It's cold

One of my favourite authors is Nora Roberts. I know some people would consider paper back novels are time waster. I think I've mentioned before this that one of my escapism method is to read. So, I read things that make me feel good, things that take my mind of the real world. If I wanted to read on finance or economy or the next political aspiration, I would, I just don't see why I should if my intention is to escape.

As I read another one of her novels, I'm again reminded why I like her writings. It's her ability to create phrases with deep meaning and being honest at the same time. Her books are about relationships, and more. It's not only about the affinity between a man and a woman, but it is also about kinship. She writes about family and friends and how these people are vital to a person. Romance is just a side benefit of telling the story. Her centre is more about family and friendship. These can be seen in many of her trilogies and series.

She wrote about sisters or brothers, who share the same parents or not, separated for years or living under the same roof, each is valued for their individuality and differences. And she wrote so that people can accept it without being prejudiced or ashamed about it.

Actually, it's freezing cold in my office. Maybe it's just me, because my other colleagues seemed to be oblivious to the temperature. I'm sitting squatted on my chair and when not using my hands, my palms are underneath my butt. If I could move the mouse and make the keyboard work with telekinetic abilities, I would. Can this be learnt? When it's too cold I just cannot think. And my lazy mode is switched on. And it's difficult to get out of it and get active. I'm so lame and predictable, eh?

Today, I wonder, what does it take to get a man's honest attention. And I'm not talking about flashing flesh. And it's not like I have a target in mind to impress. I find myself looking around but not finding a worthy adversary. Today, I concluded that I'm tired playing around the way I do. It's time to move on. But I found myself afraid of what's to come. And I realised that being a sore-loser, I'm scared I'd fail again. Today, I admitted to myself that I've been giving the wrong impression of myself. Some would say I'm wild and untame. Few would see it as a facade. And none ever did. Today, I'm being honest to myself that what I gain so far is unfulfilling and I only managed to scar myself even deeper.

Two weeks back my horoscope said I should advertise that I'm ready for a relationship. I am ready to be loved. Stupid, eh? I laughed then. But I'm not now. Because there's a truth in it. How people treat you is how you present yourself on how you want to be treated. You set out as a body without a mind people will say you're stupid. You set out with emotionally with heart on the sleeve people deemed you a martyr. You go out being emotionally detached people look at you as unfeeling.

But we're wearing masks, aren't we? Otherwise, how else do we protect ourselves?