The 24th Day

Alhamdulillah... The new addition to the family is getting acclimatized to the surrounding. Sometimes I just watch her sleep and wonder what beautiful things she sees in her dreams. I wonder how peaceful she felt when she was all curled up in the womb. Did she hear angels praising Allah all the time? Does she hear them now?

At times I feel inadequate. I am a mom as I go on with the days. The first born is getting more and more independent that sometimes I lost my cool. It makes me wonder if I am a good mom. It doesn't help when certain people around you make you second guess your decision in teaching your own offspring. 

Alhamdulillah for a supportive and wonderful husband. I couldn't say it enough. It was worth the wait - getting married late to be honored with such a man as the husband. Alhamdulillah.

I make dua' that Allah will continue to bless our little family with mawaddah and rahmah, continue to bestow upon us iman and good tidings. We are learning and we are doing our best as we go. May Allah also give us the wisdom to manage the intelligent children that He entrusted us with. 

Cleaning Up Cobwebs...

This feels alien.

Yet, the idea of reviving Sentral Station is interesting.

I am older now, wiser hopefully. My last post was in 2012. A lot has happened since then. I am in my last trimester with my second child, Alhamdulillah. Obtained my MBA that I started in 2012 and a couple of diplomas in between that. Alhamdulillah. I am called a Professional Learning Facilitator (PLF) now. I am also a SOIF coach, which means, I am able to provide coaching to people who are still looking for what they want in life. I do not know the answer, but insyaAllah I can help them to find their answers.

I am stil a project manager with the first SI in Malaysia. Things are a little rough now. But I believe that Allah has better plans for all of us. InsyaAllah, we'll weather this through and what is promised will become a reality. I'm also using my  project management skills to share the learning with others as well through my module Projek-360.

I am one-third of NAH! We provide learning services in leadership, self development, team building and learning skills. All three of us are PLFs.

This feels alien. Ha ha ha... 

Reading my old posts, it was very much venting by someone who my husband would call miss-know-it-all. LOL! It seemed like I have opinion on everything!! I still do. The difference now is knowing when not to say anything. And just smile.

So much has happened, and somehow, at this sentence, I realise, I do miss blogging. Facebook has ruined many bloggers, in my opinion (see? one more opinion here!!) Yet, it needs a certain connections to get back together. And Sentral Station, is a collection of excellent bloggers from the early millenia who became friends over the wire as well as in physical world. I remember learning from them silently. And it was joy.

Hopefully, by reviving LooneyPuff, I again find joy in writing - and my book(s) will be published!

-- Loonier and Puffier -- 

Snippets and then some

I am a little afraid of the possibility of burning out… I hope I have not bitten more than I could chew. Else, I probably would end up being Chewbucca, with its ummphs and grunts and wailing… Was that even funny? OMG.

At work, two major projects are undergoing. One short term, the other spans for three years. One software and change management project, the other a network infra project. All the awesomeness and sweetness and I am thoroughly enjoying every bit of the smile, the tears, the sweat and the blood (I cut myself handling some paper-works…) I am also supposed to improve the process for managing a certain type of project under one manager. And most recently, taken up the challenge to focus on change management projects under another manager. Yup, I’m reporting to two different managers, one lady the other; gentleman (LOL, Kak Dayang, stop laughing).

At school, I am the elected Team Leader for the current subject, and we’re supposed to come out with a group report and presentation within the next three weeks, one week has passed since our first weekend meet-up. On top of that, there’s one individual essay that each of us has to complete; apparently this essay will be the differentiator to our marks, since all group reports will mean same marks for everyone in the group. So, I need to do very much very well for the essay to ensure distinction for the first module.

At home, I spent last weekend not looking at my work email (primarily because I left my BB on my table at work) and not opening my school books or sitting down doing the assignments. Saturday was spent doing laundry in the morning, and taking the Little Princess for a little socialising with my best buds. I didn’t get to talk much with the girls though, Little Princess was demanding my attention the whole time! Note to self: Leave your kid in the capable hands of your loving husband a.k.a. the devoted father when you want to spend time with your girlfriends. Next meet-up she’ll stay at home!

Owh… God willing, insyaAllah, we’ll be seeing the inside of our humble abode very soon. Am so excited about it, I could jump up and down everyday. We have to be more frugal with money now. Since my decorative instinct is kicking in, and I’m not sure where to look for bargain location, I might end up spending more than I should! Someone please help me on this! Share where are the places to get excellent quality furniture at good price and someone who can do a 3 feet cabinet under RM1K.

As a daughter, I’m getting more and more worried about the wellness of my parents. They suddenly look so fragile. No, they are not frail or anything like that, but looking at them, and watching my daughter growing, I suddenly get the knock behind my head that I am aging too. And my parents… I just can’t imagine not having them. I have to quickly make peace to the cycle of life, or else I’ll be too devastated when the time comes. :’( My only pray is that they stay healthy and be with me for as long as possible… A pray like any other child, I supposed… I love them. And no amount of success or high degrees or famous certification could ever make me feel any better should Allah SWT decide it’s time. Allah, please make me stronger, and make it easier for me to submit to your will. Ameen.

Where Are We?

In the aftermath of Erykah Badu’s cancelled concert, I quietly reflect on it and the responses that I read and heard. Everyone has an opinion why Malaysia is a backward nation or how phobia of war on Islam is spreading. If you google the story, you can even read comments that non-Malaysians are giving. Some angry, and some surprisingly understanding.

