On Hitz.FM

This morning, the DJ gave out some tips to guys.

1. The number one question that you should never ask a woman:

"Have you gained weight?"

Reason: Because women ALWAYS know that they have gained some extra pounds. So never ever point it out.

2. When asked the question, "Do I look fat in this?", always answer:

"Dear, the dress do you no justice!"

and quickly start talking about anything else.

Now, it's funny when you hear it the first time, but then, when the hillarious air subsided, a question formed in my head. Why are we, women, so obsessed about the extra pounds? Believe me, I am no different. Part of it because I am worried about it, part of it because it seems like the IN thing to be worried about my lovehandle.

There is an answer for the question that applicable for all though. We are influenced by the notion of "beauty". Now, lets be honest with ourselves, we give each other excuses like "to stay healthy", "to stay in shape", etc etc, but it all boils down to one common understanding. We want to look pretty. As what the standard mass acceptance. Slim without jiggly wiggly, without 'unsightly' bulge, is pretty. It is never wrong to look pretty. It boost up our confidence. And it also, helps to hold our 'loving' partner on our side. They will have no reason to look elsewhere.

Now, there is a saying, when a man loves a woman, he looks pass the physical attributes. May I say, this is a bull dunk? NO WAY! Humans are naturally attracted to pretty, pleasant looking things, pleasing to their eyes. First impression is always physical. So does the second, third, and so on. With other additional attributes as you move along. But appearance, matters. I learnt that first hand, accepted that. There has to be physical attraction, then, and only then can there be the second step. Oh, women, we are the same. We also put physical attractiveness as one of the priority. Probably, we give some allowance in certain cases, we are more... gentle in that sense. But the fact remains, we also go for the eye candy. Think Joe Black, Angel the Vamp and.. urmm.. Balthezar/Cole in Charmed? Ahhhh....

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, there's nothing wrong in wanting to look good. In fact it's great that we have the inclination to look better. BUT let's not be too obsessed about it, shall we? I mean, look at the tips in Hits.FM. They have to prepare an answer, a standard answer, just to avoid being in a sticky position. This is not being sincere. Both sides has to be. The man and the woman. The one who's doing the asking, and the one who's answering.

Why did we ask in the first place? Just so that we get a pleasant answer to make us feel good? Wouldn't it be more exciting and pleasing when we're complimented without we're giving out hints or prompting the other person? Or did we ask because we want to 'trap' that other person? Oh... we wouldn't be so cruel, would we.. Don't do that. It's not nice.. He he he...

It won't hurt a bit if we bite our lips to hold the thoughts to ourselves, stop ourselves from asking. On the other hand it won't hurt either GUYS, for you to come out with sincere compliments for your spouses. Be a little more... empathic towards each other. Come on... a real man would be able to do that. ;-) And if we can do this, there wouldn't be a need for radio stations or magazines to come out with suggested answers to dangerous-questions-in-a-tricky-situation.

Oh, I want to raise something on magazines, tv and ad companies also. Inside, they have this articles of love thyself, thy body, thy skin, thy colour and the whole lot. But, the pictures! The cover, the advertisements. Come one people, let's not be a hypocrite. If you are all for people loving themselves, let's be more realistic in conveying the message. You have an article about loving yourself for who you are, but on the next page, oh, straight hair is beautiful, tame your wild curls! the power of whitening! fair like a goddess. Stop all this lah, will you? When can people start loving themselves when you're giving out mixed signals like that? Do you know that in some parts of India, they rather die than having dark complexion? I'm not making this up, I read it in NST some time back.

So, loose those inches people, but don't starve. Use that whitening cream, but don't expect to be fair like Paige Halliwell. Do the hair but rejoice its natural beauty. I think, I have come to terms with my natural state, that I feel far superior than those of shelf products result. Oh, I may grumble and complain that I lack this, and have more of that, but.. well, that's just part of being a woman, isn't it? Hehe... I may not be the next Miss World, but I am who I am, love me, hate me.