Is he your boyfriend?

Me: You don't have a boyfriend, you have an affair.
Anon: Really? What's the difference? Blog about it.

Don't get Anon wrong. She's just in a complicated relationship that span 10 years of on contact and off contact. The so called boyfriend was her boyfriend until something "tragically confusing" happened. Anyway, here they are after 10 over years.

So, when is it an affair and when is it a relationship you ask? I'm going to make it short and simple. Because it doesn't deserve a long explanation. You're just stubborn, Anon. :-p

He is an affair when you have specific timing to call or meet. He is an affair when he cannot get away when you need him the most. He is an affair when the reason he could not be there is because his commitment to his other half. He is an affair, when clearly nothing short of tears could result from your contact with him. He is an affair because officially he belongs to someone else!

He is a boyfriend (okay, pardon me if I go overboard with this... hehehe) when his is the last voice that you hear before you go to bed and most probably the first that you hear when you wake up. He is there whenever you need him and however you need him. He is your shoulder to cry on and the reason your day gets better. He is the voice of reason that makes you face reality and the dream you float with on your cloud nine (hah! Amik ko! hahaha). He is a boyfriend because officially he belongs to you!

How do you end the affair then? No calls. No contacts. No SMS. No IMs. No MMS. Delete without reading anything from him and nothing from you to him. Nil. Zit. Fin! Tears are allowed once a while within the first month. Go out with other people. And DO NOT COMPARE! Take time to smell the rose (and other manly cologne besides his!). Bottom line, you have to take the first step to severe the tie. Do not prolong the pain and misery. If a guy is the reason you cry your unhappiness, he is a guy that is not worth your time to waste on. Trust me on this.