to make the relationship work for them too, so that they can be contented and happy too. I blogged about love and my idea of unconditional love and true love.

You must wonder where I am going with this lengthy prologue. Well it goes back at the door of my current life.

I have shared with some close friends about the recent changes that are happening in my life and even blogged about it. I tell the world about the happiness and the magical point at this stage of my life. And I knew as I was telling it, that people perception and acceptance will differ; whether they are my family members, close friends or strangers.

I knew that people will be happy for us, but depending on where they are in their lives there will be some mixed feelings. So, how could I begrudged them when I felt the same way in some what similar situation at a different stage of my life?

I just hope that as go through my life and moving on to mid-life (oh my God!) I will still have all the friends that I have now, single (if there still is!), married just-the-two-of-us or married with brood and bunches. I sincerely hope so.

Bottom line, I get it. I understand. So, anytime peeps, if you need to get away from me, just to recollect yourselves, anytime. I understand. And I still love you. Hey, I’m an aquarian after all. ;-)

At 12 Weeks

It was my second check up with Dr. Siti Zaleha in Tawakal Hospital yesterday. We arrived slightly late, just about ten minutes after 9a.m. but I saw that our turn would be later. The doctor was away for her rounds, so we went for second breakfast at Yusuf Haslam’s join. Apparently, according to Mak, that’s where you see the whos in the entertainment industry. Ha ha ha…

We went back up and I suggested we take a look at the maternity ward. We bumped into our doctor as we stepped out from the lift. And The Hubby wanted us to go down immediately. Ha ha ha.. So, we waited for the next lift and went down. To a waiting area which was full with couples already.

As we waited, we passed the time chatting. And when the couple seated next to us went inside, we wondered when our turn would be. When they came out, there was a little commotion. Apparently the woman was feeling contractions already and she is to be admitted immediately. The Hubby started to get anxious while I was unexplainably, excited. Ha ha ha…

When our turn came, we sort of sighed in relief. It was almost 11:30am. And my flu (did I forget to mention that I was having flu and it’s been like that for a couple of days?) was getting worse. I kept on sneezing. After few words, the Dr. Siti ushered me to the bed. They have rearranged the bed and screens and I just look forward to watch.

The Baby was playing actively! Hands and feet were moving. At one point, The Baby turned its head towards the scanner and it seemed as if it was waving to us! Next, it was sliding from left to right which made The Hubby exclaimed in surprise, “What’s it doing?!”. Dr. Siti calmly replied that The Baby was just moving. She tried to get the hearbeat, but it went on and off because The Baby did not stay put. I was totally amazed and humbled.

It is an indescribable feeling. Anyone who has not seen this miracle before, whether you’re married or not yet, a parent or not, would feel the same, I suppose. Having said that I will not say, “Quick! Have a baby!” to anyone who has not. Yes, it’s very, very exciting but we must always remember that this is a rezeki and amanah that is bestowed. And for this, it has its own place and time.

Dr Siti gave me two days MC to let the flu settle. I told her I was downing Ribena all the while and not taking any medicine for it. So, she prescribed flu med and also gastric tablets to prepare for fasting month. I told her I planned to test fast today and so far, I’m doing well. Just minor headache in the afternoon and major thirst, but I’m alright. Tomorrow, I will again fast, but this time, off to work!

This morning, just before The Hubby went to work, there was a photo moment, when he sat beside me looking at The Baby’s ultrasound picture. His face was serene and just perfect. I did not have my camera handy, or else, it would make a very nice black and white photo. As it is, the moment is plastered in my memory, and hopefully relayed to The Baby. Isk.. Isk.. Syahdu pulak…

Most Unsettling Occurrences

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have nothing to complain but to always be grateful. I may not have so much excess monetarily, but in its place I am bestowed with other grandeurs and pleasures. And to always be thankful for what we have, we must always accept sincerely that Allah knows best and He give us what we need; not necessarily what we want.

While some people upon marital bliss, feel obliged(?) to dictate (advise sternly?) to their single friends or would-be wives the best course of managing the household plus the husband, I personally feel inadequate. In fact, I have no intention of giving unsolicited opinion when it comes to husband and wife relationship. For each couple is different.

However, there is one matter which disturb me gravely. As this matter happens to some of my friends, I am sure it is happening to those I am not privy of. Bottom line, husbands are providers. This person whom a wife has promised to stay true, putting her livelihood and future in his hands is the person who is ultimately responsible for the household matters and future of the family.

