May 18, 2005

Thoughts before going home

It has been a busy day. So much so that my status for the messenger read "Fainted. Do NOT revive me". But then again it has been busy period for me for the past one month. Reason: Taking over task. And believe me, it's the pain in the back, and everywhere else. Am just so lucky my brain did not give out, and just shut down.

No one likes to take over unfinished task from other people. Because it would mean you got to be answerable to what's going on. All the "solved" error log starting to coming back, two by two. On top of that some basic stuff was not complete. Heh! I can go on and on about work, but I rather not. However frustrated I am, it's still, what it is, WORK. And there is no two way about it, like it or not, it has to be done. So, snap.

My housemate, SS, sent me an email this morning, about hmm... the 'situation' between the boyfriend and she. She said something about the reason why she do not want to be in a reationship is because the partner will get hypersensitive on nitty gritty stuff and not understanding her feelings. I agreed. He he he. True wattt...

My advice to her, was something along this line... communicate what she wants and expects. Reason being men do not have the capacity to think more than what women tell/show them. Coz they got no intuition to speak off, as such, they suck in guessing and reading what we want. Everything has to be crystal clear for them.

I always wonder how most of the marriages in yesteryears can last forever. I do not think there was much communication those days. I mean, it was more like, Husband tell, wife do. Or... was it not? These days, we're more... exposed, as such expectations are different and varies. Communication is the most important thing to get the message across. If you want to get more technically scientific, I think there was a research done which concluded, people with the same brain wave or something like that, get along better.

But, I digress. It takes two to tango. So, if one person gets annoyed, it must be the other person did something not quite right. Or probably the annoyed one is just with imbalanced hormone for the day. Thus, making the brain wave a little bit distorted and couldn't be matched with the spouse.

Coming back to reality, there is no easy way in a relationship. There will always be questions, doubts, disagreements and whatever else negativity you can name. It's not a fairy tale however much we want it to be. Both parties have to acknowledge each other, and think about the other person to make it work. It shouldn't be one sided.

We always say it takes a lifetime to know someone. And sometimes, a lifetime is still not enough. But if that is so, then how can it be? You've got one shot at life, and then... capoot. We got to make the best of what we have, it couldn't be anything 'simpler' than that. Life itself is never simple. If it is, we wouldn't be unique and there wouldn't be conflict.

Sometimes, you do not need to understand that person, but just accept that's just the way they are. And remember that probably that was why you were in the relationship in the first place. Some things are meant to stay they are as they were before. They were not meant to be changed. Because, maybe, if they do change, it will never be the same, and it losts its beauty. Thus, acceptance is another important thing in a relationship.

And sometimes, letting go is not the solution. Sometimes, it is. We've just got to decide which option we can go on living with. Or without. Without regrets.

"I've tried to go on like I've never knew you
I'm awake when my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is Incomplete..."

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