I better start writing this while it is still fresh in my mind. I do not want to lose any detail of this first time. This experience also reminded me on how you can wish and pray for something, but Allah SWT will always have a better plan for you. And you must redha and be thankful. Always.
Thursday, 10/02/2011
We went for check-up, prepared to be admitted that evening. Doctor said I was 2cm dilated and very soft, which means it will be anytime from there on. She said if I don’t deliver the next day, it will be over the weekend. So, it was up to me if I wanted to be induced on Friday. The Hubby let me decide although later on he said he was not yet prepared mentally. :-) Truth be told, if I really think about it, I was not ready neither.
We went back, holding hands in the car, hearts beating furiously, at least for me. The Hubby had to go back to the office. I started to feel pain once or twice every hour that night. And every time the pain came, I would be quiet suddenly. Sometimes, the pain came every 15 minutes. But we made it through the night without having to rush to the ER.
Friday, 11/02/2011
The D-day. We went to Tawakal Hospital early, straight to the admission counter. All rooms were full so I was ushered straight to the labour room. There’s no turning back. It was almost 10 am. The nurse prep me quickly, change of clothes, a chair in front of the toilet door, and few minutes later, it’s heart beating fast waiting for the doctor. Mak was waiting outside the labour ward since only husbands were allowed in. At this moment, I could still smile and joking with The Hubby. I think he took one picture of me, all smiles.
Doctor came at almost noon. While she was examining me, my water broke. So, doctor, with confidence told me that she’ll give it four to six hours. The pain with capital P came after noon. I overcame hurdle after hurdle. It started to peak at around 3pm. I could not watch The Hubby’s face, because I could see how helpless he felt. He wanted to help to massage me, but I said no, he wanted to talk to me and I just wanted quiet, he kept asking me to tell him what he could do for me and all I can say was “there’s nothing you could do for me now, sayang” which I know broke his heart even more. I believed he did not stop praying and making dua’ all the time. Doctor came again at 4pm and asked me again if I really do not want epidural, which I replied in positive. Doctor left. Nurse came in and checked the CTG, she looked a little worried and told me The Baby’s heartbeat was a little erratic. She said it was because I was stressed and The Baby is feeling it too. Nurse said not to worry about taking epidural since almost everyone is taking it, including her. I told her I just don’t want drugs on my baby and again came the familiar statement that the medication does not effect the baby. She left me to decide, and I looked at The Hubby.
Hubby again left it up to me, because he knows how strongly I feel about the matter. In the end, I decided to take it, because I do not want to risk The Baby. When the nurse came to explain about epidural, I just told her that, skip the explanation and just go ahead and do it. Ha ha ha… I think the nurse was taken aback, but at the moment, I was only thinking of The Baby. When the anesthetist came to administer the epidural, I was oblivious to everything, my eyes were closed to overcome the next wave of pain. He tried to administer while I was lying down on my side but could not, so he asked the nurse to sit me up and bent forward. The Hubby had to wait outside while all these being done. The effect was immediate. I felt cold a moment, and then, no pain. But I felt the urge to pass motion from time to time, and that was my trigger for pushing.
The epidural was administered at 5pm. I was fully dilated by 7pm, but The Baby is still nowhere near being delivered. Doctor came and said if by 8pm no change, I will have to go for C-sect. I felt really sad at that time, and it pushed me to work even harder, although I do not know how much harder could I add to the push. I felt I had given all I can. I was asked to lie on my left side, and push when the urge to do so came. That’s what I did, non-stop.
Doctor came in at 8pm and told us there is a final attempt for a normal delivery. Which is to vacuum the baby out. While doctor was explaining and preparing, I kept on pushing whenever I felt the urge. On one of the push, The Doctor said that she could see The Baby’s hair and in the midst of it, I actually asked for clarification, “Baby has hair?” and all eyes were on me. He he he… I heard The Doctor said a while later that she’s going to do a little cut on me and during that time, I do not care that I did not want episiotomy either. I just want The Baby delivered safely. On one of the push, suddenly The Baby was on my tummy and I just could not believe what I was looking at. She was a little blue because she was stucked too long in the birth canal. The birth was difficult because she was facing up.
Alhamdulillah, after all that, my beautiful baby girl, Hana, was delivered at 8:27pm on 11th February 2011.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter I did not get a drug free birth experience or sans episiotomy, all that matter is that my daughter was delivered safely and she’s a healthy baby.
She is 7 day-old today. We will do a little doa selamat session amongst us, and The Hubby will shave her head. InsyaAllah her Aqiqah is already administered by EzyQurban today.
Thank you to all of you who prayed for us, for our safety, for our health. We are forever thankful. After all that, I do believe, that we, The Hubby, Baby Hana and I are really blessed. Thank you Allah.