I have heard; in confidence; repressed feelings from those who are dear to me that their partners are not taking up the responsibility of providing. Whilst the husbands spend money on their hobbies and time with their friends, they apparently have forgotten to do two crucial things. Spend money on the household and time with the family (wife and kids).

Some husbands apparently take for granted the fact that their wives are career women. Thus, these capable ladies are not given pocket money, grocery money even money to buy the baby’s milk powder and essentials. Let’s not even touch money for the wives to buy their own clothes! In worst cases, the wives are the ones providing for the husbands…

I understand that in some household, the wives are the breadwinners, because they earn better pay. But that does not exclude the husbands from their responsibilities as the man of the house. Owh, they require the wives to treat them like a king, cook daily (maybe), clean the house, do the washing and so on. But they neglect to make the wives feel like a partner, instead of just a servant. It is sad, but it happens.

Relationship is a two-way street. Husbands are wise to remember that having a wife who could stand on her own is not a ticket to responsibility freedom, but that shows she does not need a man to live her life. Therefore, she could in any time, go to the Religious Department to request for the marriage to be annulled on the grounds of irresponsible husband. However, we don’t really see this happening, because wives after all are stoic creatures. Ever so loyal, ever so loving. That’s how women are built. We endure.

Until the day we choose to endure no more.

But, once children are in the calculation, there is another consideration. However, I personally feel that rather than have a harebrained of a husband as a role model for the kids, the women in this predicament, should they able to stand on their own, must be brave enough to do so. Make their stand. Yes, this is a little revolutionary, but we women must always prepare for rainy days. Hope and pray for the best, but always be prepared if the sun is fated to disappear.

Why I Adore Edward Cullen

… as I adore Bill the True Blood Vampire, Angel the Vampire with Soul, Blade the Day Walker.

They all have tortured hero persona about them. Ha ha ha… Except for Blade, the rest of them are very gentleman in their vamp self.

Take Edward Cullen for example. He is the perfect man in every woman’s fantasy. Gentle yet firm. Kind with hidden violence against wrongs. He is also puts his woman’s happiness above everything else. Not to mention always thinking about his woman in everything he does. A perfect man. And as perfection goes, it only lives in the fantasy world.

Look at Jacob Black. He is your everyday man. Impatient. Childish. Always believe that he’s right all the time. While he has some commendable characteristics, his antagonism speaks louder. Very persuasive and manipulative in getting everything to his way. Clearly, real woman prefers more matured man. This emotive beastly man speaks heavy baggage and could drain a woman dry. And he’s not even a vampire!

I watched Eclipse last night with The Hubby. The Hubby could hardly contain his gag reflex every time the characters (especially Edward) utter a very cheesy line. What can we say? The lines were written by a woman, from a woman’s perspective, to feed a woman’s fantasy. Because in our dreams, our men speaks to us in ways that melt our hearts every time. Who needs the reality when you’re traversing across the pages of a romantic novella, non?

Honestly though, I could not be melting every single time my man opens his mouth. That would be totally messy and physically draining, wouldn’t it? Hmmm… I certainly hope that line does not come with a double meaning. Ha ha ha… What I mean is, after all the fantasy romance with the perfect man of our dreams, we are more willing to spend the rest of our lives with the likes of a real man. And as we know, a real man is really a boy with bigger toys (I’m quoting this line). If we’re lucky enough to get a man who’s maturity goes beyond Jake’s pathetic attempt at being an adult, then all the better. Even if we’re not, at least what we have is real.

Ps: I did offer The Hubby to sit out on Eclipse. I told him I could watch it on my own… But he insisted… I love my husband. Hi hi hi… 

 

Not Exactly F.A.T

This is how I have been feeling the past few weeks. My pants are getting tighter and tighter. So are my shirts. Baby Ts are now out of the question because my little tummy is peeking out underneath. Baggy T-shirts are the way to go. Sweat pants are heavenly.

But I don’t really care about walking into maternity stores while not yet exactly showing. I knew I have to get those clothes sooner or later. So, I decided, it’s okay to be sooner because I’m tired of wearing my pants unbutton or using the belly belt that makes me feel as if my pants will drop to my feet any minute! And I believe I look unsightly with my normal work shirts. Luckily I’m wearing my jacket these days since I’m stuck in the freezer room until this implementation phase is over.