I can’t really call myself Erykah Badu’s fan, I don’t know her songs though I am sure I have enjoyed them now and again. I enjoy listening to R&B and Soul music. I just don’t really bother finding out the title of the songs and who sing them… :-)

Let’s look at the issue generally. Any country has a right to refuse entry of a person, for any possible reason they can come out with. It’s the right of the government. It’s their country. Even from international business perspective, a country can forbid foreign companies operating locally to send back their profit to their parent company in their own country; if they see it to be economically fit. Malaysia did this once during the economic downturn in late 90s. This is to protect the country’s economy.

Some country even stop the operations of foreign company and all foreign workers are deported. This happens. All the time.

Yes, Malaysia has made the international news for revoking rights to perform or reject the application altogether for a number of international artists. We’ve done it before, we just did it this week, I’m pretty sure we’ll do it again in future. Regardless whether it is politically motivated or not.

Yesterday morning, the Executive Officer of Centre for Independent Journalism of Malaysia was interviewed by BFM on this issue. She said something about not to expect non-Muslim to know or understand the meaning behind the Arabic characters. She also said that what happened is due to political mileage, and some people are trying to say Islam is being attacked in Malaysia. I beg to differ.

We have to understand the American culture. They are mostly individualistic bunch of people, with little regards of other people feelings. And this is not just a generalisation, this is based on research. With this mentality, what they do, is basically for themselves. To them, the arabic word is just art, just like the cross, star of David even the tree of life. They can make fun of their religion, and they will not be chastise for it; so much. I’m sure there are still prudent and respectful, God fearing Americans. But get this, they are so detached that most of the times they don’t realise what they do are affecting other people in different ways.

So, I ask you now; as a Malaysian, do you not see that our society is still pretty much communal and reserved? What response were you expecting other than anger when the picture came out. True enough for some of us so called “liberal” Muslims, we do not mind. But let me tell you, it is because we are slowly becoming individualistic ourselves. So what if some people are crying foul over the tattoo? Let them be. At least, there are still people out there brave enough to stand up for their religion, for people to learn to respect this Almighty being we prostate ourselves to.

I haz a little sadness. It has been said that the weakest stage of Iman is to disagree in silence, in the heart. I was thinking to myself, do I even fall in this category? I saw the picture of Erykah Badu with the tattoo long time ago. But unobservant as I was, I didn’t even realise there was a tattoo spelt “Allah”… I feel sad. Is it because I am so detached from my religion, that I am becoming ignorant of things like these? Have I slowly becoming too “liberal” that I do not care when other people are using my religion carelessly?

Yes, they may not understand, and they may not care. But hey, I as a Muslim myself, shouldn’t it be part of my responsibility to educate people on my religion? To tell them, look, this thing that you think is only art, is very very much dear to Muslims. True it’s just a bunch of arabic characters, but it represents something so big that the characters do not do it justice. I should be able to make an impact, and make people realise that it is not something to be so casual about. But I should also be able to explain it in educative way, and not just shout foul.

Truthfully there are more important, vital things to be discussed with regards to being a good Muslim. But now and then Allah SWT throw to us a little challenge, a little test, for us to see and reflect how we react to it. And we should not just ignore it, at the very least, if it is bad, we could disagree in our hearts.

Sometimes we see artist changing their lifestyle to be more Islamic. Some people joke about them. At least they are making progress. True enough, they could pull the holier-than-thou attitude, but hey, that’s one of the weaknesses that they have to overcome. And for the rest of us, have we started to make the journey to be a better Muslim? For all we know, they might have more favours from Allah SWT than we could ever will get…

Anyway, for people to ask for revoking of The Star’s license is too much. Come on people. They have apologise. Move on. In this I agree with the EO of CIJM. Don’t go for blood just because you think it’s the way to go. Be matured, Islam is so much more gentle than that. Be a living example of it’s embodiment.

This is a long post. I’m tired. Have a great weekend ahead y’all. Take care! :-)

The Mid-30s

Less than two weeks ago, I celebrated my 34th birthday. Ala… what’s so secret about the number right? Hahaha…

To say that I’ve accomplished much, would be a lie, for there are lots of things that I would want to be doing at the moment. I don’t even have a house under my own name, yet. What I have is a string of debts, necessary and otherwise. Haha…

I will not compare my success and achievements with others. For what I have now is what I can handle, and I wouldn’t be so arrogant to say that I deserve more, now. I thank The Lord for all that He’s bestowed upon me, blessings after blessings that sometimes go unnoticed, unappreciated.

The times that I spent for silly things, for empty talks, for day-dreaming, and yet so little time spent in remembering Him, thanking Him. This year, again, I vow to be a better servant than last year. Lord, give me strength to be persistent and consistent.

I am not getting younger. Now that I have a child, it is a constant reminder that I’m growing older, and soon I will be taking over my mom’s age. And because of this, it is a painful realization that my parents are also getting older, their strength ebbing away.

Where I am now is probably my mid-life. That is if I live until the age of 68. I can’t understand why people keep saying 30s are still young, when you’re only about 20 years away from retirement. And what can you do within that remaining years to achieve more than now? It’s all about opportunities and a little bit of luck.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m sailing through life without a direction, just following where the wind is blowing. Thus, the phrase “going with the flow” is not really a good phrase to base your life on. We must have direction, we need to have a destination. And one sure destination is meeting Him. How we meet him, that’s the direction that we need to decide.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE! May you be wiser and more cheerful from today onwards! May you achieve your dreams, your needs and wants, may you have all the love that the world can give you. May you be a great wife to your hubby and an awesome mom to your daughter. I know the wish comes a little late, but hey, better late than never!