I admit, it’s a bit unsettling when other people in the store are OBVIOUSLY pregnant! And I can feel their eyes on me. But i couldn’t care less. It’s my comfort that I am after and not society’s acceptance. Just because you don’t wear any maternity clothes before your 5th month, it doesn’t mean other people will do the same (This statement is dedicated to someone who looked surprised when she saw me with a shapeless gown the other day and said I’m wearing it too early. Ps: maybe because your non-pregnant clothes were sized XL? Sorry, was that rude?).

So, last week, I went to one of the stores and made some purchase. 3 pants, 3 tops, and I was flabbergasted with the total damage. And that is after 50% discounts! But I guess, that’s the price that you have to pay when you walk into those shops. Blurgh. I could go to one of the famous departmental stores, but when I saw the material, albeit the low price, I felt sad. So, to sooth my nerve, and my snobbish self, I guess, I just have to sacrifice a little more.

I’m happy with my purchase the other day. And today, I feel so relieved and relaxed with the pants, I could breathe easily and the top has more room than ever! InsyaAllah these clothes could be worn until full term and I know that’s money worth spent!

I am NOT fat. And yes, I am vain enough that I tell myself this almost everyday, almost every time I see myself in the mirror. Forgive me Allah, for committing one of the grievous sins one could commit… I am not perfect. I am only human. Sigh.

A New Beginning

My blog is going to get more and more domesticated. No more repressed feelings. No more bitter remembrances. Reason?

I’m looking to the future now. And nothing is going to stop me from doing just that.

See the new ticker above? Well, that’s what’s new in my life. In OUR lives. We are anxious and excited at the same time. I guess that is normal. The journey, albeit only 10 weeks, had been a slight roller coaster ride.

When we first found out, it was through the home test. Well, I was late, and I felt fat. And because I’m such an intelligent person (cheewaaahhh!) I sorta suspected it. Momster forced me to do the test while I was trying to be in limbo for a longer time. :-p

The Hubby was waiting anxiously for me to open the pregnancy test box. I didn’t know why it was so difficult to open it. He could not bear the suspense any longer and took the box away from me and ripped it open! Ha ha ha… Okay, “ripping it” is a bit to melodramatic because the box is still intact until today. But that’s just me describing the situation that night. It was before we went out to watch a movie. Hmmm… maybe he was afraid that we would be late for the movie! :-p

It was a plus sign. And we went to see the doctor near our house the next day. The doctor just took the pregnancy test from the night before as true and congratulate us. She asked us to come back in two weeks to do the first scan. I started on the folic acid. Later only that I knew, folic acid is supposed to be taken even before you get pregnant.

Few days later, I started to buy books. Ha ha ha… as below:

The last one is for The Hubby, of course! He he he… and let me tell you, I belief it has good impact on him. :-)

So, two weeks later we went to the same clinic for the follow up check-up. Owh… this is a dedicated maternity clinic and equipped with delivery room and maternity ward. Not that I had the chance to see around though. So, both of us are excited for the first scan. Just the other day The Hubby told me that I was glowing. He had such surprise in his face and I was reluctant not to believe him, because all I see in the mirror is my puffy face in the morning. Sigh.

The doctor ( a different lady doctor this time) asked the same questions while looking at my record from the previous visit. And she ushered me to the examining bed for the scan. After giving me a couple of minutes to get comfortable, she started to put the cool jelly on my slightly bloated tummy. It was a bit unpleasant actually, because of the pressure that she put. We saw the sac and The Hubby and I automatically linked our hands a while. And then, the bomb came. “Tak dapat cari heartbeat lah…” said the doctor (I cannot find the heartbeat).

I was speechless and immediately run through my head the things I did, the food I ate for the past weeks. I was kicked out from the gym by Mr Trainer, although I have not started working out yet. Just walked in and talking to him (with my gym bag on my shoulder of course). I was careful not to overdid the housework. I turned my head to look at The Hubby and my eyes started to teary… And the doctor suggested we scanned from below. I did not comprehend.

Until she started to change the scanner head and inserted it into a condom. Yikes! I was screaming in my head. It was VERY uncomfortable. And she still could not detect the heartbeat. Later her words to us; “Nak cuci sekejap jer, nak mengandung susah, so datang balik in two weeks lah yer?” (To clean it is fast, but to get pregnant is not easy, so come back in two weeks). I just nodded my head for whatever exchanged between The Hubby and the doctor was just a buzz to me.

The Hubby started to notice the change in me the moment we walked out from the room. I was very quiet. I was just feeling down. Later I shared the news with Momster and she told me to get second opinion. And since she had experience on miscarriage before she was being logical all the time. I tried to stay positive all week, but it was hard. And I could not bear it. So, I made an appointment to see another doctor, this time in Tawakal Hospital. It took place just a week after the sad visit.

Most of the operation in Tawakal Hospital just started at the new building that week. So, when we registered to see the doctor, we even get a goodie bag! We were the first couple to arrive, but had to wait a little while because they had problems with the network. I explained to the doctor about the situation and she quickly ushered me to the examining bed after checking my blood pressure.

The doctor explained that their scanner is 4D and I could see how big the difference is with the simple scanner in the maternity clinic. Not that I’m impressed by the look and size, because I was just dying to know whether I’m really carrying or if it’s a missed pregnancy. Less than a minute later the visual came up and I could clearly see the frantic movement in the sac. And the doctor said, “Tu, ada heartbeat.” (There’s the heartbeat). She switched on the audio and at that moment it’s the sweetest sound on earth, I swear. I didn’t realise that The Hubby and I were already holding hands. My eyes got teary and this time out of happiness. The doctor told me not to be worried. I think The Hubby was very relieved because he started to tell the doctor how I keep on worrying and feeling sad. So, I had a small lecture from the doctor because of that. And all I wanted to do was hug the doctor. But we just met, so I’ll save it for later I guess.

My next appointment was set a month from that date, which is end of this month, where I will complete my first trimester, InsyaAllah. Alhamdulillah. I’m happy with this new gift from The Almighty. And I pray all the good things for myself, The Hubby and our future child.

When I first knew I was pregnant, Momster was already a month or so ahead of me. It created such a bonding. And then I came to know her sister-in-law, who was my ex-colleague, Memey, was also pregnant, a week later than me. But as we rejoiced and get ready, many tests were put forward, like my case, and most recently, Memey lost hers. But I’m positive, and Momster concurred, that Memey will get re-pregnant very soon. Yes, I just invented a word I believe.

All in all, this tells us that we could only plan. And He is the one to decide for it to be or not to be. The Hubby and I did not plan to have kids so early, but we are being given the amanah to carry this miracle. So we accept wholeheartedly. I believe that everything will fall into place nicely because He will test us with tests that we could handle. If we were not sure about having a baby before, the scare we had confirmed that we actually want it. There you go. He knows what’s best for us and what we need. And who are we to question that, right?

So, here begins a new chapter in the Memoir of Looneypuff. It started out with me being all looney and girl power fighting machine. Well, I’m still all those, just not too intense like before. I was a sad person before. Always lamenting, always complaining, always feeling bereft and left out. But was always enjoying life to its fullest albeit the emptiness. I am now more grounded, I believe, and fulfilled. Alhamdulillah. And still enjoying life to the fullest!

To Noble Husbands Out There

Let me introduce you to one of the important device in the kitchen. It’s not electronics. Just a simple tool with a sophisticated mechanism. You’ll love it, trust me!

 

This is called a SINK STOPPER or TRAPPER. It is located in your wash basin and designed to stop leftovers from going into the sink’s piping system. Reason? To avoid putrid smell as well as blockage (Which later on will help decreasing the plumbing bills or attempts of DIY by yourselves).

So what do you do after you have washed the dishes and pots and pans? There will be items collected in the trap. And what you need to do is to take out the trap and just dump the items into the dustbin. After, wash the trap and the sink.

There! Now your kitchen sink is as shiny and clean and pretty as your wife left it!

The Hubby said this item was not included in the Gentlemen’s Guide Book. So, I’m just sharing this information for other husbands who are referring to the same book. :-p

A little more than six months now!

Marriage is just like dating. With the additional bonus you’re staying together. Day in. Day out. Sleeping with his the last face you see. Waking up with his back the first thing you see. It can become a pleasurable routine or it can be a boring repetition of events.

In addition to have your most loved, most cherished with you every single day, you have the house to take care. The bathroom to clean. The hall to vacuum. The kitchen to tidy. Not to mention fresh bedsheet every week (I couldn’t find time to do every three days, so weekly, even then The Hubby thinks I’m crazy). After all the cleaning and tidying up over the weekend, the only thing you want to do is sit back and be lazy for the rest of the day.

But wait, now that you have an extended family attached to the solemnization, you have visits to do and to receive. Which means, the weekly tidying up might not come to be. Which means, double cleaning (?) when you get back.

It’s tiring. My single life, I only had less than 1000sqft (minus my housemates’ rooms) to take care of. Now, it’s about 2000+sqft. Another reason why I miss condo living. ;-) If last time, it was only my clothes, which means, one machine load per week plus some handwashed items, now it’s probably three load. More to fold.

We have maids coming over occasionally, but I engage their help only when I’m truly exhausted and need major wash for the whole place. Because a day after the service, I will be doing the cleaning again. Reason: They don’t clean the way I do. So, to have them clean 75% of the dust and dirt is by all means still cleaning. Reason: They vacuum, but you can still see dust. So, it’s still assistance.

It’s tiring taking care of the house. I am truly amazed how my mother did it for over thirty years without maid’s help. Of course she’s a fulltime housewife, which means, she does a lot more a day than I can do in a week! Read Momster’s post here: CLEAN FREAK; because the way she was trained as domestic goddess is EXACTLY the same like I was. No kidding.

I haven’t begin cleaning the house’s sliding doors, windows and grills yet. That will totally shock The Hubby I’m sure. Not to mention the big garbage can outside the gate. My mom’s garbage can is cleaned each time the garbage collector comes. Seriously. All her pots can be substitutes for mirrors. Her stove is squeaky clean after each meal. You can practically lie down on her kitchen floor and sleep there. No icky, sticky feeling. Home in Gombak, always smell fresh and inviting.

And I want our house to be the same. I thrive in that living condition. I never knew I miss it so much until I come back home to a messy hall and overflowed plastic garbage in the kitchen.

So yes, married life can be a boring routine day in, day out. The question is not “why it’s becoming a routine”. The right question is “how to make this routine enjoyable”. That’s my take. And as to the how, I believe husband and wife needs to work together to make it work. Since both of us are working, it’s only fair that both of us take care of the piece of heaven that we’re living in.

I will not be sorry or apologise for being anal about house cleanliness. It’s just the way I am. And I know The Hubby appreciates it. And I know my parents-in-law appreciate it too. After all, it’s their son I’m taking care of. ;-) HINT! HINT!

Complains? Weeelllll… Don’t lie domestic goddesses! You complain and nag your husbands too, right? It’s inevitable. But husbands should know, when their wives put on that record to play, it’s because they care so much to make your living together more pleasurable. After all, what is married life if it’s exactly the same mess it was when we’re singles, right?

It’s tiring. But do it with honest heart, IKHLAS, it is worthwhile. Alas… we’re only humans. So, go figure. ;-)

FIFA 2010

Besides the vuvuzela, there’s another part of World Cup that I don’t fancy much.

It’s the following less intelligent dialogues:

TING TONG!
Girl (opening the door): Ma! Dua Mat Saleh!

The two Mat Salehs happen to be a couple of football players. One English, one Italian.

It is one of ASTRO’s advertisement for World Cup. I’m sure you’re familiar with it.

I mean who came up with such idiotic lines? Well, I’m sure I could look it up, just lazy to do so. The line is just racist to my opinion. Words are failing me.

I remember the first match we saw on TV when World Cup 2010 started. I immediately noticed the annoying sound. So they said it’s a tradition. So I guess we just have to make peace with it until the season finishes. Maybe, it’s a tool to collapse all the football giants this time around. Hmmm…. Suspiciousssssssssss…..

 

I can now use the oven!

The electrician came and the kitchen’s wiring is finally fixed! And The Hubby surprised me by asking them to fix the balcony wiring as well! As such, I am now responsible to find a suitable light fixture. Yeay! By the way, I love their work; so neat and nice! I’d recommend them!

The renovation next door is still on going. But nearing its end I hope. Soon, there will be peace and tranquillity again. Hehe… So dramatic.

I think sometimes, in the quest of getting our partner to understand our needs, we fail to remember that we have to understand them too. We forget that our actions will also make them feel uneasy or sad. And just because they are men, it doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings. They will never admit it though, because it goes against their nature. Such is the manly-man.

Women need words. Don’t lie and say you don’t ladies. Because with words we feel comforted. When words turn into actions, it makes us feel over the top. Some women are comforted just by words and promises. And even i the men never get around to do what they said, the women still hang to more words. And I said, some.

Men on the other hand, are not so into words. Especially giving them. Receiving, they like it because it makes them feel adored and wanted. When giving words, it means they have to bare their emotions and feelings. In other words quantifying their feelings and acknowledging them. While they feel uneasy, women feel happier when they receive it. Because like men, it makes us feel adored and wanted.

No one ever said relationship is easy. And living together means all your actions and facial reactions are observed almost 24/7. And hearts are easily slighted because of this. I’ve got a lot of improvements to make. And everytime I need to, all I have to remember is to be ikhlas in everything I do. And no one ever said that relationship is one sided. Both parties have to work on it. ;-)

Two Weeks of Silence

It has been a while since my last update. Let’s see… It’s week two into June 2010 which means I have been absent for two weeks! Yikes! Well, I’m here now, so let’s just recap two weeks of activities into this one post.

I have been practicing with Kak Anoi quite a lot, whenever I could. And I must say I like my amateurish products so far. I have not gone into post production yet. I would very much like to get the most from the camera and have little to do with Photoshop and such. :-p The Hubby has taught me some tricks to get quirky images as well. He he he… And he has just bought a set of lighting and stuff for a mini studio at home. And who else to become the model but yours truly. Har har har…

My goal now is to get the correct configurations for specific settings as well as good composition. So far I think I’m on the right track. Errr… Has to be verified by my sifoo lah kan?

The contractor and electrician will come by the house tomorrow morning to fix the wiring at the kitchen. Hopefully by end of the week I can start my devious plans. He he he… From there, we will see how far we can go.

Mak and Abah is leaving for Umrah in less than two weeks. There are few things that I need to prepare for them before they go. Alhamdulilah, my uncle and aunt is going with them, so at least they will look after each other. I am a little worried truth be told. I pray that their Ibadah will go smoothly and blessed by Allah Almighty. :-) Owh, they will also visit a couple of places in Jordan for a short while after the Umrah. I’m happy knowing that they will be able to see a little of the world.

Other than that, there’s nothing new. My blog has become boring“er” by each post, I think. I have some repressed feelings that need to be let out honestly. Ha ha ha… however, I have to take time not to just blurt everything out without reconstructing my words. Haih… how I miss the old days. But change is a necessary part of our lives, so I’ll adjust.

Owh, I think I was a tad rude to our neighbour. Well, it’s hard to smile when their house renovation is affecting my day-to-day living. Not only pieces of cement are all over the porch, not to mention the three times flooding, and the noise pollution over the weekend. Haiyaaa… I know I was rude while I was being rude, but I couldn’t help it! :-( It’s very frustrating. I don’t have maids to do daily cleaning like they do. I’m constantly trying to make the house to look nice and inviting, but I constantly feel that I’m failing. I didn’t know being a homemaker could be this emotionally taxing! Ha ha ha…

Anyway, the renovation is almost done. And hopefully things will get back to normal soon. And I hope she keeps her word when she told me that her contractor will clean the cement off the porch area when they are done. Otherwise, there’s a lot of billing to be done; to her AND/OR her contractor! :-p Boleh ke macam tuh? Ha ha ha…

New Body Extension

I am now an owner of another piece of worldly luxuries. Although the purchase did not trigger the euphoric mode like my previous purchases (lesser in monetary values), I am excited to make full use of it. I have plans. But I just do not know how they are going to be materialised. But slowly and surely, one by one will happen, InsyaAllah. I just have to believe in the power of believing.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I present you Kak Anoi, the Canon EOS 550D.

You can read the review on this camera in dpreview HERE. Suffice to say, for a somewhat beginner to photography, this is a kick@$$ unit. I know I wrote not too long ago (Are You A Photographer?) about my intention of owning one and how I felt that it will be a waste of money. However, I decided that it is in a good sense to purchase one because not only I can pursue my “devious” plans (please, Allah!) at least The Hubby can make use of it in his jobs too.

As a bonus, since The Hubby is also using Canon, we can share the lenses and other common accessories. Isn’t that awesome? He he he… I will in time put in the shots that I successfully capture with Kak Anoi.

I am also hoping with this shared interest, The Hubby and I can have more quality time together. I sincerely hope I will not be cramping his style or make him feel chained just because we are on photo outing together. ;-)

Truthfully, I am a little anxious going back home to do some shots around the house. Ha ha ha…